


Imitating Life

by Sparkles436



Category: The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec Lightwood deserves love, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Art Student Alec Lightwood, Artist Alec Lightwood, Description of Injuries, Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Fashion Designer Magnus Bane, Flirting, Graphic descriptions of violence, Heavy Angst, Homophobic Attack, Homophobic Language, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Longing, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane deserves love, Magnus Is Awesome, Medical Jargon, Medical Procedures, Medical Terms, Mutual Pining, PTSD, Physical Disability, Physical Therapy, Pining, Protective Jace, Protective Magnus, Recovery, Sexual Harassment, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Swearing, This will be heavy, Trauma, Traumatic Brain Injury, but for the most part, description of medical procedures, descriptions of medical care, domestic Alec Lightwood/Magnus Bane, hospital stay, more tags to be added later, not graphic medical descriptions, protective isabelle, there will be light moments, workplace harassment
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:49:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 44,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27859353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sparkles436/pseuds/Sparkles436
Summary: After Alec suffers a horrific attack, his whole life seems to fall apart. As he faces a future that looks dramatically different than the one he used to see, he meets someone who challenges him to begin living agin and reaching for everything he thought now out of his reach.Will he be brave enough to hope once more or will his fear cripple him?
Relationships: Alec Lightwood & Jace Herondale & Isabelle Lightwood, Alec Lightwood/Sebastian Versace (beginning only), Helen Blackthorn/Aline Penhallow, Jace Herondale/Clary Fray (background only), Magnus Bane & Clary Fray, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis/Raphael Santiago (background only)
Comments: 234
Kudos: 185





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so first off, this story is going to get pretty heavy at times, especially in the first 6 chapters, so please be aware. Read the tags, and be aware of what is going to come. I think the first 6 chapters will be as heavy as it gets but as I am still writing it, more might come. I will try to warn for everything so people can make informed decisions.  
> Secondly, at the start of this story, Alec is with someone else. It won’t last long, and I promise Malec is endgame and will be the major relationship of this story. However, seeing is this is primarily an Alec story, at least at the beginning, it takes a little bit for Magnus to appear. I promise he arrives before the chapters hit double digits, but some patience will be needed for Magnus. I can promise, once he arrives, he will not leave.  
> Ok, tags for first chapter;  
> *homophobic language and behaviour  
> *Workplace and sexual harassment (not to or by Alec)  
> *Brief description of physical violence

Alec moved the charcoal down the paper in a long gestural line, using the edge of his pinky to smudge it slightly, before looking back up at the model in front of him. Studying the shadows flowing over the man's body, he failed to notice a second man stop behind him, studying his work. Moving his hand back to the slightly grey pastel board resting on the easel in front of him, Alec began creating those same shadows in his drawing, the two-dimensional figure on the board coming alive under his skilled hands. It was a few minutes more before Alec looked up again, finally feeling the presence of someone close by. Turning slightly, he saw his Professor, Hodge Starkweather, standing behind him, watching intently.

“It’s exquisite, Alec.” 

“Thank you.”

“You don’t sound happy with it,” Hodge asked with a slight questioning tone in his rough voice, a contrast to the soft smile on his face as he looked from Alec’s work to Alec himself.

“I can’t get the depth right.”

“What do you feel is missing?”

“You’re the professor” Alec laughed. “Can’t you tell me what I’m doing wrong?”

“Well, it depends on what you want to achieve. You are not going to get the same precision working with charcoal that you get with the graphite you prefer to use. You know that.”

“I know, but I can’t master the depth grading here. The shadows are wrong.” Alec sighed, as he critiqued his work.

“You’re too hard on yourself Alec. Your work is strong.”

As Hodge began to step away, he paused and turned back briefly,

“Come see me after this session would you please Alec? There’s something I want to talk to you about.”

Alec frowned slightly at his professor, for a brief moment worried that he’d done something wrong and failed a vital course.

“Sure, ok.”

“Thanks.”

With a last look at Alec’s work, Hodge moved on to the next student. Alec’s eyes followed him briefly before determinedly turning back to the board and assignment in front of him, his hand impatiently brushing his hair off his face as he did so.

An hour later, Alec found himself knocking on the door of the visiting professor, once more brushing his hair back, before he lowered his hand.

“Come in.”

Alec opened the door, and stepped into the office, taking note of the chairs in the corner, one of which had a sketchbook resting on it, and a variety of pencils and smudging stumps on the table beside it. Looking around, he saw Hodge standing behind his desk, with his back to him. As he turned, Alec saw the coffee maker in front of Hodge and as he held up a cup in a silent question, Alec nodded and waited for his professor to turn back to him.

“Milk? Sugar?”

“No, thank you.”

Finishing the coffee’s, Hodge turned and holding the two cups, gestured in front of him.

“Let’s sit in the corner. I hate that damn desk.”

Alec gave a small chuckle in response, and taking the coffee mug Hodge held out, followed the man to the chairs he had noticed coming in.

As Alec sat down and waited for Hodge to begin, his mind began turning over all the possible reasons he could have been called into the office. 

Not a standing member of the University’s art faculty, Hodge was visiting for a semester from one of the most prestigious art schools in North America, The Institute. It had been Alec’s dream to attend The Institute since he had first heard his mother talking about it, over a decade ago. The school was invite-only, allowing no more than 20 students a year to attend, and for a brief moment, Alec considered that this was why he’d been called in. 

A year at The Institute almost guaranteed a successful career in the art world, and Alec wanted it, more than he had ever wanted anything in his life. 

Unfortunately, it looked like he hadn’t made the cut, as he knew invites had already gone out. Raj, a fellow student at Alec’s NY university, and a rival almost from the first class they had shared, had been bragging to all who’d listen, and those who couldn’t walk away fast enough, that he had received his invitation earlier that week. 

It seemed that only two from Alec’s university had received the coveted invitation, Raj, and Alec’s best friend Andrew. 

Rather than bragging about it, Andrew had quietly shared his news with Alec, the hope bleeding through his voice, that Alec had received the same invite. It killed Alec that he hadn’t gotten in, even more so when he remembered that Raj did. Raj was a talented artist, there was no denying that, but Alec knew his work was better. His work was the best in his year, Raj and Andrew included. 

This was not an inflated sense of ego talking either, as anyone who knew Alec or had seen his work could attest. A generally reserved and quiet man, Alec was not always confident in social situations and could often find himself fumbling his way through new experiences. When it came to his art though, you saw the steely confidence in Alec that otherwise lay dormant. He knew he was good. Unfortunately, it seemed that Hodge and others at The Institute didn’t agree.

Focusing his attention back on the man himself, Alec pushed down the hope that his invitation had somehow gotten lost in the mail and considered what other reason he could have been called in.

“I can see you worrying Alec. Relax.” Hodge said.

Trying to follow his advice, Alec took a deep breath, and let his shoulders drop slightly. Taking a sip of coffee, he looked over at his professor and waited.

“Tell me Alec, have you always been so critical of yourself?” Hodge began.

“Sorry?” Alec asked, confused as to the way this conversation had begun.

“You are one of the best students I have seen in all my days of teaching, yet you are more critical of your work than anyone I know. Why is that?”

“It is only by recognising your faults that you can overcome them” Alec replied, repeating a phrase he had heard often growing up.

“True enough,” Hodge replied, before taking a sip of his coffee. 

“Tell me, did you hear that the invitations had gone out for spots at The Institute next year?”

“Yes sir.”

With a considered look, Hodge regarded Alec.

“Were you surprised you didn’t receive one?” He asked.

Now how to answer this, Alec thought to himself. Do I admit that I was surprised? Or was false modesty the way to go here? Deciding that in the face of indecision, honesty was always best, Alec answered.

“Yes. I was.”

“Good. It’s nice to know that despite how critical you are of yourself, you also recognise how talented you are. That’s important. And it will serve you well when you come to The Institute.”

“I-I’m sorry?” Alec stammered. 

“I thought I didn’t get in. I didn’t get an invitation.”

“My fault I’m afraid,” said Hodge. “I wanted to tell you in person.”

“Tell me what?” Alec asked, not wanting to hope but unable to stop himself.

“You’re in,” Hodge told him with a smile.

“I’m in?”

“You’re in.”

“I’m in,” Alec repeated, sitting stunned in his chair, unable to take it in before a smile started creeping over his face.

“I’M IN!!!!!!” He shouted, jumping out of his chair, unable to stay still any longer. “I’m fucking in!”

The smile stayed on his face as he turned on the spot before he suddenly remembered where he was and who he was with.

“Oh God, I’m sorry Sir. That was not professional. I’m so sorry” Alec said with a grimace, sheepishly returning to sit back in his chair.

He relaxed slightly though when he saw Professor Hodge laughing at Alec’s joy.

“I just got a little carried away in the excitement. Sorry.” Alec repeated.

With a chuckle, Hodge waved Alec’s apology away.

“It’s fine young Alec. I’ve both heard and said much worse myself. Do you want to hear the details, or do you need a minute to celebrate some more?”

“I’m good Sir. Please continue.”

“Ok.” He smiled. Blowing across the top of his coffee and taking a sip, Hodge looked over to Alec.

“I wanted to tell you personally Alec, that not only are you invited to attend your final year of study at The Institute but that you have also been gifted the Idris scholarship.”

As Hodge sat back he seemed to be waiting for Alec’s next uncontrolled outburst. Instead, he watched as Alec sat frozen in his seat, unable to comprehend what he had just heard.

“Alec?” Hodge prompted.

“Could you please repeat that?” Alec asked.

“You got the Idris scholarship, Alec.”

“That scholarship hasn’t been given out in years,” Alec said softly.

“Four years to be exact. It’s not given out every year. It’s chosen only for those who have deemed to be exceptionally talented.”

“And I’ve been chosen?” Alec said, still not daring to believe this was real.

“You have.”

For the next 40 minutes, Hodge took Alec through what would be expected of him over the next year. 

In gaining a spot at The Institute, Alec would be given access to some of the best instructors from around the world, gaining invaluable experience and contacts in the art world. 

Graduates of The Institute took part in two different art showings. The first just a month into their studies, and done as a group, displaying a few of the different pieces that had gotten them admittance into the school, to begin with. 

This was generally just attended by friends and family of the students, as well as some of their instructors, with maybe a few art reviewers, looking to see if there was anyone they should keep an eye out for. 

The second was after graduation, showcasing the talent and skill that The Institute had honed through the year. All of the country’s most important critics and reviewers of the art world were invited and a good showing could put you on the map. 

As the recipient of the Idris scholarship, Alec would not only have free access to The Institute, and private tutoring in addition to those provided in his regular studies, but rather than joining his fellow students in the second group showing, Alec would be gifted a private showing of his own, all expenses paid. 

It was the opportunity of a lifetime. 

And it was being given to him. 

In a daze, Alec walked down the front steps of the East wing, where the art department was housed, his hand once more brushing distractedly through his hair, but this time without thought or intention. At the bottom of the steps, Alec felt his legs start to go out on him, and he sat himself down. After a brief moment of disbelief, he felt giddiness come over him and he pulled out his phone.

“Alec” he heard over the phone as his boyfriend picked up.

“Hi, have you got a minute?” 

“A quick one. I have my final exam in 20 mins and I’m doing a last-minute cram. What’s up?”

“I got in.”

“Got in where?”

“I got into The Institute Sebastian.”

“You got into . . . Alec! You got in!”

“I did” Alec answered, finally starting to have it feel real, now that he was sharing it with someone he loved.

“That's amazing Alec! I am so proud of you! Congratulations!”

“Thank you. Actually, there’s even more news than that” Alec said, excited to share the biggest part of his news.

“And I can’t wait to hear all about it Alec, but can you possibly tell me tonight? I promise, as soon as I get back home tonight, we’ll go out and celebrate. Invite everyone! But I really need to finish cramming right now if I am going to ace this exam. And I need to ace this exam Alec.”

Alec felt a little disappointment in Sebastian’s response, but shrugged it off for now, knowing that Sebastian’s studies were just as important as his own and that that was where Sebastian’s focus had to be right now. They could celebrate tonight after all. With the warmth of that thought reigniting his excitement, he answered Sebastian’s request.

“Of course Seb. Go and be brilliant, just like you always are. We’ll celebrate tonight.”

“Wonderful. I’ll see you tonight.”

Just as Alec was about to hang up he heard Sebastian speak again.

“Alec?”

“Yeah?”

“Congratulations again. I’m proud of you.”

With a smile on his face, Alec hung up and then clicked on his sister’s contact next.

“Alec!” Izzy answered happily. “Jace and I have finished our last exams and are trying to decide how to spend our first night free of frantic cramming. Any ideas?”

“Are you with Jace now? Can you put me on speaker?” Alec asked his sister.

“Ok” Izzy answered with a puzzled tone. Alec heard a click and then his brother's voice came booming over the phone.

“Alec! What’s up brother! Tonight we drink!”

“Tonight we celebrate” Alec answered with a laugh.

“What are we celebrating?” Izzy asked.

“I got in,” Alec said quietly. With a smile, Alec pulled the phone away from his ear as his brother and sister suddenly began shouting in excitement, not needing him to say anything more to know what he was talking about.

“One at a time,” he told them. “I can’t make out what either of you is saying.”

Alec wouldn’t deny that this was the reaction he had been waiting for. Unbridled excitement and joy in his news. And he hadn’t even told them the best part of it yet.

As his brother and sister began to calm down, Alec continued.

“There’s more exciting news if you’re ready for it.” 

“What else could there be!” Izzy asked.

“Alec, this is what you have wanted ever since I’ve known you brother,” Jace said to him. “What could be more exciting than this?”

“I got the Idris scholarship.”

Again, Alec was forced to hold the phone away from his ear as his siblings expressed their joy in his news.

“Alec this is amazing,” Jace said, once he had calmed down a little.

“I am so proud of you brother. You deserve this.” 

Alec could hear the pride in his brother’s voice. The emotion that he usually kept tamped down and hidden away, only ever unleashed for his brother and sister to witness.

“Thanks, Jace. What about you Izzy? You’re strangely quiet” Alec inquired.

As Alec listened for his sister's voice, he heard unladylike sniffles and sobs instead.

“Izzy’s not up to talking just now. She’s overcome at how much more talented and good looking her two big brothers are than her.”

“Shut up you arse!!!” Alec heard Izzy sniff, as well as what sounded suspiciously like a hand hitting some part of Jace, a hunch that was confirmed when he heard Jace shout out in pain.

“I’m so proud of you Hermano. I love you so fucking much and I am so very very proud of you” Izzy said to him, still sniffing and obviously overcome.

“Thanks, Iz. I love you too. Both of you.”

“Alright, alright. Enough smooshy stuff. You know it makes me nauseous” Jace said. “We’re going out to celebrate tonight, right Alec?”

“Yeah, I talked to Seb and we’re thinking Hunter’s Moon around 7 pm You’ll invite Aline, Helen and Maia? I'll find Andrew and Lydia and tell them.”

“You got it, bro.”

“Alec. Have you told Mum and Dad yet?” Izzy asked.

“No, not yet” he replied.

“Alec, you should call them. They’ll be thrilled for you.” 

“Yeah, I know. I’ll call them now.”

“Ok,” she said. “I am so proud of you big brother.”

“Thanks again Iz.”

“Hey, Alec!” Jace called out before he could hang up.

“Yeah”

“How’d Sebastian take the news? Was he thrilled?”

Alec took a breath.

“He was very happy for me. Very, very happy.”

“What aren’t you saying, Alec?” Jace asked, worry in his voice.

“Nothing Jace. He was thrilled. We just didn’t get a chance to talk much as he was about to head into an exam, that’s all.”

“Oh. Well, I’m sure he’ll make up for it when he gets home tonight. What are you doing now?” Jace asks. “Do you want to come over to mine and we’ll start celebrating early?”

“No, I’m going to make a few more calls and then go home and sketch for a bit. Try to take it all in” Alec answered. “But thanks, Jace. See you both tonight?”

As they both agreed, Alec hung up, and looking around, decided that he would walk back to the small apartment he shared just off campus with Sebastian before making his next lot of phone calls.

“Oh Honey, I’m so proud of you!

“Thanks, Mum.”

“You’ve worked so hard for this Alec. And the Idris scholarship too. I can hardly believe it. You deserve it of course you do. You’re incredibly talented, but they don’t give out the Idris scholarship to just anybody Alec. They don’t even give it out every year. It has to have been at least three years since they gave it out.”

“Four. Hodge confirmed it to me when he told me about the scholarship.”

“And my boy got it,” Maryse said tearfully.

“We have to celebrate Alec. Can you and Sebastian come over for dinner tonight?” Maryse asks hopefully. “We’ll make it a real family affair. Max would love to see you, Izzy and Jace. He misses you now that you’ve all moved out.”

“I’d love to Mum, but I’ve already made plans to go out with Sebastian, and Izzy and Jace and some other friends. Another time?”

“Sure Honey. Tomorrow?” Maryse asks.

“Sure, sounds great.”

“Perfect, I’ll cook something special. Have you told your father yet?”

Alec hesitated slightly before answering.

“No, I haven’t called him yet. I thought I’d wait till later when he’s off work.”

“I’m sure he’d prefer to hear it straight away Alec. He never minds being interrupted by you and he’ll be so proud.”

“Really?” Alec asks doubtfully.

“Alec . . .” Maryse begins.

Before this conversation could continue along this path, Alec cut in.

“I’ll call him now Mum. I’ll see you tomorrow ok? I Love you.”

“I love you too Honey. I’m so proud.”

“Thanks, Mum. Bye.”

“Bye Alec,” Maryse said softly.

Despite promising to call his father right away, Alec took a few minutes, to prepare himself for the conversation with his father. Alec’s relationship with Robert was a complicated one. 

Largely absent from Alec and Isabelle’s lives for their first decade, their parents attitudes had changed when Robert and Maryse’s best friends had been killed in a car crash, orphaning their only son, Jace. 

Robert had worked with Jace’s father Stephen and when they died, both Robert and Maryse had taken stock of their lives and realising they had no real relationship with their two children, they had adopted Jace and made a concerted effort to get to know them all, including the new brother they had discovered Maryse was pregnant with the week after Jace’s adoption was finalised. 

It had taken time but the children had grown to trust that their parents were genuine in their interests and that this new attitude was here to stay. This relationship was again challenged though when at the age of 18, Alec came out to both his parents. 

Both of them had struggled to accept Alec’s sexuality, but Robert more so. Though after some time he had told Alec it changed nothing in his love for his son, there was still a distinct cooling in their relationship, with Robert turning distinctly cold whenever the subject turned to Alec’s love life.

Bracing himself, Alec called his father.

“Alec! This is a nice surprise.”

Despite Alec’s reticence, Robert did sound genuinely happy to have Alec call him. For a brief moment, Alec forgot what he was supposed to be doing and tried to remember when the last time was that he had called Robert and not the other way around.

“Alec? You there?”

“Yeah, sorry Dad. I got distracted for a second.”

“No problem. How are your classes? Are you finished for the semester?”

“Yeah, I finished my last class this morning and submitted my final piece.”

“How do you think you went?” Robert asked

“I did good.”

“Yes?”

“Yeah, I did good Dad.”

“That’s good Alec.”

There was a brief pause while they both tried to find the next thing to say.

“Did you call for a reason?” Robert asked. “I haven’t had lunch yet if you want to meet up for a late one” 

“Ah, no, thanks, Dad. I just grabbed something when I got home. I did call for a reason though.”

“Oh yes?”

“Yeah. I wanted to let you know that Professor Hodge called me into his office after class today to let me know personally that I have been invited to attend The Institute.”

“Alec! That’s incredible! Congratulations son! You must be thrilled.”

“Yeah, I am,” Alec replied. “I’m really happy. There’s actually more Dad.”

“Oh? Give it to me.”

“I’ve been gifted the Idris scholarship too.”

As Alec waited for his Dad’s reaction, he began to wonder if they’d been cut off.

“Dad?”

“I’m here Alec.”

If Dad didn’t know better he’d say Robert was a little choked up.

“I’m here, I’m just a little speechless. Alec this is amazing and absolutely deserved. I am so proud of you son.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

“Can you come over tonight? We’ll have a family dinner and celebrate. You, me, your Mum, Izzy, Jace, Max.”

At the list of names, Alec felt his excitement drop again. Would this ever be easy between them?

At Alec’s sigh, Robert reluctantly continued.

“Sebastian is of course welcome also Alec. That’s a given.”

“Yes, it is” Alec answered. Before Robert could jump in with another comment to remind Alec that a large part of his life was a constant disappointment, Alec continued.

“I’m going out to celebrate with Sebastian tonight Dad. I can’t make it.”

“Do you have to go out with him tonight? Can’t you be with your family tonight?”

“Dad, I’ve been with Sebastian for over a year and a half now. We love each other and live together. He is my family. Plus, Izzy and Jace will both be there, as well as some of our friends.”

“We are your family, Alec.”

“So is he. Anyway, no I can’t do it another night, it’s already been organised. I told Mum Sebastian and I will come over for dinner tomorrow night.”

“Fine. Ok.”

All the excitement and happiness that had been flooding his father's voice earlier in the conversation, was suddenly missing and Alec resigned himself to the fact that he and Robert would never resolve this issue.

“I’ll see you, tomorrow Dad.”

“Yes, I’ll see you tomorrow Alec.”

With that Robert hung up, leaving Alec holding a disconnected phone in his hand and the wish that he had listened to his earlier instinct and delayed the phone call to Robert. Knowing that there was nothing he could do about it now, and feeling too keyed up and angry to continue some sketches he’d started earlier in the week, Alec instead changed into some shorts and an old faded t-shirt and went out for a run.

Forty-five minutes later, Alec approached his apartment building, dripping in sweat, feeling much more relaxed and calm than he had when he had left. Unlocking his door, he began pulling his headphones out of his ears and put his phone and keys down on the table just in front of the front door.

“Hey, your back!”

Turning around, Alec saw Sebastian coming out of the kitchen with a bottle of water in his hands, a large smile on his face.

“Hey” Alec returned and with a smile, began making his way across the living room, to give Sebastian a soft kiss. As the kiss deepened, Alec began pulling his boyfriend closer, pressing his body against his. With a smile, Sebastian pulled back.

“You’re sweaty. You got no chance of getting lucky buster.”

“Oh yeah?” Alec replied with a smirk.

“I guess I’ll go take a shower then. Get rid of that sweat that is turning you off your hot, handsome boyfriend.”

With that, Alec stepped away, slowly pulling his t-shirt over his head, before looking back over his shoulder at Sebastian with a smile.

“Well I wouldn’t say I was turned off,” Sebastian said hastily.

“Oh no?” Alec replied innocently. 

“Well, maybe you want to come and help scrub me down?”

“I guess I can do that. After all, we are supposed to be celebrating right? No one said we can’t start now.”

As Sebastian began following Alec into the bedroom’s ensuite, Alec smiled and tossed his shirt in the hamper before turning back to his boyfriend with a grin.

“You are so easy to manipulate,” he said with a laugh, as Sebastian walked past him.

“Shut up, and get in here.”

An hour later found Alec and Sebastian lounging around on their couch, in their boxers, taking it easy before they had to get ready to meet everybody at The Hunter's Moon. Alec had just finished telling Sebastian all about his conversation with Hodge, including his news about the scholarship. Once Sebastian had finished congratulating him, Alec directed the conversation back to his boyfriend.

"How'd your final exam go? You ace it?" Alec asked Sebastian as he leaned back against his boyfriend's chest.

"No idea," Sebastian answered, randomly drawing patterns on Alec's chest as he spoke. 

"I passed, and that's enough for now. Tonight we are focusing on you."

"Oh yeah?" Alec chuckled.

"You've just sat your final exam for law school, and that's not worthy of focusing on?"

"Not tonight. Tomorrow we can celebrate that I have finally, finally finished school, while you are stuck with another year of hard study." Sebastian smiled in response to Alec's snort of laughter before continuing, "But tonight, we are only celebrating the fact that my very talented, very sexy boyfriend has just won a place, and a scholarship . . . That is really going to piss Raj off!"

Alec burst into laughter while turning his head to give Sebastian a kiss.

"You're an idiot. And tomorrow we’ve been asked to go to my parent's place for dinner."

At this, Sebastian tensed up under Alec and pushed his boyfriend up and off him.

"Shit! Really Alec!"

"They want to celebrate too Sebastian. I can't not go."

Looking at the pissed off look on Sebastian's face, he made the offer he really didn't want to make, especially after his conversation with his father.

"You don't have to come if you don't want to. I'll go without you, and you can stay home and relax or go hang out with Derek and Matt or something."

Sebastian stood up and began moving to the bedroom, still talking as he went.

"Yeah, Alec. That's a fantastic idea. That way, your father can bitch about me all he wants, right? Great plan."

"I wouldn't let him do that! You know I wouldn't," Alec said as he followed Sebastian into the bedroom.

"Oh, like you'd be able to stop him. Forget it, Alec. I am not letting that man talk about me behind my back. I'm going. But I'm not happy about it."

Alec walked up to his boyfriend and began rubbing his hands up and down Sebastian's arms, trying to calm him down.

"I'll be right there, Seb. We won't have to stay long. A quick dinner, in and out. But please, do not let this spoil our night tonight, ok?"

Alec watched as Sebastian looked away with a huff before turning back to look at Alec, gradually relaxing under Alec's hands as he moved them up and down his arms. Eventually, he rolled his eyes and spoke.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to put a downer on the night. Let's forget about it for now, ok? Let's get dressed, go and meet everyone, and celebrate your big achievement."

With that, Sebastian kissed Alec quickly and moved away, pulling out some jeans and a shirt from the closet.

Knowing it wasn't forgotten in Sebastian's mind, but appreciative of the way he was trying to let it go for the night, Alec decided to follow his example and moved to find some clothes of his own for the night.

"Hey! There he is! The man of the hour! Congratulations big brother!"

Alec found himself almost knocked down by Jace, practically the second he and Sebastian walked through the door. His sister's hug not far behind, not bothering to wait for Jace to let go before she swung her arms around Alec also.

Forced to let go of Sebastian's hand to keep his balance, Alec held onto his siblings, feeling secure in the love and affection that always surrounded him when he was with them.

"Thanks, guys. Now how about we go find some seats before you pull me down?"

"Sorry, Hermano. Hi Seb," Izzy said with a laugh, wiping a small tear out from under her eye as she stepped back.

“Hey Iz, hi Jace,” Seb returned with a smile.

Jace threw him a smile in greeting while he took a moment longer to hug his brother. After a beat, he stepped back slightly, only to sling an arm around Alec's shoulders and pull him forward to the table where their friends were already seated and waiting for them. As he approached, they all moved forward to congratulate Alec and hug him, Sebastian, following behind with a smile.

Aline reached him first, her girlfriend Helen right behind her. 

"Congrats Cuz. I should have known the day I finish law school, was the day you'd win the most coveted scholarship in the art world," she said with a raised eyebrow.

"You always have to be better than me, don't you?"

"Well, it's not like I really try, you know, Aline. It kinda just happens that way. I mean, it's not hard if I'm honest," he says shrugging a shoulder.

"You arse!!!" She says with a laugh, and then leaning in to give him a big hug, proud of Alec, despite her words. 

It had always been like this between the two of them. With less than a year between the two over-achievers, they had grown up competing with each other and using the other's achievements to challenge themselves to go further. 

Still, there was genuine affection between them, each recognising a like-minded soul and supporting each other in the stresses that come with always trying to prove their worth. 

They had also both come out to their respective parents around the same time, facing similar reactions, though Aline's parents had now both settled into supporting their daughter fully. While Alec's Mum was well on her way, his father was still struggling to accept it. 

As Aline stepped back, her girlfriend Helen stepped up to give her own hug.

"Congratulations, Alec."

"Thanks, Helen."

Alec liked Helen. She and Aline had met the first year of University, Aline studying law and Helen studying nursing. Complete opposites in personality, they were still a perfect match. Helen was a calming influence on Aline and stopped her from being so hard on herself. She also softened Aline's tendency to be so serious and controlled all the time, and Alec enjoyed seeing the peace that had settled over Aline since they had been together.

As they stepped back, Andrew stepped in for a hug too.

"I knew you would get in. No way Raj or I made it, and you didn't."

"Well, you could have told me! I've been miserable all week!" Alec came back at him, laughing.

"Come here," Andrew answered back with a smile. 

With that, the two friends embraced, Alec only stepping back when he heard Sebastian clear his throat behind him. 

With a look back at his boyfriend, Alec once again questioned why the two never bonded, when he loved them both. He knew Sebastian had this ridiculous notion that Andrew secretly liked Alec, but nothing could be further from the truth. 

Being assigned as roommates at the start of University, they had quickly bonded, both being gay and art majors. However, there had never been even a hint of sexual chemistry between them, on either side. 

When Alec had begun dating Sebastian, he had been sure they would get along. However, even as Alec tried to correct Sebastian's misunderstanding, Andrew had never liked Sebastian either, though he had tried for Alec's sake. He continued to keep the peace, but Alec knew that Andrew did not believe Sebastian to be good enough for him. Alec had tried his best to convince them both otherwise, but with no success, had settled for the two of them acting as though they got along.

Maia was next in line for congratulations, giving Alec a hug and a kiss on the cheek before stepping back.

"Can't tell you how relieved I was to hear about the scholarship Alec. That drawing you did of me last year will be worth a lot more when you become a famous artist."

"Glad to know, my success will benefit you, Maia," he said with a laugh. Maia, was Izzy's flatmate and, not being close to her own family, she had adopted Izzy's as her own. Having a complicated relationship with her brother, in particular, she had taken Alec on as her big brother, looking to him for the relationship she would never be able to find with her own. A role Alec was happy to play for her, thoroughly enjoying her sharp wit and her natural smile.

"What else could your success possibly be for, if not to benefit me?" She asked, lightly smacking her hand against his cheek before moving away.

With only one person left at their table to greet him, Alec looked at Lydia, smiling at her as she looked back.

"You might be a big star now handsome, but I have been running around the hospital all day. I'm tired and only just sat down, so if you want a hug, you have to come to me,” the first year intern told him.

With a smile, Alec walked over and leaning his tall frame down, bent over and hugged his oldest friend.

"Hey there Lyds,"

"Hey. I'm proud of you. You deserve this, Alec."

"Thanks," he replied, kissing her cheek before he rose.

Lydia and Alec had been friends since early elementary school, bonding over their love of rules and order. 

As they had grown up, they had briefly attempted a romantic relationship at age 16, Alec rebelling against the growing self-realisation that he was gay. Lydia had merely been trying to appease her romantic mother and find some peace from her constant questions about boys. It had lasted for about six months before Lydia figured out that Alec was gay and confronted him about it. 

After finally admitting it to someone, she had stayed quiet for him and continued the pretence of their romance for a few months more while he gained the courage to come out to Izzy and Jace. As they had both already figured it out and had been waiting for him to tell them, they accepted Alec's news easily. 

Alec and Lydia had then 'ended' their romance and continued along their original path of best friends. Alec wouldn't survive without Lydia. She was able to bully him out of his self-doubts and keep him focused on his successes instead of his failures as he was oft to do. In return, he was able to keep her from her crippling self-judgment and remind her that there was more to life than checking off goals on her ten-year plan.

"How are you doing?" She asked him quietly.

"It's not quite real yet, to be honest. I keep waiting for someone to jump out and yell April Fools."

"It's May Alec. April Fools is over. You worked hard, you stayed focused, and now you have been rewarded for it."

Giving him an understanding smile, she continued, "don't worry, there's still plenty of time before it has to feel real. For now, just enjoy your night."

"Yes, boss," he said with a wink.

"I like it when you call me boss," she said with a satisfied look.

"So do I," Sebastian interrupted, leaning over to kiss Lydia's cheek also.

At that, both Alec and Lydia laughed, and Alec gave his boyfriend another kiss as they sat down at the table and Jace waved down a waitress to order a round for the table.

The next couple of hours were full of smiles and laughter, with the conversation flowing smoothly amongst the close group. The only drag on the night for Alec was watching as Lily, a waitress and co-worker of Maia's who also worked at The Hunter's Moon, was forced to deal with a bunch of drunk assholes, who were beginning to make some inappropriate comments whenever she came close. 

Having known Lily for some time, he knew she was more than capable of dealing with the drunks on her own and had seen her do so on the few times she had joined the group on a night out. Alec was also aware that in a work environment, it was a lot more difficult for Lily to deal with the drunks as they deserved, and not risk her job at the same time.

Alec kept close watch, as having managed to ignore their attention once again, Lily made her way over to their table to check on them. As she came around to Alec's chair, he leaned in closer to her.

"You doing ok? Do you want me to step in?"

With a grateful look, she smiled down at him.

"Nah, I'm good. Thanks, Alec. As long as they keep their hands to themselves, I'm ok. Trust me, I've dealt with much worse."

"That doesn't make it ok, Lily. Where the hell is the manager?" 

Alec looked around for whoever was taking the manager's shift, angry that Lily was being made to deal with this on her own.

"Gerard’s on tonight. He doesn't give a shit what they do, as long as they pay their tab at the end of the night."

Alec looked unhappy at this response.

"If you need me, Lily, I'm right here, ok?"

"Thanks, Alec. I appreciate it. Oh, and hey! I hear congratulations are in order. Always knew you were one of the special ones."

"Yeah, special in the head," Jace interrupted, coming in at the end of the conversation.

"Fuck off, Jace" Alec came back at him, playfully, but not gently, punching his brother in the arm.

"Ow!"

"Wimp," Lily shot at Jace before moving off, throwing a wink at Alec as she did so. 

Sending her one last smile as she moved on, Alec turned his attention back to the conversation at the table, but resolved to keep an eye on her and make sure that someone had her back, should she need it. 

It was a little less than twenty minutes later that Alec's protective instincts went on full alert. Lily had just placed a new round down for the troublesome table when one of the men took his attentions way too far.

"Damn girl, I would love to bend you over this table right now and fuck you. You are fucking hot!" As he finished his statement, he reached out and tried to grab Lily around the waist, trying to pull her into his lap. She managed to evade him, but in doing so stumbled into the table and knocked over one of the glasses.

"Enough!" Alec suddenly roared, everyone in the immediate vicinity jumping in shock. Getting to his feet, Alec made his way over to the drunks table and got right in the face of the offending man.

"One more time. You speak to her like that, just one more time and we are going to have a major problem. Do you understand me?" Despite his initial roar, Alec kept this threat low, and it was all the more intimidating because of it.

"Hey, what the fuck do you care, mate? I've seen you over there, sucking face with your little pansy arse boyfriend. What the fuck does a cock sucker like you want with her anyway? Only thing you fags are good for is getting out of the way so the real men can take the women." As the guy stared belligerently back at Alec, Alec lowered himself to get right in the guys face.

"Cock sucker or not, I am more than capable of knocking you out. Show her some respect, or I'll show you the door."

With that, Alec turned around, to head back to his table, ignoring the mocking laughter the drunk's friends were now directing at their embarrassed comrade.

His senses quickly came alive, though, when he heard the scrape of a chair behind him and simultaneously saw Jace becoming more alert as he watched the goings-on behind Alec. Without hesitation, Alec turned around, and seeing the drunks fist coming at him, calmly grabbed the man by the wrist approaching his face, and twisting it down and in, managed to turn the guy around and slam his upper body into the table he'd just left.

"I did warn you arsehole. You should have left it alone. Now you have a choice. I can let go and let you walk out of here on your own with some of your dignity intact, or I can forcibly move you out, and your friends can watch as the gay cocksucker completely dominates you. Which is it?"

As the man hesitated, Alec applied a little more pressure to his wrist, pushing him harder against the table as he waited for a response.

"I'll leave on my own," the man grunted. 

"Now get off me."

"Good choice," said Alec, before letting go and stepping back, without turning his back to the man. The rest of the bar was completely silent as they continued watching the free show happening in front of them.

Red from the alcohol and embarrassment of having been taken down by Alec, the man stood up and began storming his way to the door. As the rest of the drunk's friends, began to stand up to leave too, they warily kept an eye on Alec as they did so. Before they left, Alec gave them a hard look before reminding them.

"Don't forget to pay your tab and tip your waitress boys. She's earned it dealing with you lot all night."

The men threw some cash down on the table with words of "Sure thing mate" and "no harm meant" mumbled under their breath.

Once Alec was sure they were indeed leaving, he turned to Lily and checked in on her.

"My hero," she came at him cheekily, before a smile softened her face and she leaned in and hugged him.

"Thanks, Alec, I would've lost my job if I'd tried that."

"You need to report your manager. He should never let it have gotten that far. Where the hell is he anyway?" Alec asked, looking around.

"Probably hiding out in his office. As I said, he doesn't care."

"Another arsehole," Alec said. 

With one last hug, Lily returned to the bar to continue her work and Alec came back to his table, while the rest of the bar, losing interest, turned away.

"All hail the returning hero," Jace called out as Alec sat back down.

"Yeah, and where the hell were you Jace?" Alec shot back.

"Oh please, the day you need my help dealing with that pack of losers is the day Izzy comes to me for fashion advice."

With that comment, the whole table began laughing, knowing that Izzy was the definition of a fashionista and would rather die than come to either of her brothers' for fashion advice.

"On a serious note, Izzy and I were both on standby to step in if you needed it, Alec, but you more than had control of the situation."

"Sending Izzy in might have been a step too far. They were absolutely arseholes, but I'm not sure they deserved to die," Alec replied, at which all the females at the table called out "yes they did!" before sharing an understanding look amongst themselves.

As everyone at the table began to return to their previous conversations, Sebastian leaned over to check in on Alec. 

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, Seb, I'm fine".

"Good. You looked hot, taking him down like that."

"Oh yeah? Maybe you can show me how hot you found me when we get home then," Alec replied with a smile.

"You're on, tough guy."

At that, Alec was pulled back into a conversation with Lydia, as Sebastian resumed discussing the final test he and Aline had both sat that afternoon.

A little over an hour later, the gang began to make their way outside, still laughing and talking as they stepped out the door.

"There's our Uber. I'll wait by the car while you say your long goodbyes to everyone," Sebastian said with a laugh, knowing Alec's penchant for dragging out time with his siblings and friend's. "Izzy, Jace, I shall undoubtedly be seeing you tomorrow night. Bye, everyone!" 

With that, Sebastian gave them a mock bow and turned to greet their Uber driver.

"We're out too," said Aline. Aline turned to give Alec one last hug, then Helen, before they turned to the others to say goodbye, their car parked just down the street, the reason neither woman had had more than a glass or two throughout the night.

"Night," replied Alec, before he turned to see everyone else making their own arrangements to get home. Izzy and Maia were planning on taking the subway with Jace, their two share houses quite close by to each other, while Lydia, who had also driven and limited herself to one glass, was turning to Andrew to see if he wanted a ride back to his place.

"That'd be great! Thank's Lyd's." 

At that, both turned to hug Alec again, congratulating him once more and making plans to catch up after the weekend.

Smiling goodbye to his friends, Alec turned back to his siblings, while Lydia and Andrew said goodbye to Maia.

"I'll see you two tomorrow night right?" Alec asked Jace and Izzy.

"We'll be there," Jace replied as Izzy murmured her ascent. With a last hug before leaving, Alec called out to them as he began to back away.

"Ok, I better go then, before Sebastian leaves without me."

At that, Izzy, Jace, Maia, Andrew and Lydia smiled and waved goodbye to Alec, no one seeing the shadow moving in the alley next to the bar, about to block the path between Alec and Sebastian.

Alec turned with a smile to join his boyfriend at the car, noticing too late the pipe being swung at him as he did so, the drunk from earlier, stepping out of the alley to exact his revenge on Alec. 

He noticed too late to stop him but managed to raise his arm to block part of the blow to his skull. Alec wasn't even aware of what he was trying to deflect. Still, he immediately became aware of the excruciating pain that suddenly erupted in his shattered hand a brief moment before it echoed in his skull, both body parts sharing the impact and the unimaginable agony of the blow. 

Alec was aware of nothing but the pain until it became too much, and his body sunk to the ground, and his mind granting him the blessing of unconsciousness.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec’s loved ones react in the immediate aftermath on the attack on Alec.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi All,   
> In this chapter I just wanted to give a little heads up for possible triggers.   
> * Descriptions of injuries due to trauma  
> * Minor mention of inappropriate treatment of hospital staff (It is small and immediately rectified - But don’t ever do it!)  
> * Coarse language
> 
> Last thing - I am in no way a medical expert, so there may be errors in the medical details over the next few chapters, and for that I apologise. I did my best to research and get as much right as possible, but if you see something glaringly wrong, please let me know.

“Alec!” Izzy screamed, as she watched the homophobic drunk from earlier continue to swing at her brother, connecting with his shoulder and then his back, even as Alec crumpled down to the ground in front of him. In horror, she ran to Alec’s side, vaguely aware of other movements around her, of Jace and Andrew tackling the drunk to the ground as other’s ran forward, even as he moved to strike Alec again. Still, all her focus remained on Alec, who wasn’t moving.

“Izzy! Is he ok?” Jace called out frantically, panic making his voice seem harsher than usual. “Is he breathing, Izzy?” He demanded again when she had not yet replied.

“I don’t know,” she answered, barely loud enough for anyone to hear.

“Alec?” Izzy whispered as she knelt beside her brother, frantically looking for signs of life.

As she reached over to touch his face, wanting to see the flicker of his eyes as they opened, she gasped when instead, she felt sticky warmth on her hand. Drawing it away, she looked in horror at the amount of blood now covering it after the small contact she had made, the obscene flashing neon lights from the sign behind her lighting it grotesquely, somehow making her feel trapped in one of the horror movies she so loved.

Desperately wanting this particular horror to stop, she moved more frantically over Alec, about to pull him to her, when Lydia suddenly stopped her, grabbing her by the arm. Looking up at her in anger, Izzy was about to scream at her when Lydia cut her off.

“Don’t move him, Izzy, we don’t know how bad his injuries are!” She said sternly.

“What are you talking about??? He’s bleeding! He’s hurt! We have to get him to the hospital!”

“Izzy,” Lydia says calmly, looking straight at Izzy to make sure Izzy heard what she was saying, “He was hit on the head and along his back and neck. We don’t know what sort of damage he suffered to his spine or his skull. We don’t want to aggravate it, ok?”

Izzy took a deep breath as she realised that Lydia, a med student, was trying to help Alec. If Izzy had been thinking clearly, she would’ve realised this immediately, but as Alec’s blood began to spread into the knees of her pants where she kneeled by his head, she found herself unable to bring rational thought to her mind.

With a sigh and a determination that would’ve made Alec swell with pride had he seen it, she steeled herself for what was to come. Turning away from Lydia to once again look down at Alec, Izzy was able to speak in a calmer voice.

“What do you want me to do?”

“I want you just to stay here and talk to him. He’s unconscious, but he might still have some awareness, and he’s going to be hurting. Hold his hand and talk to him. Keep him calm.”

As Izzy nodded and reached for her brother’s hand, Lydia began directing everyone else around them, causing Izzy to remember for the first time since she had seen Alec struck, that friends and family surrounded them.

“Helen, find something to hold against his head. Try to stem that bleeding. Aline call an ambulance, tell them you have a critical patient with likely cranial fractures and possible spinal damage, unconscious with shallow but steady breaths, understand?” Lydia instructed, both girls having been drawn back by everyone’s screams.

As Helen knelt beside Izzy, holding her jacket to the side of Alec’s head, Izzy began looking around at what everyone else was doing, as Lydia continued to bark out orders.

“Maia! Andrew! Hold him down and shut him up! Sebastian, keep Jace away from him before he kills him!”

Izzy looked up and saw that Maia had replaced Jace in holding the offensive drunk down who was still screaming homophobic slurs between his threats at the two holding him roughly on the ground.

As she looked around, Izzy saw Sebastian holding Jace off the man with difficulty and realised that Jace, in his anger, must have gotten physical in retaliation. Sebastian was now trying to hold Jace away, while at the same time looking frantically over his shoulder trying to keep watch on Alec.

“Aline, make sure to tell them to send police to get that piece of shit away from us!” Lydia yelled, her composure finally starting to break, before she took a deep breath and turned back to Alec, gently running her hands along his body. Her fingers gently probed along his neck and shoulder, before moving down to check for responses, first at his hands, and then at his feet. Izzy watched Lydia’s examination with a worried expression, as Aline continued to talk to the 911 operator in the background.

“Is he ok?” Jace asked, Sebastian finally able to calm him enough so that the two boys could approach Alec.

Izzy felt her heart jump in her throat and her stomach drop at the worried look Lydia shared with Helen, before turning to the three frantic faces in front of her.

“I don’t know yet,” she said gently. “He’s lost a lot of blood, but head wounds bleed, and Helen seems to be getting it under control, so that’s positive.”

“What aren’t you saying, Lydia?” Izzy asked in a trembly voice.

“He took a heavy blow to the head, Iz,” Lydia said gently. “There’s a good chance it’s done some damage, especially seeing how quickly he lost consciousness. Also, you’re holding his left hand, but his right is badly broken. I don’t know if it’s going to be repairable, not to mention any other injuries he has that we can’t see yet. His breathing’s getting weaker and he’s not in a good way,” she said carefully.

With horror, Izzy looked down at the hand closest to Jace, on the other side of Alec from where she was kneeling, seeing Jace and Sebastian do the same thing.

The more she looked at it, the more she realised how wrong it looked.

It was already starting to swell, and that puffiness alone looked unnatural, but as the trio watched, they all began noticing more. The way that Alec’s fingers were sitting at odd angles, how the back of Alec’s hand had a distinct indentation running slightly diagonal across it, visible despite the swelling and bruising already appearing.

“He won’t be able to draw anymore,” Sebastian murmured in a sad, lost voice.

With a growl, Jace turned to Sebastian.

“Who the fuck cares if he can’t fucking draw! He could fucking die! Do you get that! He could fucking die!”

“Alec will care!” Sebastian screamed back, spittle flicking out onto Jace’s angry face.

“Alec will fucking care that he can’t draw, Jace! Alec will!”

As Sebastian took a shaky breath, he continued, no longer screaming but with a hardness to his tone.

“And don’t say he could die. He’s not going to die. He is the strongest person I know, and no homophobic fucker is taking down Alec Lightwood, so shut the fuck up with your dying talk, alright!”

At this, Jace looked around Alec’s still body, looking, for all the world, like a lost child, unable to find the one who was meant to be caring for him. Unfortunately for Jace, at times like this, Alec was the only one he would take comfort from, and right now, Alec was too busy fighting for his life to offer his brother any support.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Jace mumbled in Sebastian’s direction as he gripped onto Alec’s jacket with his hands.

“You’re right. He’s going to be fine,” Jace continued and with a small breath that only Izzy was able to hear, he whispered, “he has to be.”

Maia and Andrew approached the group, just as they heard the ambulance finally arrive. Izzy looked over to find a group of patrons from the bar, now holding the drunk down. Izzy assumed they must have been drawn out by the noise.

As the ambulance pulled up to the kerb, Izzy saw a police car coming in not far behind it, and judging by the siren she could still hear, she guessed there was yet another coming behind that.

As the first paramedic approached, Izzy, moved back to make room for him as Lydia began relaying information, the paramedic listening and asking questions while he started his own assessment.

As Izzy listened and watched, the second paramedic arrived and began pulling out wires and tubes from the large bag that he had carried over, and after cutting Alec’s shirt, started attaching electrodes to his chest. While all of this was happening, Izzy had gone to move down by Alec’s feet, her hand gently resting on his leg, needing to touch him to reassure herself that he was still here.

Izzy tried to keep track of the conversations around her, but her mind drifted, despite herself.

All those times when she was a child, after she had gotten into one scrape or another, most her fault, Alec had been the one to clean her up and kiss her better, despite being barely a year older.

Their parents hadn’t been around for a lot of their early years. By the time they were, Izzy had transferred her love of a parent to Alec.

She had slowly over the years built a good relationship with both her parents. However, it was still Alec that Izzy instinctively reached out to whenever she was hurt, scared or excited, and looking for parental love and support.

Now, it was her turn to be there for him, and God help her, she didn’t know if she was strong enough. She knew she would rather die though than let him down, and with that thought, she once again focused on the words and actions of the paramedics in front of her, both working hard to save her brother.

___________________________________________________________________

At the approach of the paramedics, Jace watched as Izzy and Sebastian both moved back, though only enough to let the men in before finding a spot around Alec again. Jace however, refused to leave his brother, even for a second. Instead, at Helen’s urging, he had moved along and taken over holding the jacket to Alec’s head. As she stepped back, Jace, with as much care as he could, pressed the material against Alec’s head and leaned his face down to whisper in his brother’s ear, blocking out the sound and movements of everyone around him and focusing purely on Alec.

“You’re going to be ok, Alec. You hear me? You’re going to be ok. You can’t leave us, Alec. No way any of us survive if you leave us.”

With a sob, Jace broke off for a second, before swallowing it down and continuing to whisper reassurances in his brother’s ear. He focused on trying to send him all the strength he had in his body, only moving slightly to the side when one of the paramedics wanted to dress the wound on Alec’s head for the trip to the hospital.

Jace wasn’t sure how much time had passed when the paramedics began packing things up and making plans to transport Alec to the hospital.

“I’m coming with you,” Jace insisted, looking up at the paramedic nearest him. Jace watched as the paramedic opened his mouth to protest before stopping to look at Jace’s set face.

“Ok, you can come. But you need to sit up front with Bobby. Your brother’s got a lot of injuries, and I’m going to need room to work if I have to try to stabilise him on transport. You good with that?” The paramedic said, his tone telling Jace in no uncertain terms, that this was the only way he would be allowed to accompany them.

Jace nodded and at the paramedic’s directions, stepped away so that they could load Alec on a stretcher, before stepping close again to walk Alec to the back of the van.

“Jace!”

Jace looked back at his sister, seeing the worry he felt echoed on her face, and he stepped away briefly to give her a strong and desperate hug.

“He’s going to be ok, Iz. I’ll ride with him and meet you at the hospital, ok?”

Izzy nods silently at him, tears rolling down her cheeks and grasping his shirt desperately. Jace looked up at Lydia with a pleading look on his face. She nodded and stepped forward, gently pulling Izzy’s hands off of Jace.

“Come on, Izzy. I’ll drive you and Sebastian to the hospital, and we’ll meet them there, ok?”

At that, Izzy let go, while Sebastian stepped forward to quickly hug Jace, whispering in his ear as he did so.

“Take care of him, ok? Tell him I love him for me?”

“I will. I’ll see you all there.”

At this, one of the police officers, who had been taking notes through the paramedics’ care of Alec while another two took statements from witnesses, began to talk to the distraught group.

Jace had seen briefly two other officers arrest and take the homophobic prick away in the back of a car but had barely focused on it at the time, his thoughts only with his brother. Now he stopped to look at the officer talking to them.

“We’ll need to get witness statements from all of you too. Due to the circumstances, we’ll follow you to the hospital and collect them there, ok?”

“Yeah, sure,” Jace replied, looking behind him.

“Look I gotta go before they leave without me. Iz, I’ll see you there, alright!” He said, before racing off to climb into the front of the ambulance without another thought.

As he climbed into his seat, he looked over the back to see Alec on the bed behind him, still and pale, while the paramedic began entering information into the small computer in front of his own chair.

“Seatbelt,” Bobby said.

Confused, Jace turned to the paramedic sitting next to him.

“Seatbelt,” Bobby repeated.

“David is taking care of your brother, but I need you to buckle up so we can move. I am not going to be stopping for red lights if I can help it,” Bobby says gently.

Finally coming to his senses, Jace reaches up and grabs his seatbelt, it’s click sounding loud in his ears, though rationally he knew it was relatively soft.

“Davie, you ready?” Bobby calls back.

“Let’s go!” They hear from the back, at which Bobby turns the key and activates the siren. With a check of traffic and a final look in the mirror to the back, Bobby pulls out and sets them on what would be, despite the speed allowed by the lights and siren, the longest ride of Jace’s life.

___________________________________________________________________

Sebastian watched as the ambulance drove away, fear clawing at his gut that watching Alec get loaded into the back of the ambulance was the last time he would see him alive.

“Sebastian?”

Looking around for the source of the voice, he saw Maia standing at his side, gently holding his elbow.

“Lydia’s driving Izzy and I to the hospital. Aline and Helen are taking Andrew. Do you want to come with us?”

Numbly, Sebastian nodded, letting Maia guide him over to Lydia’s car. When they arrived, Izzy pulled him into a hug and spoke into his ear.

“He’s going to be ok, Sebastian. He’s going to be ok.”

Sebastian buried his head into Isabelle’s neck, nodding at her words, the two drawing comfort from each other. After a moment, they let go of each other and climbed into the car, Lydia and Maia waiting patiently for them. Not another word spoken between them as they began the drive.

As they sat in the back of the car together, Izzy tightly grasped his hand, her fingers tight around his. Sebastian gripped hers just as tightly in return, his thoughts running chaotically in his head. He couldn’t shake the image of Alec dropping to the ground, his body crumpling under the attack of the pipe and the drunk who had wielded it.

Sebastian had had relationships before Alec, though never anything serious or long-lasting, nor had he hadn’t wanted anything else.

When Aline had first introduced him to her cousin, Sebastian had been sure that this relationship would be more of the same. Alec had been painfully inexperienced in the art of romance when they had first met, and that combined with Alec’s devastating good looks had drawn Sebastian’s attention.

Alec hadn’t made it easy, either. While flattered by Sebastian’s apparent interest, he had not been confident about stepping into the dating pool fully, despite having come out to his friends and siblings. Sebastian had loved the challenge, however, and had never given up. He had never expected to get caught himself, though.

He and Alec had been dating for around three months when Sebastian realised he was falling hard and fast and was not willing to let Alec go.

He had held onto his feelings for another few months, nervous about admitting how enraptured he was, when Alec had beaten him to the punch. One night, while eating dinner at Sebastian’s place, Alec had looked up at him and said, “I love you.” Sebastian’s breath had momentarily been stolen until he was able to recover and return the words to Alec.

Their relationship had progressed quickly after that, moving in together just weeks before their first anniversary, almost six months ago. It had been the happiest time of Sebastian’s life, and he had recently been entertaining thoughts of he and Alec growing old together.

The only downside to their time together had been their interactions with Alec’s parents.

Though Alec loved them both, Sebastian had no time for either of them. He supposed, if forced, he would say that Maryse was ok. She obviously did not like his relationship with Alec, but she had always made an effort to be polite to him nonetheless.

His father, Robert, had been something else entirely. He barely looked at Sebastian any time they were forced to be in the same space, and if he did, it was only to give him an angry look and make some disparaging remark about Sebastian or his relationship with his son.

Sebastian would have been happy if they never had had to interact with them again, but Alec had been determined to see the best in them.

Despite all that though, Sebastian knew he loved Alec and would begrudgingly suffer Robert and Maryse if it meant that he could be with Alec.

Now he felt the fear burning through him that he was going to lose him.

He was still playing the image of Alec crumpling over and over in his head when they pulled up to the hospital. Lydia dropped them off at the front before going to look for parking, saying she would meet them inside. Izzy and Maia hurried into the emergency room with him, where they all began frantically looking around for signs of Alec or Jace. They didn’t have to wait long before they heard Jace yelling just around a corner.

“I’m not trying to cause trouble! I just want to know if my brother’s ok. And you’re not telling me anything!”

“Jace!” Izzy screamed, racing to her brother’s side.

“Izzy!” He turned, urgently pulling his sister into a hug.

“Is he ok? Where is he?” She said, looking around, trying to spot Alec, much as Sebastian was doing.

Jace had tears rolling down his face as he answered her.

“I don’t know, Izzy! He started fitting or something just as we pulled up to the hospital, and they rushed him inside and through those doors and wouldn’t let me follow,” he said, pointing at some double doors just meters away from them before he continued.

“I’ve been trying to find out what’s happening, but no one can tell me anything.”

Izzy and Sebastian turned to the nurse in front of them, while Maia stood back. Lydia came running in, Aline, Helen and Andrew just behind her.

“As I was just telling your friend here,” the nurse began, “His brother arrived in a critical state, and after a brief assessment was taken into the trauma area, which is closed off to family members. He will be stabilised there and then moved as needed. We, at this stage, don’t know what the next step is, but as soon as we know, we will let you know.”

With a stern look at Jace, she said, “yelling at me or anyone else in this department is not going to change anything or give your brother any better treatment.”

Sebastian looked on as Jace dropped his head before looking up at the nurse again.

“I’m sorry, truly, I am. If Alec was here, he’d be yelling at me instead. I’m just scared.”

“I understand. Why don’t you all wait here and I’ll try to find out some more details,” the nurse said gently.

“Thank you,” Izzy said, echoed by Jace and Sebastian before the trio were gently led by their friends, to some chairs nearby.

They all sat in silence, for a minute before Aline spoke up.

“Has anyone called Robert and Maryse? I can do it if you want.”

Sebastian wanted to protest, nothing able to make his night worse than Robert and Maryse, but he knew he had no right to refuse Alec’s parents the knowledge that their son was lying beaten and broken in the hospital.

“I haven’t called them,” Izzy replied. “You, Jace?”

“No, I haven’t even thought of it. Shit!”

“It’s ok. I’ll call them. You both just sit here,” Aline replied, and stepping away with Helen.

After a few minutes, Maia leaned in and asked if she could get anyone anything. Sebastian shook his head minutely, Izzy and Jace doing their same.

“Maybe some coffee, Maia. I think it’s going to be a long night,” Lydia responded.

“I’ll come help, Maia,” Andrew said, getting to his feet.

“I’ll help too,” said Helen, just as she and Aline returned.

“You’ll be alright, babe?” She asked Aline before stepping away, concern clear on her face for her girlfriend.

Aline reached out and touched Helen’s face.

“I’ll be ok, babe. Hurry back, ok?”

“I will.”

At that, Helen, Andrew and Maia walked away to find some coffee, desperate to be helpful in a helpless situation.

“Robert and Maryse are on their way in. They’re pretty upset, so I told them to take a taxi rather than try to drive,” Aline told them.

“Thanks, Aline,” Izzy said, smiling slightly in response, before turning back to look blankly forward, one arm linked with Sebastian’s and the hand of her other arm, tightly grasped in Jace’s.

Almost ten minutes later, Maia, Helen and Andrew returned carrying coffee’s for everyone, as well as a few crisps and snacks from the vending machine. They had just distributed everything around when the nurse from before approached them.

“So I just got an update. We’re going to move you all to a private waiting room in a little while, ok? We’re just waiting for a free orderly to take you through.”

“What’s happening with Alec?” Sebastian quickly rushed in.

“Can I ask who you are?” She asked gently.

“I’m his boyfriend. We live together. This is his brother and sister, this is his cousin, and these are our friends. Now, how’s Alec?” He asked insistently, his voice having risen more and more as he had gone on.

“Alec has been rushed into surgery,” the nurse said gently.

“Upon examination, the doctors found that Alec has suffered a cranial fracture, which has caused significant trauma to his brain. The doctors have taken him into surgery where they are preparing to remove a section of his skull to alleviate pressure caused by swelling. He has some soft tissue damage to his back and neck which will need to be monitored, but his reflexes are good and seem to be responsive, so that’s a good sign. He has also suffered significant trauma to his right hand, which the doctors are planning to address once they have his head trauma under control, however at the moment, his cranial damage has taken priority. The waiting room we will be moving you to, is connected to the surgical unit, and the nursing staff there will continue to keep you updated, ok?”

At the news, they all sat a little shell shocked for a minute before the orderly came over to escort them. As they all stand up, Izzy stops and turns back to the nurse for a moment.

“Our parents are on their way also. Robert and Maryse Lightwood. Can you tell them where to find us, please?”

“Of course,” the nurse said.

With that, the large group moved away, following the orderly, desperately holding onto each other, unable to believe the horrific turn of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to reassure people that Magnus is coming! I promise. I know there are quite a few people worried about Alec’s relationship with Sebastian. I promise with everything in me that no matter what I am writing now, Magnus is not far away in this story. Alec will be single when they meet, as I hate cheating and won’t write my favourite boys doing that. Just hang on for a little while longer. Please 🙏.  
> As always, I welcome constructive criticism, but please be kind.  
> Comments and kudo’s are always welcome and wonderfully encouraging.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert and Maryse arrive at the hospital and tensions ensue, and we get a look back at some significant moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up for possible triggers in this chapter.  
> Mentions of  
> * Homophobic behaviour and language  
> * Child abuse and neglect  
> * Medical conditions and procedures  
> Everyone please take note of the warnings, as I don’t want to take anyone by surprise.  
> Other than that, please everyone enjoy the new update.

"Excuse me, our son, Alec Lightwood, was brought into the emergency room tonight. He was attacked. Can you tell us where he is? Is he alright?"

The group looked up, hearing the frantic words of Robert Lightwood out in the hallway.

"Dad? Mum?" Isabelle called out as she stood. Coming around the corner, Robert and Maryse suddenly appeared. Their youngest son Max was walking behind them, trying to look brave, but the understandable fear he felt for his brother creeping out despite his efforts.

"Isabelle," Robert called out, walking towards her. Jace also stood as their parents sprinted towards them before pulling their children into a desperate and bone-crushing hug. Pulling back after a minute, Robert began to ask questions of his children. At the same time, Maryse reached out among the three in front of her, as though reassuring herself of their safety while she waited to hear news on the fate of her oldest.

"How is he? What's happening?" Robert repeated his questions from earlier, his head turning from Izzy and Jace to the nurse who had followed them into the room.

"He's in surgery, Dad. They have to remove part of his skull because his brain was swelling," Izzy choked out, while Jace stood stricken beside her.

At this news, Maryse, choked down a sob as she began to sink to the ground, her actions almost an eerie echo of Alec's earlier in the night. This broke Jace's frozen form as he reached out to support the woman who had taken on the role of his mother when his own had been lost to him. Robert, in contrast, seemed to have inherited Jace's frozen state upon hearing Izzy's news, only moving when he saw Jace had grabbed hold of Maryse and then helped to move his wife to one of the chairs, before sinking into the seat beside her.

"Mr and Mrs Lightwood?"

Robert jerked his head up as the nurse who had followed them into the room, began speaking to them. Maryse desperately tried to hold down another sob as she too looked up, a kind of pleading look on her face, as if begging the nurse to contradict Izzy's prior statement.

"My name is Barbra, I am one of the nurses here in the trauma unit, and I will be the person tonight keeping you updated on your son Alec until one of his doctors can come out and speak to you."

As she paused to make sure that Robert and Maryse were able to focus on what she was saying, Barbra noticed that everyone else had gathered close again also, hoping to hear just a tiny bit of new information on their loved one. As Robert and Maryse nodded and motioned for her to continue, Barbra began to let them know everything she knew so far about their son's condition.

"Alec arrived in our emergency department tonight with multiple injuries suffered during a beating. He was seizing on arrival, but the emergency doctors were quickly able to treat this and end the seizure with medication. They then began focusing on his other injuries. He has two significant injuries that the doctors are concerned about, and thankfully everything else seems to be soft tissue bruising and minor abrasions. The first injury they are concerned with which is taking precedence is the damage to his skull."

Gesturing to Jace, Barbra continued. "According to your son, Alec was hit with a metal pipe to his skull. Though deflected somewhat by his hand, it did cause your son to suffer a traumatic brain injury."

At this Maryse, once again began crying. As tears silently ran down her face, she squeezed her eyes shut as if to block out the nurse's words. After giving them a moment, Barbra continued.

"The injury to Alec's brain has caused swelling and some internal bleeding to occur inside your son's skull. To treat this, his doctors are performing a craniectomy, which essentially means they are removing a section of your son's skull to decrease the pressure on his brain. This will also allow them to find the source of the bleeding and treat it. This is the surgery that is occurring right now," she said in a firm and calm voice, well-practised in the need to reassure nervous and scared families.

"You said there were two significant injuries?" Maryse said softly, speaking for the first time since she had arrived.

"Yes," Barbra continued. "The second is the damage done to your son's hand."

"Which hand?" Maryse jumped in quickly to ask. Upon hearing that it was his right hand, she again bit back a sob.

After checking that Maryse was ok for her to continue, Barbra let them know more about Alec's hand injury.

"As I mentioned before, according to what your son," again gesturing toward Jace, "was able to tell us, Alec partially blocked the blow to the skull with his hand. The result of this, however, is it seems that Alec has multiple fractures to his hand, including some crush injuries. For now, the ortho surgeon is working to clean around the injuries and remove any loose bone fragments that may cause further damage. Still, she will need to wait a few days to do anything further, due to the delicate and serious nature of Alec's head injury."

"What will she have to go back to do? I don't understand? Can't she just set the bones? How many surgeries can my boy have?" Robert asked, his voice breaking at the end, showing just how small the control he had over himself was.

"As I mentioned, some of the injuries include bones that were crushed. Some bones can simply be aligned back into place, but others will need further support."

"Like?" Maryse asks softly.

The nurse takes a moment before answering.

"I'm not a specialist in this area. Pins and plates to support bones are an option, as are bone grafts to help promote bone stability and fuse good bone together. His surgeon will be able to talk to you more about that when she comes to see you."

"I see. Thank you, Barbra" Maryse says softly, while beside her, Robert nods his thanks.

"Is there any other questions I can answer for you? Or anything I can do to help you before I step back to the desk?"

"No, thank you," Robert says, before reconsidering, "Oh, yes, how much longer do you think he'll be in surgery for?"

"It'll be at least another four to five hours yet," she says gently.

"Ok, thank you."

As Barbra walks out, silence settles over the room once again. Maryse holds fast to Max beside her and Jace, still squatting in front of her, while Izzy sits on her father's other side. He puts his arm around her as she cries quietly into his side, Robert's other arm rubbing Maryse's back reassuringly. Not wanting to intrude on the family, the other's gather in different areas around the room, moving away slightly now there is no more news to hear.

For twenty minutes, there is barely a sound in the room, except for some quiet sobs from Maryse and Izzy, and the occasional sniffle or quiet word from the others. The silence is finally broken by the arrival of two of the police officers from earlier in the night. As they step into the room and introduce themselves, everyone seems to gather close again.

"We're going to need witness statements from everyone who was present tonight," says the one who introduced himself as Officer Peters.

"Do you need us separately or . . . "Jace's voice drifts off into a question.

"For now, we can take a group statement. We can come back to get individual statements from you all at another time if we have any further questions. I'm sure you want to stay focused together on Mr Lightwood's health tonight."

With that, the two officers led the young group of friends to a quieter corner of the room to begin asking questions. They started with the events inside the bar and then moved to what happened outside. As they went, Robert drifted over to listen carefully to what had caused his son to be in his current condition, while Maryse tried her best to keep Max distracted and to keep him from hearing the details of what had occurred.

As Robert listened to the events of the night told by his children and their friends, he visibly became paler and seemed to almost age before their eyes. As they were finishing up, he weakly shuffled his way back to Maryse and sat.

Once the officers finished collecting everyone's statements, they rose and began walking to the door. Before they could reach it though, Jace stopped them.

"What's happening with the guy who attacked Alec?"

At this, everyone looked up at the officers, waiting to hear what was being done to the man who had caused so much damage.

"He's been arrested and booked for now," Officer Peters told them.

"When the sun is up, the case will be sent to the District Attorney's office who will more than likely press for second degree attempted murder, from what we've gathered so far.

There will be an arraignment after that where the charges will be formally filed, and depending on how Mr Whitelaw pleads will determine if it goes to trial or is quickly settled.

There is a chance it'll get pled down to first-degree assault and battery to secure a guilty plea and verdict, but that may be unnecessary due to the number of witnesses and the security footage we've acquired.

The attorney assigned to the case will be able to tell you more. They should be in contact in the coming days."

"Ok. Thank you, Officer," Robert says quietly.

As the officers' say their goodbyes and step out, silence settles over the group again, before Robert looks around to speak.

"We appreciate you all staying, but perhaps it's best if you all go home now. I'm sure you're all tired, and they'll only let family in when Alec comes out of surgery anyway. We'll keep in touch and let you know how he is."

"Ok, Uncle Robert," says Aline. "You'll let us know if you need anything?"

"Yes, thank you, Aline," Robert responds with a brief smile at his wife's niece.

"Ok. Andrew, Maia, Sebastian, do you want a lift home?" Lydia asks as Aline and Helen begin hugging the Lightwood's goodbye.

"I'm staying," Sebastian stated, as Andrew and Maia both accepted her offer.

At this, Robert's face hardened slightly.

"There's no need for you to stay," he told Sebastian.

"Go home and get some rest and Jace or Izzy will call you later in the day to let you know how Alec is. Maybe you can come to visit him then," Robert continued.

"Robert-"Maryse began before Sebastian jumped in angrily.

"Do you really think I'm going to leave Alec to go home and sleep? You might like to stick your head in the sand Robert and pretend I don't exist and that Alec is straight, but I am not going away, just because you want me to!"

At this, Robert stood to his full height, one of the few physical traits Alec had inherited from his father.

"Don't you speak to me like that!" Robert yelled at Sebastian.

"I'll speak to you any God damn way I chose! I love Alec, and he loves me, and if you think for one second I'm leaving him you have another thing coming! Why don't you leave! It's what you're good at! It's what you've wanted to do ever since he told you he's gay! Alec knows how disappointed you are to have him as a son, and he fucking hates you for it!"

"Sebastian!" Izzy yelled, shocked.

"Don't talk to him like that! That's not true!" Yelled Max, speaking for the first time all night to defend his father.

Robert's face meanwhile had gone red with anger, and as he took a step towards Sebastian, Jace stepped in between them.

"Dad, don't. Let's just sit down, ok? Everyone's upset. Let's just sit."

Robert let Jace lead him back to his wife and younger son, both of whom were angrily looking back at Sebastian. As Robert sat, Jace got up and strode back over to Sebastian.

"You're upset, which is why I stopped him from coming over here and knocking you out. I think there's been enough violence tonight. But!" Jace continued, "If you ever speak to Robert like that again, you and I are going to have a very different relationship going forward. Is that understood?"

At Sebastian's nod, Jace relaxed slightly and backed off.

"He was wrong to suggest you go home Seb," Jace told him. "Alec will want you here when he comes to, we all know that. Right now, tensions are very high though, so do me a favour and do not pick a fight with our parents. I know they haven't always treated you well, but they love Alec desperately, and he knows that. He won't thank you for making things more tense between you."

"I know, Jace. I'm sorry," Sebastian said.

"I'm just tired and angry and scared. And Robert does not make it easy to keep the peace."

"I know. We are all just going to have to try a little harder to get along, though, for Alec's sake. He's going to need us to be there for him if he's going to get past this, not at each other's throats."

Sebastian nodded tiredly and sat in a chair, some metres away from the elder Lightwoods and sank into his own thoughts, not realising Robert was doing the same thing on the other side of the room.

___________________________________________________________________

No matter how much he tried, Robert could not get Sebastian's words out of his head. The thought that his son, whose life was hanging in the balance in this very hospital, now hated him, filled him with horror and self-loathing. He hadn't taken the news that his son was gay well, he knew that. When Alec had told Maryse and himself, Robert had only been able to hear the words of his father echoing through his mind as he had rejected his son. That night was the greatest shame of his life, and he would be forever grateful that his wife had turned on him along with Jace and Izzy and demanded that he accept Alec or it would be him that was pushed out of the family, not Alec. Every echo of that night was instantly recalled to him now as he fought against the idea that he had left it too late to repair his relationship with his son, that Alec would be forever lost to him.

_Three years ago . . ._

_Robert walked into his house, wanting nothing more than a good two fingers of scotch and a relaxing night with his family. It had been a long day at the end of a long week at his office, and for now, he just wanted to forget work for a few hours. As he entered the family room, however, he thought he might have to put his relaxing night aside. Briefly, he wondered if Maryse was angry at him for missing dinner yet again, but he couldn't imagine that that was the case. If he had called last minute, or simply not shown up, then, yes, absolutely she would be furious. However, he had let her know that morning before he had even left for the office what his day would be like and that he wouldn't make it home, so that wasn't it. Looking closer at his wife, she didn't actually seem mad, more, tense. She had also given him nothing more than a brief smile in greeting before redirecting her attention back to their children, all of whom were sitting down, in what could only be described as nervous anticipation. Except for Alec, who seemed to be looking down to his lap, fear and nerves clear in his body language._

_In contrast, Jace and Izzy sat on either side of Alec, and while also displaying nervousness, showed a sort of defiant strength. Max, their youngest, was sitting in an armchair, his small frame almost swallowed by the plushness of the chair. He alone seemed immune to the nervousness in the room and instead seemed to be sitting in what appeared to be puzzlement at its heavy tone._

_"Hi Dad," Max said, flashing him a smile._

_"Hi, Max," he replied, looking around the room. "What's going on?" He asked the room at large._

_"Alec has something to tell us apparently. He wanted to wait until you got home so he could speak to us together," Maryse told him, giving him a brief concerned glance, before redirecting her attention back to their three oldest._

_"Perhaps now, you'll want to tell us what is going on? I'm not going to lie. The three of you have built this up so much that I am more than a little nervous."_

_"There's nothing to be nervous about Mum. Alec just wanted to tell you guys something, but it's nothing bad," Jace said._

_"Maybe you should explain that to Alec then," Maryse replied before pointing to Alec's hands." If Alec picks at his nail beds anymore, I'm going to need a cleaner to come and clean the blood off my lounge. Alec, please leave your hands alone and tell us what is going on darling," Maryse begged their son, as Izzy grasped one of his hands and held it gently between her own._

_Hesitantly, Alec looked up. His glance, flicking briefly between his parents before settling on his father._

_"Dad, perhaps you want to sit down?" Alec asked._

_"Ok. Can I get myself a drink before I sit? I have a fear I might need it."_

_"Sure. That might actually be a good idea," Alec replied, looking down once more._

_Robert cocked an eyebrow at Maryse, silently asking if she would like a drink also, and she gently shook her head in response before turning back to Alec with a worried expression._

_Robert poured himself a drink, his mind frantically running through a myriad of possible reasons for their children to be sitting and waiting for them like this. If it were Izzy or Jace, he would be looking to unplanned pregnancy, as much as he hated to think that a possibility for his princess. However, this news seemed to centre around Alec, and Robert couldn't imagine that being a possibility for him. He was too responsible, too shy, too . . . Alec. Taking a deep breath, Robert sat himself down next to his wife, and after taking a sip gave his full attention to his children, Maryse doing the same beside him._

_Robert continued to watch Alec, growing more and more concerned as his oldest continued to look down at the ground. As his sister was now grasping one of his hands, he was unable to continue the attack on his nails, an old childhood habit of his that Robert hadn't seen for years. That didn't stop the nervous tics from occurring though. Robert watched as Alec nervously ran his free hand up and down his thigh, his breath coming in shaky gasps._

_"Alec, buddy, just relax. It's all going to be good. Just tell them. We're right here," Jace said, turning to Alec and focusing all of his attention on him. Robert couldn't help but feel a wave of love and admiration for his three older children. Robert was fully aware that he and Maryse had failed for the first nine years of Alec and Izzy's lives. They had focused entirely on work and building their careers, leaving their children to the care of strangers, and when that hadn't been enough, Alec had stepped into the role of parent. When Robert and Maryse's best friends had perished in a car accident, they had taken a hard look at their lives and realised that if it had been them that died, their children would likely have not even missed them. They didn't even know them, after all. So they had adopted Jace into their family, scaled back their work commitments and made concerted efforts to get to know their children. They had built relationships with them now, some more easily than others, but it had taken time, and in that time, the three of them had become a solid unit — a family within a family. For a moment his pride chased away his fear of what he was about to hear, but as Alec took his brother's advice and finally raised his head, Robert braced himself to listen to what he was sure was news they wouldn't like._

_"I'm gay," Alec said plainly._

_Robert listened in shocked silence as Alec explained to them that he was gay and had known this for over three years now but had been scared to tell them, scared of their reactions. He continued talking as they just sat there, telling them that he had begun dating. That for now, there was nothing serious, but he wanted to be out and be honest about who he was instead of living with the constant shame that he was somehow wrong when it was something he had no control or choice over. This was who he is, and he didn't want to hide it anymore._

_At the end of his speech, silence had descended on the room, growing more and more oppressive the longer it held. Eventually, Robert had exploded upon his son, his beautiful son, who had done nothing to deserve it other than have him as a father. Yet another thing, Alec had had no control over. The things that Robert had said to him would haunt him to his dying day. Maryse, to her credit, had reacted marginally better, still confused and disturbed by what she had heard but trying to understand, but Robert hadn't. He had rejected his son and screamed obscenities at him until his son had run from the house in tears, Jace and Izzy pausing long enough to tell their parents that if they rejected Alec, then they would leave too._

_After the three of them had left, Maryse had sent Max upstairs to his room and turned on Robert. If he had expected Maryse to support him in his disgust, he had been wrong. It had been the biggest fight of their marriage, and Maryse had made it clear that if Robert held to his prejudice and she was forced to lose a part of her family, that it would not be her children she gave up, it would be him. With that, she had walked out and gone to bed, leaving him reeling from the turn his night had taken. Robert didn't go to bed that night. One of the reasons had been the fact that he was almost certain that Maryse would have locked the door of their room on him. The other, however, had been the constant replaying of the night. He loved his son. Even then, with disgust and confusion rolling through his mind, that fact had never been in question. He knew where his prejudice and anger came from. For like he had failed Alec tonight, his father had once failed him._

_Robert hadn't had an easy time of it growing up. One of two sons, he had grown up in a poor, hard household with an alcoholic father and a timid mother who preferred to turn a blind eye to her husband's harsh discipline rather than risk incurring it herself. As well as the fists that had regularly beaten into Robert and his brother, so had the opinions their father held of the world and the people that inhabited it._

_Weakness had been a grave offence in their household, and nothing represented weakness more than homosexuality to Gerry Lightwood._

_Robert, the eldest of the two sons, had grown tough by necessity in that house. He had taken his father's lessons to heart and had made himself strong. He was active in sports and quickly developed a reputation as someone not to be messed with outside of his home and his father's eyes. The only thing he had shown care for then was his brother Michael, the opposite of Robert in every way._

_Two years, Robert's junior, Michael had only ever wanted to please their father and gain his love and admiration. It was something he would never achieve, however. At 15, Michael had died in his sleep due to an undetected subdural haematoma. The matter had been investigated as children didn't usually die from unexplained bleeds to the brain. Still, both of his parents had explained that Michael was a very clumsy child, one who regularly fell and hurt himself._

_Ironically, the beatings that his father had given him had supported this theory as Michael would jump and fall at any unexplained noise or touch, always on edge for the next beating. His teachers may have had their suspicions of what life was like for the two Lightwood boys, but none had spoken out, and none could refute their parents' claims of Michael's constant injuries and the reasons behind them._

_In the end, the investigation had concluded that Michael's death was a tragic accident._

_Robert however, had known better._

_He hadn't been there that week, having been away on a football trip with school, but he still knew what had happened._

_Upon hearing the news of his brother, he had returned early from his school trip and had stayed only long enough to attend his brothers funeral, before moving out of his parents' house and cutting off all contact with them._

_He had crashed with friends while finishing school, before winning himself a scholarship to continue his studies, eventually getting himself a law degree, during which time, he had met and fell in love with Maryse._

_When her parents had deemed him unworthy, he had secretly agreed with them. Maryse however, had declared that she loved him, and when her parents had threatened to cut her off, she had shaken her head at them, packed her bags and moved in with Robert. They had later wed in a quiet and inexpensive ceremony and quietly began cementing their own successes in their chosen careers._

_When Robert's own children had been born, he had vowed to never be like his father. He had promised them as he held them in his arms that he would never fail them as his father had failed him and his brother._

_Despite his vow, he knew he had failed them many, many times since. None more so than tonight._

_Robert had fallen into an uneasy slumber in the early hours of the morning, curled up in the armchair of his home office._

_When Alec had returned with Jace and Izzy later that morning, he and Alec had sat and talked._

_Jace and Izzy hadn't wanted to leave Alec alone with him at first, which had been yet another wake-up call to him, but after Alec had told them it was ok, and they had reassured him that they would only be across the hall if he needed them. The two had closed themselves in the office and talked. Robert had apologised, sharing with Alec, for the first time, some of his childhood and the prejudices that had literally been beaten into him._

_"I know this isn't an excuse son. I failed you last night, but I need you to know that I want to do better by you."_

_As Alec had continued to stare at him from a lowered gaze, Robert had carried on._

_"I don't understand your lifestyle. I don't. And I won't pretend I do. But I do know that it's my issue to deal with and not yours. I want to understand, and I don't want to lose you. Or your brother and sister. But I'm going to need you to give me some time, Alec. I don't want to pretend to be ok with something when I'm not, but I promise I will work on becoming ok with it."_

_Nervously, Robert had waited for Alec's response, knowing the future of his family depended on what his son decided here._

_"How much time?" Alec had finally asked._

_Looking lost, Robert had shrugged, before answering._

_"I honestly don't know. But you need to know, you will always be welcome in this house. This will always be your home, and I will always be proud to be your father."_

_"How can you be proud to be my father, when you can't understand or accept such a large part of who I am?" Alec had demanded, standing up and beginning to pace around the room._

_"You can't just accept parts of me and ignore the rest, Dad. You have to accept all of me, or none of this is going to work. What happens when I meet someone and want to bring them home to meet you, huh? What are you going to do then? When I walk into your house, hand in hand with another guy? When you see us kissing on your couch? What are you going to do then?"_

_As Alec stopped talking, he stood still in the middle of the office and stared straight at his father, his face strong and proud, but the hurt that Robert had caused him still plain to see._

_"I'll accept it, Alec. I'll accept it because the alternative is to lose you, and that is something I cannot accept. So, when you meet someone, and you bring them home, I will accept it because there is no other option."_

_As Alec continued to stand there, Robert began to feel desperate._

_"Please Alec. I am trying. I want to be better. I beg you, just give me time to be the father you deserve. Please."_

_"Ok, Dad. I'll give you time." As he said this, Alec suddenly broke, and Robert quickly stood and gathered his oldest son in his arms, whispering in his ear as he and Alec kept a desperate hold on each other, tears running from both their eyes._

_"Thank you, Alec. Thank you."_

From that day on, Alec and Robert had continued with a somewhat strained relationship.

At first, they had been ok. Robert had made a concentrated effort to talk to his son every day and had even met a few of Alec's dates. He had never been warm and welcoming, but he had been polite and courteous, and Alec had seemed happy with his efforts, and their previous bond had begun to repair and resume.

Then Alec had met Sebastian and had fallen hard.

Robert had fought his response, but try as he might, he could not comprehend his son being in a relationship with the man. He sometimes wondered if it was the fact that it was a man, or if it was just the man himself that caused his reaction, but as Alec's relationship with Sebastian had grown, Alec's and Robert's had only deteriorated.

Robert knew that the blame for this fell mainly on him, but even though he kept telling himself to be better and not to push his son away again, the mere mention or sight of Sebastian was enough to push Robert over the edge.

And now it might be too late. Now he might never again get a chance to show Alec that he loved him, that he was proud of him and that he accepted him, every part of him. And all because someone had taken issue with Alec being gay and being stronger than him. Someone Robert couldn't help but think could've been a younger version of him.

Now, all he could do was wait and pray, surrounded by his wife and three younger children that he would get yet another chance to be a better father to his son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all,  
> Constructive feedback and criticism is always welcome, but please be kind. Comments and kudo’s fuel me to continue writing, so please leave them below.  
> Feel free to check out some of my other work, including the fun and much more lighthearted ‘The Bachelor.’ What happens when Magnus is chosen as the first Bi-sexual bachelor and Alec is pulled in as one of his reluctant dates?


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec comes out of surgery and his doctor’s update the family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone,  
> I’m putting this chapter out a little earlier than planned as I’m not sure I’ll have time over New Years.  
> Warnings for this chapter include:  
> * Descriptions of medical procedures  
> That’s pretty much it for this one. I might try and put out another chapter in a week or so, if I get a chance, but in the meantime, I hope everyone stays safe, healthy and happy.

Time passed quietly for the Lightwood's and Sebastian as they waited through the night and into the early hours of the morning to hear news of Alec. Barbra watched over them as they waited, checking on them, bringing them bottled water and snacks, as well as offering coffee and tea from the nurses break room instead of the offending vending machines down the hall. Dawn had not long broken when Barbra led two exhausted doctors into the room.

The first doctor to enter was a woman who carried herself with strength and confidence despite her exhausted state. Somewhere in her mid-thirties, she gave out the impression of one who never sat still and continuously strove for more.

The second doctor to enter was a distinguished-looking man, grey despite being at most a decade older than his colleague. He seemed to quickly take measure of the people waiting, and promoted a sense of calmness to the room that had not been present earlier.

Both doctors moved to stand in front of Robert and Maryse, gesturing them to remain seated when both began to rise. Instead, the female doctor gathered two chairs from a nearby wall and placed them in front of the worried parents. They were close enough that their conversation would still be quiet, but with enough distance to not crowd them or exclude others from pulling up a chair and being a part of the conversation also.

As he shot a quick smile at his colleague, the male doctor began to talk as they both sat down, his voice calm and steady.

"Mr and Mrs Lightwood," he began, "My name is Dr Aidhan Clifford. I'm the neurosurgeon who was on duty when your son Alexander came into the trauma unit tonight. This is my colleague Dr Ashleigh Matthews, and she is the orthopaedic surgeon working with your son."

As the doctors took this moment to pause and shake hands with the family and give them time to introduce themselves in return, they had an opportunity to study the group dynamics around them. There was obvious tension in the room, and it was clear to both doctors that it was caused by more than merely waiting for news of a loved one.

As Dr Clifford leaned forward to begin taking the family through the events of the night, Dr Matthews in turn, sat back slightly to observe the reactions of the family and try to find the cause of some of the tension.

While technically not their job, both doctors were fully aware of the long recovery process ahead of their patient if he made it through the next 48 hours, and the type of support and care he would need to get through it. For that reason, they needed to know what possible difficulties could be facing their patient in his recovery.

"As you know, Alexander was brought into the trauma unit tonight, and after an initial examination and some quick and effective testing, it was discovered that he had suffered a traumatic blow to his head by a blunt instrument. This resulted in some significant swelling and bleeding on the brain," the doctor explained.

Dr Clifford had, unfortunately, been in this situation many times before. It was never easy to share the news of a patients diagnosis with their loved ones, and in his experience, when doing so, it was best to do away with all the technical, medical terms, take it slow and keep it honest.

Despite how serious and delicate the outcome was for the young man he had just spent most of the night operating on, he continued with his explanation in the most straightforward and most reassuring terms possible, staying with what he knew best.

"This blow has caused significant damage to your son's brain, and unfortunately it will be some days at least before we know the full extent of what damage has been done, but for now I will tell you what we do know. The blow to your son's skull has caused a fracture to occur along the rear of the skull," he said, indicating the side of his own skull behind and slightly above his right ear.

"That then caused a serious bleed to occur in your son's brain, as well as some swelling. Thankfully, the fracture gave his brain a little extra time, as it provided an additional release for the brain's swelling until we could get your son into surgery.

As I am sure you have heard by now, your son was seizing upon his arrival at the hospital." As he waited for the parent's nod of acknowledgement at this implied question, he also took a brief moment to assess how they were taking the news so far. It was important he only presented them with information as they were able to take it, and if he needed to go slower, it was best he knew now.

Looking around at Alexander's gathered loved ones though, he could see that they were still with him so far and taking in what he said despite their fear and worry. With that knowledge, he continued.

"The seizing was caused by this swelling to the brain and the resulting pressure. In surgery tonight, we were required to remove a section of Alec's skull to allow additional room for the swelling, hopefully preventing any further damage to occur. This procedure is called a decompressive craniectomy, and as well as allowing room for swelling, it allowed us some access to find the source of the bleed in your son's brain and treat it.

At this stage, we are relatively confident that we have successfully stopped the bleed and we have already seen slowing of the swelling on the brain.

Once we see a conclusive halt and reduction in swelling, we will perform a cranioplasty, where we reattach the piece of skull or a suitable replacement. We will be continuing to monitor your son very carefully over the next few weeks, but I have to tell you now, the next 48 hours are critical to his survival."

Dr Clifford watched this news wash over the family surrounding him, knowing it would take some time for the full severity of their loved one's condition to sink in. As he waited for the inevitable questions to come at him, he began taking note of some of the group dynamics that had begun presenting as he talked.

A quick glance to his side confirmed that his colleague had been doing the same thing throughout his explanation. The small glance she flicked him, told him that she had picked up on something that he had missed. Knowing they would talk it over briefly before they both separated for the night, him to a cot, on-call for his patient, and she home to bed, Aidhan turned his attention to the Mother, who apparently had the first question.

"You said, you removed a piece of his skull," she began brokenly. "Are you able to put it back? Or will he live—, will he be forever without—?" With a sob, she breaks off and turning, clings to her husband, before turning to look back at the doctor.

"We will be able to reattach your son's skull fragment, absolutely. As I mentioned before, we will continue to monitor him closely over the next few weeks. Once the swelling comes to a complete halt and reduces back, we perform what is called a cranioplasty, to reattach the piece of skull we removed. There is a possibility, due to the trauma it received, it won't be viable, but in that case, we can use a substitute, usually synthetic bone or solid biomaterial to retain the best shape and comfort. It's a relatively simple procedure and one I have performed many times, though every surgery comes with risks, of course."

"Of course," Maryse flutters.

"I apologise," she continues somewhat dazed. "I think you already mentioned that, didn't you?"

"It's fine, Mrs Lightwood. It's very common to not be able to take in all the information straight away. Please, all of you," Aidhan says, looking around at the whole group, "ask anything you can think of or anything you want further details on. Alexander has a long and difficult road ahead of him, and he's going to need all of you to come through it."

"Alec."

"I'm sorry?" the doctor says, turning to the younger version of Mrs Lightwood. The sister, he guesses.

As Isabelle gives the doctor a soft, sad smile, she answers him.

"Please call him Alec. He hates Alexander. Says it always makes him feel like he's in trouble."

Smiling in response, the doctor nods his head and acknowledges her request.

"Alec it is. I certainly don't want him to feel he's in trouble."

"Thank you," comes the soft response.

"How long before he wakes up?" Asks Robert.

"It's difficult to say," Aidhan continues. "At this time, his brain and body need to rest, so we have given him some drugs to help him do so. We will continue these while we wait for the swelling to go down, and judging by what we see then, possibly a few days longer. I would estimate at least a week before we start to try and wake him up, but depending on how he progresses or deteriorates, it could be longer."

"Wake him up?" Jace asks. "When you say you've given him drugs, you mean you've placed him in an induced coma, right? Is that safe?"

"It is an induced coma, you're right. It sounds a lot more frightening that way, so I try to avoid the term when talking to loved ones.

An induced coma essentially means a deep state of unconsciousness, brought about by barbiturates. In a state of unconsciousness like that, the brain has less work to do, as the body expends less energy and blood flow. This, in turn, helps the swelling to subside, as it only has to worry about essential life-saving functions such as circulation, respiration and digestion.

To help support Alec in this, we have also set him up on a ventilator, but he may very well be able to come off that in a few days, even before he wakes up. At the moment, his body and brain are exhausted, from their fight to keep him alive. Rest is the very best thing for him."

"What will happen when he wakes up? What will our next step be?" Robert asked.

The two doctors exchange a small look before Aidhan attempts to answer the complicated question.

"I'm afraid, it's too early to say right now," he begins gently.

"What our next steps will be when Alec wakes up, will depend on a variety of factors. The first of those is our actual ability to wake him up."

The doctor raised his hand, to halt the sudden questions rushing at him from his patient's loved ones.

"We are quite optimistic that we will be able to wake him up, but I need you all to understand the seriousness of the condition Alexander, — Alec, now finds himself in."

He lets this sink in for a second before continuing.

"Alec did remarkably well, coming through the surgery, but he is, unfortunately, not out of the woods yet. That being said, we hope to see a reduction in the swelling over the next few days, and as I said, when that occurs, we will look at reattaching the piece of skull, though that will depend on how his vitals are at the time.

Whether we attach it before or after we bring him out of his coma, the next few steps will most likely be the same. Over the following weeks, we will continue monitoring his vitals, and once he wakes, we will be conducting a variety of exams to test his brain function."

At his words, Maryse, Isabelle, and Jace let out a sob, while Robert stiffens in his seat. Max seems to have stopped following the conversation and is merely sitting numbly in his Mother's arms. In contrast, Sebastian takes a step back at the words. A grim look fixed on his face.

"What does that mean?" Robert asks.

"The blow that Alec took to his head was quite severe. It's quite possible that the injury has caused permanent damage to part of his brain. This is what we call a TBI or a traumatic brain injury. Once he wakes, we will begin testing to see what sort of damage has occurred."

Seeing how his words were affecting the family around him, he knew he would need to wrap this up soon. They had almost reached the limits of information they could take in, and Ashleigh still had to take them through her diagnosis.

"TBI's are very serious and can involve a long process of recovery."

"So he can recover?" Maryse interrupts hopefully.

"Improvements can occur, yes. It is unlikely that full recovery will occur, but not impossible. That being said, in my experience, with the damage your son suffered, there will be some long-term effects, most likely permanent. This is something we will discuss in more detail, once Alec wakes. For now, I would like to hand things over to Dr Matthews here so that she can go through some of Alec's diagnosis from an orthopaedic viewpoint."

As Ashleigh sat forward, giving the family a gentle smile. She knew that she would have to go through this quickly, as this family was definitely at their limits of what they could comprehend right now.

"Hi. As Dr Clifford said, I am Dr Ashleigh Matthews, and I am Alec's orthopaedic surgeon. In addition to the head injuries that Dr Clifford has been telling you about, Alec also came in with some significant injuries to his right hand. Now I don't want to keep you here long, so right now I am just going to go over the basics for you, and we will discuss this further in a few days when you have all had a chance to spend some time with Alec."

After checking that she still had a few more minutes of attention before the family checked out, Ashleigh continued.

"For the most part, he has suffered multiple breaks, including some crush fractures to his metacarpals and proximal phalanges, to his right hand. Basically, his fingers and the small bones that make up the structure of his hand. All I've done tonight is stabilise some of the breaks and remove any floating bone fragments to ensure they don't cause more damage. Once Alec stabilises, I will go back in to do some more stabilisation to the hand. Most likely that will include some bone grafts, to replace the crushed bones. To reduce the number of surgeries that Alec will have to undergo, we will more than likely do the bone graft at the same time that Alec undergoes his cranioplasty. I'll be using synthetic bone due to the smallness of the injury, and with the thought that we want to minimise any procedures that Alec has to endure. Once we get the bone stabilised, Alec will need to take part in a significant amount of rehabilitation to recover strength and flexibility to the hand. There is a chance that he will not recover full range of movement, but I am confident that he should be able to recover a significant amount."

Looking around, she saw that everyone had reached their limits.

"I'm open to answering any questions you may have, but if you are ok with what you've heard so far, we will both wrap it up tonight. Once Alec has moved through recovery, which should happen in about —"Ashleigh quickly checks her watch, "— 2 hours, Barbra, will take you through to Alec and you'll be able to take turns to go and sit with him. I need to tell you that it will be absolutely no more than two people at a time allowed to stay with him, but there is a family room on the ward, that the rest of you will be able to sit and rest in."

"I have no questions right now," Robert says.

Quickly everyone else chimes in with their agreements to forgo the conversations tonight and focus on getting to see Alec.

As the two doctors say their goodbyes to the family and step outside, they are more than aware of the devastation they have left behind. They briefly stop to confer with Barbra, receiving the update from the recovery team that Barbra had just talked to and confirmed the plans to begin allowing the family in two at a time to see Alec.

"Watch the dynamics though, please Barbra," Ashleigh requests. "There is a definite tension hidden in there somewhere, and the last thing we or Alec need is a fight to break out on the ICU ward."

As Barbra nods, Aidhan turns to Ashleigh.

"Did you see something?" He asks, knowing her ability to read a room accurately.

"Three distinct groups," she said, turning back to him.

"The parents with the younger sibling, form one. The blonde at the back is by himself and the other blond and the sister, hovering somewhere in-between. They're the peacemakers."

"The blond that was standing at the back of the room is the boyfriend. From what I've been told, they live together, and he's been given partner status," Barbra informs them.

At this Aidhan represses a sigh at the problems the unofficial status poses.

"That's an unofficial designation the hospital gives to close loved ones. It doesn't grant him any voice unless they're engaged or married. The family can over-ride him being there at any time."

"What do you want me to do?" Barbra asks Aidhan.

After a few exchanged looks, Ashleigh turns to answer Barbra instead.

"For now, just try to keep the peace. Keep the rules about visitors and noise levels clear and try to lead them through it as much as possible, so they don't have to try to handle it themselves."

"Will do. You both heading home?"

"She is," Aidhan says, rolling his eyes and jerking his thumb at his colleague, who smiles cheekily in response.

"I'm heading up to the doctor's mess on 6 to catch some zzz's, but if there is any change to Alec or any concerns, I want to be told immediately," he tells her gravely.

"No problem," she replies.

"Anything else?"

The three of them continue exchanging instructions and working out the care plan for the next 24 — 48 hours, before all separating, the two doctors at this point dropping with fatigue.

The grim words of Dr Clifford had left the room in near silence. The heavy weight of emotion suffocating the room's occupants' ability to speak, too lost in the grief and anger that now gripped them. If the drunk from the night before were present with them now, he would more than likely find himself fighting for life alongside Alec.

The entrance of Barbra into the room, two hours later, seemed to break the fog that gripped them, everyone slowly unfolding from the positions they had been locked in.

"Hi everyone, how are you holding up?" Barbra asks the group gently.

"We're fine, thank you," Maryse responds.

"Has there been any update on Alec?"

At her question, everyone looks up and focuses on Barbra, their expressions ranging from hope to desolation.

"He's doing well for the moment. He's left recovery and just arrived in the ICU. It'll take about 20 minutes for them to get him settled in and then you'll be able to start taking turns to go in and see him. In the meantime, why doesn't everybody gather their things, and I'll take you up to the family room within the ICU, where you'll all be able to wait between visits.

"That sounds wonderful. Thank you so much, Barbra, for all your help." 

The group was silent as they followed Barbra to the elevators, each lost in their own thoughts. Emerging two levels above, they continued to follow her down a hall and into a large spacious room.

As Izzy looked around, she took in the large comfortable chairs and lounges on one side, while a small kitchen with a few small tables and chairs gathered on the other side.

She was slightly amazed by the generous facilities provided within the room, tiredly recognising the comfort the stuffy armchairs could provide to a weary body such as hers. While simple and basic, the kitchen was well equipped with a large fridge in addition to the microwave and hot plates. As she lowered herself into one of the armchairs, she wondered briefly why the excess was unable to make sense of it in her tired state.

Deciding it was something she would figure out another time, Izzy slowly let her eyes drift shut, the soft cushions of the chair pulling her into unconsciousness as she allowed the stress and exhaustion of the night claim her. At this point, she was unknowing and uncaring as to what the others were doing around her.

She was startled awake again, minutes or hours later, when her Mother leaned over from another armchair to shake her awake. Izzy, blearily looked around her, tiredly taking in her Mum and Max huddled together in a chair beside her, Robert across from them, sitting up alertly, eyes locked onto the woman who had just walked into the room.

As Izzy's eyes also locked onto this new face, she saw Jace and Sebastian rise from a table on the other side of the room, and stride over, fear and hope battling for dominance in their expressions.

"Good morning," the new arrival greeted them, her voice strong and reassuring, and Izzy instantly found herself liking the woman and being grateful for her presence at this time.

"My name is Cat, Caterina if you prefer, I am happy with either. I am one of the senior nurses here in the ICU ward and will be one of Alec's main nurses while he is here with us."

"How is Alec?" Maryse asks Cat, anxiety bleeding through her voice in response to the long night.

"He's doing as well as we could hope at this stage," Cat tells them with a gentle smile.

"We got him settled in, and his vitals are holding steady, which is good. We can start visits in to see him soon as I know that is something you have all been wanting to do, and I think it will be beneficial to Alec to know that his loved ones are close by. Before we do though, I need to go through a few things with you, if that's alright? It should only take a few minutes," she reassures them when she sees a few of them begin to protest at yet another delay at seeing Alec.

"Yes, fine. Let's get this over with then. I want to see my son," Robert tells her gruffly, waving everyone together and resuming his seat.

"I completely understand that, and I promise I'll try to make this as quick as I can," Cat tells them, sitting in a chair at the head of the group and waiting quietly for everyone else to take seats around her.

As they wait, Izzy quietly studies the woman, perhaps late 20's in age. Dark skinned with pure white hair that can only come from a bottle and beautiful dark blue eyes that would rival Alec's in the clarity of their colour. Her frame is lean but strong, and that strength carries over to her character as well. It is easy to see that this is not a woman you want to mess with despite her caring nature.

Once everyone was settled, Cat began, starting with what they should prepare themselves to see when they first saw Alec.

"Ok, so as you know, Alec has gone through quite a lot tonight, first with the beating and then with the surgery to save his life after. Now, he is doing well, and we are optimistic about his chances, but I want you to prepare yourselves for two very specific things. One, he is not going to look how you remember him when you do see him, and two, if he recovers, he has got a long road of recovery ahead of him. This is not going to be a simple process or an easy one. Now, my colleagues have told me there may be a little tension going on amongst you all, and I want to reassure you that that is utterly normal in this situation. The stress levels you must all be feeling right now will be through the roof, and I understand that, and I'm here to help you through it," she tells them, understanding in her voice before the tone changed to the protective taskmaster Izzy saw when she first walked in.

"But, I will not let those tensions and stresses enter Alec's room," she told them firmly, her tone broking no argument. Despite herself, Izzy couldn't help but let her gaze be drawn between Robert and Sebastian, quickly realising she wasn't the only one doing this.

She is somewhat reassured that both men seem willing to temporarily at least, table their typical tensions and arguments. At Cat's words, Robert's gaze dropped to the ground at his feet, pain and guilt, creating fresh lines and stresses on his otherwise youthful appearance. Sebastian flushed in response and lowered his eyes briefly before they raised again to meet everyone's gaze, a silent promise in his eyes to do better.

"Whatever tensions you have, they stay in this room," Cat continued. "If I see them appear in Alec's room or presence, I will have you removed from the ICU, and you will not be permitted to return. My job is to help heal and guide Alec back to health, and I will not let anyone interfere with that. Is that clear?" She asks them, her tone reminding Izzy of one of the many times she was pulled into a principle's office as a child.

"Yes"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Absolutely Caterina,"

"Yes

"Yes"

"Yes, Cat,"

Izzy was slightly amused to hear Jace's response of Ma'am. Clearly, he was having middle school flashbacks also. Sharing a quick smile with him, her attention was quickly brought back to Cat as she resumed talking about Alec.

"Ok, now that that unpleasantness is out of the way, let's talk about Alec. As you know, he underwent major trauma and surgery tonight, and he looks like it. I don't want to scare you, but I do want you prepared when you go in to see him. I mentioned earlier he's not going to look how you remember him, and I wasn't exaggerating. He currently has major swelling on his face that have his features quite distorted. He's also quite heavily bandaged, and part of his head has been shaved, so he doesn't have a flattering haircut," she tells them with a gentle smile.

"He's also got his right hand quite heavily wrapped up, and is supported in a sling, and for now, I will ask you to ensure you don't touch his hand or the sling supporting it, as it will cause him pain despite the heavy pain killers we have him on.

Ok, last thing before we go in, is we are happy for someone to always be in there with him if that's what you wish. We believe recovery can only be helped by having loved ones close, so visiting hours don't apply here. There is a limit of 2 people to the room, though. How you work out who is going in and how long they are in there is up to you. Remember, though, I expect you all to keep the peace, or the other nursing staff and I will intervene, so talk it out ahead of time. The kitchen is here for your use, so please feel free to use it, and I can personally attest to the fact that these chairs are very comfortable to catch up on some much needed sleep."

As Cat finishes up, she looks over them all, understanding and compassion clear in her expression. Despite her stern warnings earlier, Izzy knows that Cat is someone who will go above and beyond to support her patients and by extension, their family. She can't help but be incredibly grateful that her brother has landed in her care.

"Right, well thank you, Caterina," Robert tells her after gruffly clearing his throat.

"Perhaps, if Maryse and I go in first and spend 10 - 15 minutes with Alec, see our son?" He suggests, before swallowing hard and then looking uncomfortably over to Sebastian.

"Then I think Sebastian should be the next to go in, either Jace or Izzy accompanying him. Then whoever doesn't go in with Sebastian, can go in with Max here," he finishes, giving his youngest child a soft smile.

For a brief second Sebastian looks like he's going to protest at having to go in second, but then visibly stops himself

"That sounds good Robert, thank you," he tells him with a nod and a tight smile.

"Of course," Robert tells him, giving a tight smile back.

"Can I go in with Izzy?" Max asks softly, looking up at his big sister with a pleading expression on his face.

Upset at the knowledge that this means she has to wait till last to see her brother, she nonetheless gives Max a soft smile and answers him.

"Of course we can go in together Max. I'll be right there with you, ok?"

"Thanks, Iz."

With that, Caterina smiles widely and looking over at Robert and Maryse, gestures over to the door.

"Right, well shall I take you in to see Alec?" She asks them gently.

"Yes, thank you so much, Caterina," Maryse responds, reaching out and gripping her husbands hand tightly as they follow her out the door, leaving the others behind to once again wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Constructive criticism is welcomed but please be kind.  
> Comments and kudo’s are appreciated and give me energy to write so please leave one below if you haven’t already.


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec’s family sit vigil at his bedside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter:  
> * Description of injuries and medical procedures

Maryse can almost taste the bile in her throat as she looks down upon her son.

She’d always been a strong woman, stepping out of the protective bubble of her family’s fortune to step into the unknown with Robert, and meeting every challenge that came their way, head-on. She backed down from nothing and no one, owning her choices and living her life her way, and she’d taught her children to do the same.

But looking down at the broken form of her oldest child now, she felt all her strength desert her.

Clinging to her husband with one, her other hand reached out to gingerly caress the air above her son’s silent and still form, not quite daring to touch him, but desperate to feel his energy.

“My b-b-b-baby b-b-boy!” She choked out, collapsing where she stood once more as Robert guided her to a chair by Alec’s side, his own eyes never leaving their son as he did.

Now that she was sitting she was able to let go slightly of the conscious need to keep her body upright, as she slumped against Alec’s side, grasping his good hand in hers.

“Alec, baby. Mama’s here. Mama’s here, sweetheart, and you are going to be ok. You are so strong! You’ve always been the strongest of us all, remember that!” She told him, her words pouring from her as she sought to remind Alec that he was more than capable of the fight in front of him.

“Dad’s here too, Alec. Your dad is right here beside me, and Izzy, and Jace, and Max and Sebastian, they’re all just outside. We’re all here for you sweetheart. We’re all here, and we’re not going anywhere. You are going to be fine. You are going to come out of this stronger than ever! I believe that! I know it! You are going to be just fine.”

As Maryse continued to talk to their son, Robert silently looked down at his son, his heart breaking as he took him in. The swelling that Cat had talked about was so severe, that even had he been awake, Robert doubted he’d be able to squeeze his eyes open anyway. There were blue and purple bruises mottled across the usually pale skin, with broken red marks drawing lines where the swelling had caused his face to crease.

The whistling suck of the ventilator as it breathed for his son, sounded frighteningly loud in the room, adding a discordant rhythmic thump to Maryse’s words. Looking at the tube snaking its way into Alec’s mouth and down his throat, somehow added more reality to this night, than Robert thought he could bear. The idea that his little boy couldn’t breathe without this machine fractured something inside him and frightened him in a way he hadn’t felt since he was a child.

The horror of what had occurred tonight was so clearly on display it was hard to take in, to know where to look. He felt an almost guilt come over him as he grew thankful that Alec wasn’t awake to see himself like this. As it was, he was already hesitant to let Max in, though he doubted at this point he could keep him out. Alec had been his personal hero for all of his 13 years.

Leaning over his son, he reached down to brush some hair off his face that was escaping from under the bandage. He vaguely remembered Cat joking about a bad haircut, but with the bandages currently swaddling Alec’s head, it was hard to see just how much had been removed. Certainly, there was still some there, and it was behaving in its typical way.

Robert let a small smile crack over his face as an image rushed into his mind, crystal clear in its clarity, of Alec impatiently sweeping the hair off his head, a gesture he would repeat a few dozen times a day. He’d one day let Izzy pull the top of the eternally messy hair into a small ponytail as a teenager, but had discovered that he quite liked it while he was drawing, as it kept him from the distraction of sweeping it back. It looked ridiculous when he did it, this small little tuft of hair sticking up from the top of his head before exploding in all directions. Robert felt the smile drop from his face as he considered the idea that Alec would no longer need to do this if Cat was to be believed.

Wiping away the tears he had been unaware he was crying, he leaned down and brushed a kiss, featherlight across Alec’s brow, before moving down slightly to whisper into his ear.

“You got this son. You’re the strongest man I know, and you are surrounded by people that love you. We’ve got your back, and you will get through this.”

Straightening up, he turned and placed a hand on his wife’s shoulder.

“Come on, love. The other’s need to see him too. They won’t be able to rest until they do.”

When Maryse didn’t move, Robert gave her shoulder a small squeeze, offering a little more support to step away again for a short while.

“Maryse, we’ll come back soon and sit with him longer, but we need to let the others see him too. They need to see with their own eyes that he’s here and still with us. Once everyone’s had a chance, we’ll come back and stay with him while the other’s go home for a rest and a change of clothes, ok?”

For a moment he wonders if Maryse is unable to respond, lost to the grief of what has happened, but after a few moments, she turns her head and shares a slight grimace that was meant to be a smile and nods.

“You’re right. We need to let the others in.”

Turning back to Alec, she squeezes his hand again gently.

“We’ll be back soon, Alec, ok? Izzy, and Jace and Max and Sebastian, they’re all waiting outside and want to come see you, but once they have, dad and I will be back ok? We won’t be long.”

As she rose, she stepped forward so she too could place a kiss to Alec’s brow.

“We love you, baby boy. We’ll see you soon.”

Slowly, as if it was more than she could bear, she let Robert gently pull her away and out of the room. As they stepped across the hall, she leaned into her husband’s warm embrace, desperately needing his comfort and strength and knowing that he needed hers in return.

As they stepped back into the family room, Izzy immediately jumped up from the chair where she had been sitting with Max, Sebastian and Jace quickly walking over from where they had been pacing along the long length of the room.

“How is he? How’s he look?” Izzy asked desperately, eager for any information she could get.

Seeing her daughter’s needful state, Maryse stepped away from her husband slightly and brought herself into Izzy’s space. Raising her hand up to her face, she spoke gently, not wanting to scare her.

“He’s doing well, sweetheart. He doesn’t look that good, he certainly doesn’t look like the handsome man we all know, but he’s still there. He’s going to be just fine,” she reassures her.

While Maryse reassured their daughter, Robert stepped over to Jace and Sebastian.

“How is he?” Jace asked, worry holding every inch of his body tense.

As Robert moved his gaze to Sebastian, he saw the same fear and worry in his son’s lover. As much as he wasn’t a fan of the boy, he couldn’t deny that he looked like his world was collapsing in on him right now.

Switching his gaze between the two of them, Robert tried to calm them before they walked into Alec’s room.

“He’s doing as well as can be expected, boys, but he doesn’t look good, so I want you both to prepare yourself before you walk in there, ok?”

It spoke to Sebastian’s internal panic that he nodded gratefully at Robert for his words, before stepping over to the door.

Jace gave his father’s arm a quick squeeze before he turned to follow him out.

As Sebastian stepped through the door of Alec’s room, he felt a strong urge to run back out, run away from the pain that had surely come upon him. Fighting the instinct to flee, Sebastian slowly walked in, his head turning back slightly as he heard Jace follow behind him.

Coming clear of the door, he drew in a strong rattling gasp at his first look at Alec.

He was unrecognisable.

Fighting the urge to run once more, Sebastian forced himself to move forward, slowly bringing himself to Alec’s side. Frantically casting his gaze up and down his body, he looked for something he could recognise, something that would allow him to reconcile the broken body in front of him, with the man he loves, the man he is hoping to spend his life with.

Eventually, he finds it. Beneath the bandages sweeping over and around his face, a hint of his tattoo peeks out. It’s an ugly thing, something that Sebastian had always hated, feeling it marred the beauty of Alec’s pale skin, and dirtying up the clean shadows of his sharp jawline. For now, though, he was overcome seeing it, gratitude flooding through his body at the dark lines that allowed him to recognise this man as Alec.

As he looks back up to Alec’s face though, he feels anew the horror of what has happened. Alec’s beautiful face is swollen and misshaped, the beautiful colour of his eyes seems to have leached over his face, the blue mixed in with the purple they become when he is truly sad. It seems appropriate now to see that shade, though Sebastian would give anything to see it away from Alec permanently.

Tubes and wires twist over his body over a myriad of different points and add their own element of horror to what is left of Alec.

As the grief of what has happened washes over him in a tidal wave of emotion, he feels hope leach out of him, the certainty that he has lost Alec so absolute within him, that he can almost visualise him dying in front of his eyes. Certain it is just a matter of time until his vision becomes a reality, Sebastian releases the sob that was choking him, and begins backing out of the room. Ignoring Jace as he calls out to him, he turns and runs as if the very devil is after him, mourning his love.

As Sebastian ran out of the room, Jace briefly calls out to him, watching as Sebastian doesn’t even hesitate before racing out of the room, the door slamming shut in his wake.

He stares confused at the door for a second before looking back down at his brother, wondering where Sebastian was going and not understanding why he would ever run away when Alec is right here. Despite the swelling and the bruising, the bandages obscuring 3/4 of his head, and the ventilator breathing for him and obstructing his mouth, Jace has no trouble recognising the brother he knows and loves in the man before him.

“Hey there, big brother,” he says, sharing their long-held inside joke. He was adopted into the Lightwood family when he was nine years old, but he and Alec had been friends, best friends for years before that. Like the Lightwood’s, his first parents had been classic over-workers, and it hadn’t been uncommon for the children to be grouped together, either with the nannies, at their school or in the few times their parents, being best friends, had been around. 

It had been a joke between Jace and Alec, that Alec was supposed to act older and wiser, due to being born five days before Jace. Whenever the boys had gotten into mischief, caught or not, Jace had always joked that Alec should have known better and kept Jace out of trouble.

Alec had always put up with the teasing with a good-natured roll of his eyes, but somewhere along the way, probably not long after Jace was adopted into the family, Alec took on the role of caretaker and advisor. Not just to Jace, but to Izzy and Max too. As they got older, it had extended out to their friends. Maia literally called Alec her big brother, and even Aline and Lydia who all had their crap together went to Alec when they needed an outside opinion.

“This is a fine mess, you got yourself into,” he tells Alec, finally feeling himself calm now that he has Alec in front of him.

“I gotta say, big brother, you’ve looked better. There’s no doubt as to who’s the most handsome brother now,” he says, sitting down in the chair by the bed, his voice calm and relaxed.

“So, the docs tell us you gotta rest for a little while. I think you got the better end of the deal here, Alec, I gotta tell you. While you’re in here snoozing away, I’ll be out there keeping Mum and Izzy calm, trying to keep the peace between Dad and Seb for you. I’d offer to be a good role model to Max too, but I think we both know that’s not really in my wheelhouse, so I’ll probably leave that one for Iz.

Don’t worry about a thing, though, Alec. I promise everyone will be ok. I’ll take care of them for you while you get well. You don’t need to worry about a thing except getting better.”

Grabbing his Alec’s hand, he gives it a quick squeeze.

“I better go and let Izzy have her turn with you before she decides to disown me. Sebastian will be back later, too. He just needed a minute. He won’t be long though. That man seriously adores you, though I’m not sure why,” he jokes, reluctant to let his time with his brother end.

“I love you, brother. Thank you for not leaving me.”

Lifting it up, he touches the back of Alec’s hand to his forehead, his hand grasping it tightly. He holds it there for a minute before laying Alec’s hand back to the bed.

“I’ll go get Izzy. Best prepare yourself, Alec.”

“Hi Alec,” Izzy murmurs, quietly letting the door close behind her as she walks into the room. As she steps further in and sees Alec laying in the bed, she stops. Taking a moment to let the shock pass through her, she continues walking softly and carefully to her brother’s bed, sinking into the same chair as her family, and reaching out to take Alec’s hand in hers, just as they did.

“Max wanted to come,” she tells him, “but he fell asleep waiting for our turn. Poor kid was so exhausted. We decided to just let him sleep. He’ll come and see you when he wakes up though.

You’d be proud of him, Alec. He’s being so strong,” she says, pride for their younger sibling filling her voice.

Looking at her brother, she feels herself break as she takes in the distorted features of his face and the splintered hand, so fragile, they can’t even touch it.

“I’m so sorry, Alec,” she sobs.

“I should have gotten to you faster. I should have stopped him somehow. I’m so sorry, I’m sorry,” she chokes out, her face falling down to the bed, her forehead resting on their joined hands in broken imitation of Jace before her. She lets the sobs rack her body, finally surrendering to the fear of losing him that had plagued her all night. Holding her brother’s hand to her, she lets his touch give her the same comfort he had provided to her, all her life, drawing on his love, to give her strength.

Eventually, she falls silent, the sobs giving over to a strange sense of calm and peace, one that wasn’t foreign to her when she was with Alec, but not something she had expected to feel tonight.

She embraced the feeling though, telling herself it meant Alec was still here, even if he couldn’t talk to her.

Drawing up and resting her head on their joined hands, she turns her face to look at Alec.

“Thank you, big brother. Thank you for always being there when I need you. Now it’s my turn to be here for you. Our turn. This time, we get to take care of you,” she whispers to him.

She stays like that for another minute, the injuries fading away from her until all she saw was the brother she loved and looked up to, resting peacefully while she held his hand, not for the first time.

Eventually, she rose to her feet and leaned over to place a gentle kiss on Alec’s cheek before walking out of the room.

The next ten days were a whirlwind of emotion for the family.

Sebastian came back an hour after running out of the room, his eyes red-rimmed and swollen, and smelling slightly of vomit. Maryse and Robert were both in with Alec when he returned, but they graciously stepped out upon hearing he was back so he could spend some time with Alec too.

He went in alone and spent the next 15 minutes sitting in silence at Alec’s bedside, holding his hand and silently watching as the ventilator forcibly pushed air into Alec’s chest, causing it to rise and fall.

At the end of the 15 minutes, he placed a kiss to the back of Alec’s hand, before rising one and pressing a second to his cheek. After another minute of silent watching, he stepped out of Alec’s room and back into the family waiting room. After thanking Maryse and Robert for giving him time, he walked to an overstuffed armchair at the back of the room and curled up without saying another word. When Jace checked on him 15 minutes later, he was asleep, though not peacefully if the constant twitching was any indication.

Sometime late morning, Robert emerged from Alec’s room and told Izzy and Jace to head back to the family home to rest and shower, and requested they take Max back with them.

After some soft protests, they both agreed on the proviso that they return at dinner time with everyone and that Robert and Maryse then take their turn to rest. After Robert agreed to this condition, Jace questioned if they should wake Sebastian. After a moment’s contemplation watching the other man sleep, Robert told them to let him rest, and that he would tell him where everyone was when he woke and let him decide what he wants to do.

Sebastian, waking two hours after the siblings left, also decided to head home for a shower and a proper rest, with the plan to return later that night to share the vigil with Jace and Izzy.

So began the pattern of the week. The group would spend mornings and evenings together and separate for large parts of the day or night, with some staying and others going home.

The groups constantly changed, and surprisingly, peace was kept easily between Robert and Sebastian. Izzy and Maryse guessed that they both recognised how much pain the other was in and had decided to be supportive. Jace just thought everyone was too damn exhausted and heartsick to fight. Chances are both theories were right, but whatever it was, Cat and the other nursing staff were relieved to see everyone working together to support the young man they all loved.

Being the ICU department, others weren’t allowed to come and visit, but everyone kept in touch through group texts, passing on the news that there was no news or change, except those times that there were.

Alec’s brain started bleeding again, the second day of his recovery, and he was rushed back in for a relatively short surgery to correct the bleed. Dr Clifford later informed them that it had been a small bleed and he didn’t think it had caused any additional damage. However, he made the family nervous when he increased the vital checks on Alec to every 30 minutes for the next 48 hours, just to be sure.

Six days after his initial surgery, Dr Clifford and Dr Matthews, both escorted Alec back to surgery, where Dr Clifford replaced the missing piece of Alec’s skull, and Dr Matthews performed a bone graft to fix his hand. Both doctors had decided to go with synthetic options to replace the damaged bone, telling the family and Sebastian that doing so would reduce the number of surgeries Alec would have to undergo and minimise the risk of infection. The doctors explained that the grafts would be absorbed and replaced as natural bone healed over the synthetic pieces.

Alec would have to be careful of both areas in the future, however, as both would now hold a weaker structure, his skull especially.

Dr Clifford explained that in the future, any knock to the skull in the wrong spot could prove extremely serious for Alec, and would have to be immediately examined and checked.

Alec was taken off the ventilator successfully two days after the reconstructive surgery. Dr Clifford then explained to them that despite coming off it, he would like to keep Alec in the induced coma for a while longer, his vitals not quite as strong or stable as he would like.

“Ultimately, the rest will be the best thing for him,” the doctor explained during his daily briefing with Sebastian and the family.

“I don’t get it,” Jace said, stress raising his voice to a pitch that would embarrass him at any other time.

“You said he would be in the coma for a week. It’s been eight days! Why can’t you bring him out? Is he worse and you’re not telling us?”

As Jace had spoken, all eyes had turned to look at him, and Dr Clifford now watched as every head turned back to look at him like they were at some insane tennis match.

“He hasn’t gotten worse, no. I won’t ever lie to you all about his condition and where we are with it. Now as for the length of time, I was hopeful that a week would be all he needed, but I did say that it could be longer, and unfortunately, that’s where we find ourselves today.

Alec has made steady progress in his recovery, but it has been slower than I would have liked, so I’m not yet ready to take him off the medication keeping him under. When he wakes up, he’s going to have a lot to deal with, which is going to cause him a lot of stress. I would like his body to be a little stronger before he has to face that,” Dr Clifford explained.

“Of course, Doctor,” Maryse says softly, giving the doctor a grateful smile.

“Do you have any idea, when you will be able to wake him up?” She continued.

“I estimate another 3 to 4 days, but it will be a day by day decision, so we really have to wait and see.

“I see. Thank you again for everything you are doing to help him, Dr Clifford. It means the world to us,” she tells him, reaching out and grasping his hand gratefully when he extends his back to her.

“It’s my pleasure, Mrs Lightwood. He’s an incredible young man, your son. A strong fighter. I’m very much looking forward to actually meeting him in person.”

“I can promise you, Doctor,” Robert says gruffly, “you’ll be even more impressed when you do get to meet him.”

“I’m sure I will,” Dr Clifford says with a smile.

“Well, I’ll leave you all to your dinner, but I’m on call tonight, so if there’s any problems or you have any questions just have one of the nurses page me, ok?”

“We will. Thanks again Doc,” Jace says, shaking his hand before the doctor steps out.

Later that night, after everyone had eaten dinner and the elder Lightwood’s had left, taking an emotionally worn out Max with them, Jace left Izzy and Sebastian talking softly in the family room while he went in to sit with his brother.

“Hey, Alec. How are you going, big brother?”

Sitting quietly in the chair, he leaned forward and quietly leaned on the bed. He rested his head in one hand, while the other hand curled around his elbow, his face tilted slightly so he could look up at his brother lying still in his bed.

The swelling had gone down dramatically on Alec’s face over the last week, and for the most part, his bruises had faded to that greeny-yellow that could only be seen clearly in certain lights.

Strangely enough, though, Jace had a harder time recognising his brother now than he did that first night.

Alec had always been a quiet person, never one who felt the need to seek unnecessary attention, unlike Jace. But though Jace may have seen him sit still more times than he can remember, in front of an easel, caught up in a book, or merely listening to a friend or loved one with every ounce of concentration he possessed, Jace had never seen him so flat.

There was no expression in his face, and that’s what was foreign to Jace. There was always emotion on Alec’s face. Whenever he drew, a kind of peace fell over him, and he seemed to float in some private universe without stress or worry.

When he was with friends, a small half-smile hovered over his face nearly the entire time, like just being with those he loved was all he needed to feel happy.

When he laughed, his entire body moved with him, his head thrown back, his body rocking, letting himself go entirely.

When he got angry, every muscle on his body would tense and seem to vibrate, in it’s tension.

Alec was someone who felt everything deeply, and he was never without expression. Watching him now, Jace couldn’t help but fear that Alec had already left them, leaving behind this shell that they would constantly be watching over.

“I hate to break it to you Alec, but the Doc says you’re getting lazy. Says you’re not getting better as fast as he would have expected. I tried to tell him you’ve always been a lazy sod, but Mum threatened to kick my arse. Still, it would be nice if you could prove me wrong. It doesn’t happen very often, so it would be kind of like a memorable moment, don’t you think?” He said with a half-smile, his hand reaching out and giving Alec’s leg a gentle push at the same time.

“Seriously, Alec. I need you to start getting better, ok? I know you need to rest and recover, and that’s cool man. Take whatever time you need, just . . . Hurry back ok? I miss you,” he whispered brokenly.

Feeling a little overcome by the strength of emotion coursing through him, Jace stood up and walking around the bed, went and looked out the window on it’s other side.

“Hey, remember when I first came to live with you guys? After my parents died?” He said, turning back briefly to look at Alec before returning his gaze out the window.

“I always thought it was pretty brave of Robert and Maryse to invite me to live with them. You and I caused enough trouble as it was as best friends who only hung out for a few hours a day. They had to know that making us brothers who would be together 24 hours a day was a recipe for disaster.”

Jace continued to look out the window, and down at the lights of the city below them, as he reflected back on first joining the Lightwood family.

“I remember when I first moved in, I refused to talk to anybody but you,” Jace says brokenly, aware and uncaring of the tears on his face as he reminisced, too caught up in his memories.

“I must have annoyed the hell out of you, the way I followed you around. You never let on though. You were always there for me, letting me crash in your room, repeating questions I refused to answer from anyone else,” he chuckles.

“My whole world fell apart when they died, and you were the one that kept me from drowning, Alec.”

Turning back, he returned to his seat by Alec’s bedside.

“I promise, Alec. No matter what, I’m gonna be here for you now, just like you were for me then. It’s my turn to take care of you, brother.”

When Izzy walked into the room as an hour later, she found Jace asleep, his hand clutching Alec’s, with his head resting on top.

Giving her two brothers a soft smile, she pulled a second chair up and sat it close to Alec’s head, kissing Jace on the top of his head as she moved past him.

“Poor baby. I don’t think he’s hardly slept this entire week,” Izzy confesses to Alec softly.

“You, on the other hand, have done nothing but Alec. It’s all good, though. You take what rest you need. We’ll wait.”

As she looked over Alec’s features, she was glad to see the bruises and such disappearing from his face. His familiar, handsome features were starting to become clear again.

Now that the swelling had gone down from his face, Izzy was able to see the small scar that intersected his left eyebrow again.

Running a gentle fingertip over it, a soft smile fell over her face as she remembered the day it first appeared.

_“Izzy, what’s the matter?”_

_Sniffing, eight-year-old Izzy had looked up into the face of her adored older brother. At nine years old, Alec had bravely taken on the role of parent to his little sister when their parents had proved unequal to the task. A familiar concerned and protective look coming over his face, he pulled Izzy’s small frame into his embrace, his long and lean limbs looking awkward and bony, but feeling like heaven to her._

_“Jacob and his friends took my new whip from me,” she sobbed into his shoulder. Alec was uncaring that she was leaving a big wet patch on his shoulder as he looked across the playground to where his sister’s tormentors were now playing with said item. Having watched someone use one in an old western they had watched together a few months ago, young Izzy had become obsessed with them. Always looking for ways to make Izzy happy, Alec had taken all his hard-earned pocket money and bought her the best whip he could afford for her birthday just passed._

_Pulling her away from him slightly, he gave her a warm wink and a reassuring smile._

_“Leave it to me, Iz. I’ll get it back for you, ok? You wait here with Jace and Lydia.”_

_Izzy had watched with big, adoring eyes as Lydia pulled her down to sit next to her on the small bench. Alec marched his gangly frame over to the group of 9-year-olds currently holding her most prized possession, Jace following along, despite Alec’s request that he stay with Izzy, ready to back him up in a heartbeat._

_“Give it back,” she heard him say._

_“Or what, Lightwood?” Jacob sneered, secure in his top-dog status with his four buddies around to back him up._

_Unfazed by the older boys posturing, Alec had responded simply in a hard voice that seemed out of place coming from his small body._

_“Or I’ll take it back myself.”_

_“I’d like to see you try,” the other boy had laughed._

_He hadn’t been laughing though when Alec had not only tried but had succeeded in his efforts, Jace having quickly jumped in to support his best friend, one that in a few short months would become his brother._

_Izzy’s tremulous smile turning proud as she watched Alec and Jace walk back to her, her whip held at Alec’s side. There was a bruise forming on Jace’s cheek and a small cut carving through Alec’s left eyebrow, but that was nothing in comparison to the five boys groaning and rolling around dramatically on the ground behind them. As they reached her, Izzy wrapped her adoring arms back around his waist, happily ignoring the return of her whip for a moment as she showed her gratitude to her brother._

_Eventually, Lydia pulled her away slightly, telling them gently that Alec was dripping blood on her top._

_Grimacing in response, Izzy had grown concerned and joined Lydia back at their house in trying to patch him up with medical tape._

_Two days later, Maryse had noticed the bruising and cut above Alec’s eye and had had the housekeeper take him to the doctors for stitches. Still, unfortunately, the time in-between injury and treatment had caused a prominent scar to dissect his eyebrow._

Looking at the scar now, Izzy couldn’t help but remember so many other times that Alec had acted as her protector and hero. It was his nature. He could be sullen and standoff-ish to those he didn’t know, but to those he loved and cared for — he would blow up the very ground he stood on to make something right.

“You’re still my hero, Alec. Rest as much as you need, just make sure you come back to us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope that wasn’t too emotional for everyone. Next chapter Alec wakes up and learns what happened. For those that have been waiting, Magnus is appearing in Chapter Eight, so not too long left to wait.   
> I know I haven’t got an end chapter in the description above but currently I am looking at it being around 45 chapters, so I hope everyone is settled in for a long journey. I promise to make it as great a story as I can. Once I finish my other story, The Bachelor, this story will most likely move to weekly updates.  
> I hope this story finds you all happy, healthy and safe wherever you are.  
> As always, constructive criticism is welcome, but please be nice.  
> Comments and kudos fuel my writing so leave one below if you haven’t already and are so inclined.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec wakes up and is confronted with some hard truths about his new reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter:  
> * Talk of homophobia and homophobic attacks  
> * Injuries from attack  
> * Symptoms of TBI (traumatic brain injury) from violent attack  
> * Sitting vigil at a bedside in hospital  
> * Talk of medical procedures and practices  
> I think that is everything, but if you feel there is anything I missed that you want me to include or feel I should include, please let me know.

“Sebastian,” Robert said gently, trying not to startle the man as he came into the room.

“I thought you might want a coffee.” Handing the coffee over, Robert quietly took a seat on the other side of the bed, looking down at his son, still sleeping peacefully, despite having come off the drugs earlier in the day.

“Thank you, Robert,” Sebastian murmured, barely taking his eyes from Alec’s still form to look up and take the coffee cup. He spared a quick moment to flash a brief, distracted look at Robert, the corners of his mouth quirking up in what was the strongest attempt at an appreciative smile the exhausted man could manage.

“No problem,” Robert replied, sending a similarly exhausted grimace back to Sebastian.

“Any change?” 

“Not yet,” Sebastian replied sadly, his eyes moving slowly over Alec’s face, looking for any small twitch or flutter that might indicate that Alec was finally returning to them. 

It had taken two weeks and two days before Dr Clifford had been willing to take Alec off the barbiturates that had been keeping him under. Earlier this morning, the anesthesiologist had accompanied the neurosurgeon into Alec’s room to begin withdrawing the drugs from Alec’s system. That had been 9 hours ago. The two doctors had warned the waiting loved ones that it might take Alec some time to regain consciousness, due to the amount of time he’d been under. Somehow, none of them had expected it to take this long.

Looking up at Robert, Sebastian thought back to how much his relationship with the older man had changed these last two weeks. Before any of this had happened, they could barely exchange a civil word when forced into the same room, preferring to either ignore each other or use others as a go-between, avoiding direct interaction. 

Now, here they were sitting in the same room, exchanging soft words and lending each other silent support. They weren’t friends, there was way too much water under the bridge for that to happen, but they were no longer enemies either.

While he still couldn’t say that he actually liked Alec’s father, for the first time since he began dating Alec, he was finally able to see why his boyfriend had never walked away from the father who couldn’t accept him. Robert might struggle with Alec’s sexuality, and Sebastian wasn’t naive enough to believe that this attack had changed that, but he was willing to admit that Robert Lightwood truly loved his son, and was devoted to his children.

He wondered if it was that understanding that had softened his feelings toward the man, or if it was more to do with the fact that Robert’s attitude seemed to have softened in return. They hadn’t traded any harsh words or threats since that first night in the hospital, but the tension and animosity between them had remained those first few days, and the two had reverted back to their usual avoidance of each other.

Gradually though, things had changed. It had started with small things. Robert waking Sebastian from his armchair when the doctor came to give an update, or Robert waking with a blanket draped over him and his wife while they slept. A coffee or sandwich appearing in front of them, or merely another presence on the other side of Alec’s bed as they sat vigil.

For now, the two of them sat quietly together, watching and waiting. Maryse had just taken Max home for a hot dinner in a familiar environment, as the boy had become overwhelmed with the tense wait for his brother to wake up. Jace and Izzy had both just swapped out the bedside post and were currently off to go for a walk, with the promise they would pick up and bring back some dinner when they returned, to share with Robert and Sebastian.

That left Robert and himself sitting quietly, watching the man they both loved, hoping to see the smallest sign of his return. 

When it finally happened, Sebastian was sure he had imagined it, having wished for this moment so much. It wasn’t until he felt the second squeeze to his hand, as weak as it was, that he finally believed it was happening. 

As he leaned forward, he must have startled Robert, who had been sitting with his gaze fixed on Alec’s face. At Sebastian’s sudden movement, he too sat up straight.

“What is it?” Robert asked urgently.

“He squeezed my hand,” Sebastian replied. “Twice.”

As the two men exchanged a wide-eyed look, both quickly spun their gaze back to Alec, both quietly and desperately calling his name.

“Alec? Son? Can you hear us?”

“Alec? Baby, I’m here. Can you squeeze my hand again? Open your eyes, baby. Please?”

“Mrmph.” 

At the unintelligible groan, the two exchanged happy glances, forgetting all former animosity for a moment and sharing in their joy.

“Alec? Can you hear us? We’re here, son. We’re here,” Robert said brokenly, tears rolling unabashed down his cheeks as he gazed down at his eldest son’s fluttering eyelids.

The same tears rolling unaware down Sebastian’s face, he quickly reached up and pressed the call button above Alec’s bed, calling a nurse into the room.

“Alec, can you open your eyes for us?” Sebastian pleaded, desperate to know this wasn’t a trick and that Alec was actually waking up.

As two of the nurses came rushing into the room, the two men continued to talk to Alec, only stopping when they heard Alec groan in response.

“What’s going on?” Cat, one of Alec’s senior nurses, asked the two emotional men, her eyes immediately going to her patient. She quietly took note of the small eye movements occurring under the still closed lids and the quiet groans emerging from the slightly parted mouth and dry lips.

“He squeezed my hand! Twice! And we think he’s trying to talk?” Sebastian told her frantically, turning his head toward her slightly, but not taking his eyes off Alec, unwilling to miss the moment his eyes opened.

“Is he waking up? Is this it?” Robert asked, daring to drag his eyes away from his son to look at the nurse who had supported them through this all.

Giving the two men a gentle smile, Cat stepped forward and began studying the screens monitoring Alec’s vitals.

“Let’s have a look, shall we?”

As Robert and Sebastian anxiously watched the nurse as she moved her attention between Alec and his monitors, before turning to look at the 2nd nurse over her shoulder.

“Can you page Dr Clifford? It looks like we might be meeting Alec soon.”

After giving Robert and Sebastian a gentle smile, the other nurse nodded and moved out of the room, causing both men to turn back to Cat.

“So he is waking up?” Sebastian asked, hopefully.

“It looks like,” she told them cheerfully.

“It might still be a few minutes yet, and I’ll just prepare you, it might only be for a little while, anywhere from a few minutes to an hour. Ironically, waking up from such a deep sleep can be exhausting. But any sleep he has from here on out will be a natural sleep, barring any future complications.”

In response, Robert huffs out a small relieved chuckle, his breath moving shakily and loudly through his mouth as he finally began letting go of all the tension and fears of the last two weeks.

For his part, Sebastian had collapsed back into his chair and resumed staring at Alec, tears continuing to steadily fall down his face, grateful that the worse of all this was finally about to be behind them.

If only they knew that they were relaxing too early.

It turns out, that though Alec had technically ‘woken up’ he never actually regained consciousness enough to open his eyes and talk to those waiting for him. He responded to them by squeezing their hands in response to their squeezes or their voices and had groaned in response verbally when asked questions, but his eyes remained closed, despite fluttering for seconds at a time.

Both men were assured by Dr Clifford and Cat that this was not an uncommon response and that Alec was still on the road to recovery, and was officially out of his induced coma and now simply sleeping. 

It wasn’t until dawn was breaking the next day that Alec finally opened his eyes. 

This time, Sebastian was alone at the bed, with Jace and Izzy in the far corner, curled up in one of the two armchairs they had dragged in with Cat’s permission after returning with dinner last night to the news that their brother was ‘awake.’ 

Robert had been asleep in the second armchair until about 15 minutes ago, when he had gotten up to go for a walk, needing to stretch and call Maryse back with the news that there was no news after the night before.

When she had been told Alec was ‘waking’, she had wanted to rush straight back to his bedside, but with Robert’s assurances of the doctor’s optimism and prediction for more sleep yet, had decided to stay home and continue letting Max rest. The boy had fallen asleep a few minutes after stepping through the front door and stumbling up to his room. The two of them would be returning to the hospital soon, after she and Max had showered and grabbed some breakfast and coffees to bring in for everyone who had stayed the night.

Sebastian had spent most of the night merely staring at Alec. With exhaustion desperately clawing at every part of his body, he had lowered his head a couple of hours ago to the side of the bed, and still holding Alec’s uninjured hand in both of his, had fallen asleep. 

As he first rose back to consciousness, he was convinced he was surfacing within a dream, unable to count the number of times he had dreamed of Alec gently ruffling his hair, like he often would. It was usually an absentminded gesture, one he did without thought when his mind was otherwise occupied. 

Strangely though, this morning, dream Alec’s gentle ruffling, was becoming more insistent, almost painful as it pulled and tugged. Finally realising that it hurt too much for it to be a dream still, he pulled his head up and looking over, rendered breathless at finally seeing Alec’s blue eyes, once again locked onto his, however tired and unfocused they seemed.

“Alec?” He whispered brokenly.

Seeing Alec nod tiredly in response, Sebastian didn’t even try to bite back the sob bursting out of his throat as he threw himself forward and onto Alec, remembering at the last second to be gentle when he finally embraced him.

For a second, Alec seemed frozen, until the hand that previously had been tugging at his hair, came up and awkwardly patted his back, as Sebastian continued to cry, his head buried in Alec’s neck.

The noise must have roused his siblings, as next thing, Sebastian heard the two of them speak Alec’s name before they too came rushing over and threw themselves on their brother. Sebastian pulled back to give them room, as he happily looked over at Alec, the two of them sharing a gentle look, before Alec’s attention was drawn back to his brother and sister.

Eventually, Izzy and Jace straightened up, and Alec tried to speak. Hearing the dryness of his throat as sounds began to croak out in unintelligible speech, Izzy got up to get some water for him, while Sebastian once more reached forward to press the call button for the nurse.

“How are you feeling, Alec?” Sebastian asked, his thumb softly rubbing absentmindedly over Alec’s hand as he smiled down at him.

Alec tried to speak again after taking a small sip of the water through a straw that Izzy was holding out in front of him.

“Wh-wh-where?” He pushed out brokenly, his brows lowering worriedly as he looked around the room.

“You’re in the hospital, Alec,” Jace told him gently, his hand patting Alec’s shoulder reassuringly.

Sebastian could see Alec beginning to form another word, but before he could, the group heard the sound of a door opening, and as one they all looked over to see Cat enter the room.

“So you’re awake are you, sweetie?” She said kindly, seeing Alec’s eyes open as he watched her approach.

Stepping up next to Sebastian, she smiled down at Alec as she introduced herself and began talking to him. Alec seemed to settle under her kind and firm tone, watching her carefully as she spoke while checking the monitors.

“Alec, my name is Caterina, but most people call me Cat. I’ve been one of the nurses caring for you here at Angel Memorial Hospital.

Now, I know you’re going to have lots of questions, and whatever your family can’t answer, one of your doctors or I will. For now, we need to just run a check on your vitals, ok. Make sure you’re as healthy as you are handsome,” she said with a smile and a small wink, looking down at Alec. “I’ve already paged one of the residents to come and see you, and your chief doctor, Dr Clifford, is on his way in. We had to wake him up, but he’s very eager to meet you, so I don’t think he minded too much.”

As Cat finished her assessment of Alec’s condition and seemed happy with it, she took a break in her quiet movements around the bed and, tilting her head, focused on looking directly at Alec.

“How are you feeling, sweetie? Any pain?”

At Alec’s slow nod, she nodded back in understanding.

“I thought so. We’re going to get you set up with a self-administered pain management drip once Dr Clifford has looked you over, but in the meantime, I’ll get you some tablets to take. They’re dissolvable, so you just need to slip them under your tongue. You haven’t eaten or drunk much in some time, so we want to take it easy on your throat and stomach for the first 24 hours or so.

I’m going to go and get your meds, but is there anything you want to ask me before I go? I’ll only be gone a few minutes.”

As Alec shook his head, she looked at him consideringly for a few seconds, before leaning forward slightly in a conspiratorial manner.

“Do you think you’ll be ok if I leave you alone with these yahoo’s for a bit? The blond ones are shifty-looking if you ask me,” she asked with another wink.

Sebastian was about to object alongside Jace’s “Hey!” When he saw Alec grin slightly in response, and suddenly rather than want to object, he fought the desire to hug Cat.

“I’m g-g-good,” Alec told her weakly, his grin still on his face.

“Alright then. I’ll be back soon. And you three behave and remember he’s just woken up and no one likes to be badgered when they just wake up!” She told the three standing sternly.

As a chorus of “yes Cat” followed her out the door, they turned their attention back to Alec.

Nodding his head to the water still held in Izzy’s hand, Alec gave her a grateful smile when she brought the straw back to his mouth.

“W-wh-wh-what happened?” He murmured tiredly as he lay back again.

“We can talk about it later, Alec,” Izzy told him, cutting off Sebastian and Jace who were also just about to speak.

“All that matters is that you are awake and back with us. There’s lots of time to talk later.”

The rest of the day followed in stops and starts. Alec stayed awake long enough to take Cat’s medication and see his Father come back from his walk, but had fallen asleep again minutes later. Robert had been thrilled to see his son awake and had immediately pulled his son in for a gentle hug, mindful of his injuries but unable to curb the craving to cradle him as he did when he was young. 

Maryse had done the same thing when Alec awoke mid-morning to find her in the room, while Max had excitedly watched from beside the bed, happy now that his brother was awake.

That had also been when Alec met Dr Clifford for the first time.

Alec still seemed to be quite confused as to why he was in the hospital, and while he continued to ask everyone what happened, he never stayed awake long enough that they couldn’t avoid answering.

He tried his best when it came to Dr Clifford, though. Perhaps he thought that the stranger was more likely to give him a straight answer.

“Well, hello, young Alec!” Dr Clifford exclaimed as he strode into the room and saw his patient awake.

“It’s nice for you to finally join us. I’m Dr Clifford, one of your doctors. How are you feeling?”

“S-s-s-sore, tired,” Alec croaked out.

“Well that’s to be expected, I’m afraid. You’ve gone through quite the trauma,” the doctor told him understandingly.

“W-wh-what happened?” Alec asked.

“You took a blow to the head that knocked you around some. You also did some damage to your hand, but Dr Matthews is taking care of you there, and she’ll be in to talk to you soon.”

Alec looked over to his right hand for the first time and noticed the extensive bandaging and framing surrounding it. Though he’d been waking on and off throughout the day, he had been tired and unfocused each time, taking note of very little around him.

Now, his family watched as his eyes widened in horror as he lifted his hand and began to study it a little closer.

“No! Wh —“

“Alec! I need you to remain calm,” Dr Clifford told him sternly. 

His family watched as Alec turned panicked eyes to Dr Clifford before looking back at his hand.

“Wha—?” He began asking again, as tears welled up in his eyes. 

Maryse watched heartbroken, as her beautiful boy took in the truth of what had happened, even as he knew so little of it.

She had spoken to Dr Matthews only yesterday, knowing that Alec’s first thought would be for his hand and the future of his career as an artist. 

Seeing Alec’s broken gaze turn to her, his eyes filled with horror and heartache, Maryse stepped forward with a gentle smile. 

“I spoke with Dr Matthews yesterday, Alec. She thinks with some extensive rehab. You should be able to regain all your previous strength and skill. You haven’t lost anything in terms of your art other than a little time,” she tells him reassuringly.

This wasn’t precisely what Dr Matthews had said. When Maryse has asked, the doctor had told her that with extensive rehab, he should be able to regain enough strength to live a relatively normal life. His art was an unknown factor, though. 

“It’s uncertain what skill he’ll be able to recover in terms of his art,” Dr Matthews had explained gently. She was well used to peoples careers and livelihoods being in her hands, having operated on more than a few artists and athletes in her career.

“But he can recover fully?” Maryse asked fear of the answer colouring her voice.

“There is a very small chance that he will recover fully, but having seen his work that you have shared with me, I would prepare myself, and him for the possibility that he will never regain the delicacy needed for that level of detail. It wasn’t just his bones that were damaged, but his tendons and muscles also. They’re unlikely to be able to retain a grip, especially for long periods like he used to.”

Seeing the devastation on his mother’s face, she tried to offer a moment of solace.

“With hard work, he can still have a career as an artist, it’s just unlikely to be the same one he expected to have before.”

For now, Maryse watched as her words allowed her son some measure of peace and reassurance, and as he gave her a grateful watery smile, she smiled back and stepped forward to squeeze his foot gently.

Smiling at the exchange between mother and son, Dr Clifford allowed the slightly misleading statement to pass. He knew his patient was unlikely to ever retain his former skill, and whatever career he was able to make as an artist would be vastly different from what he had once envisioned. However, he was a firm believer in the power of positive thought. He didn’t believe injuries could miraculously heal, as he was a true man of science. However, he did believe, that working alongside science, faith could inspire a patient to fight for the best outcome, and that was something he approved of.

“Ok, now that the important question is out of the way, how about we check how that head of yours is recovering?” He asked with a smile.

At Alec’s nod, Dr Clifford began.

“Ok, so I’m going to ask you a few questions, but I don’t want you to worry if you can’t answer some at this time, ok? You’ve just woken up, and I’m expecting you to miss more than you answer. I just need to establish a baseline to monitor your recovery going forward, ok?”

Dr Clifford watches as Alec tries to answer but stumbles slightly on the word first.

“O-ok.”

“Ok. Now, can you tell me your full name?”

“A-A-A-Alex-x-xander G-G-Gideon Lightwood”

“Good. Can you tell me what year it is Alec?”

As Alec struggles to remember the year, Jace watches, fighting the instinct to provide him with the answer and wipe out his stress. As Alec gives a tiny shake of his head, indicating he doesn’t know the answer, Jace can hold silent no more.

“I think all of us would like to forget 2020, doc.”

“That we would,” Dr Clifford agrees as the others share a fake laugh.

Turning back to Alec, the doctor continues his questions.

“Can you tell me where you are, Alec?”

“H-h-hospital.”

“Good. In what city?”

They watch again, as Alec struggles about for the answer before he looks up at the doctor hopefully.

“York New City?”

“Pretty close. I’ll take it. Now, can you raise your good hand to touch mine?”

Izzy feels tears spill from her eyes as Alec raises a shaky hand but is unable to direct it to where Dr Clifford’s waits. After a few seconds of struggle, Dr Clifford moves his hand over Alec’s and helps lower it back to the bed.

“It’s alright, Alec. You’ve done good, but I think we’re going to leave it here for today ok?” He says with a soft look.

As Alec gives him a small flash of a smile, Dr Clifford gives him a smile back and nods his acknowledgement to the family as he leaves, reminding them all that Alec will still be tired and needing rest.

Alec watches as the doctor, who’s name he’s already forgotten leaves the room. 

He can’t help but feel that whatever that test was the doctor just gave him, he failed it miserably. The scary part of it was, even now as the door is still closing behind him, he can’t remember exactly what it was the doctor asked him.

Looking up, he sees the concerned and scared faces of his family, and he can’t help but feel their fear start to take control of him. Try as he might, he can’t remember what happened to him, but he knows that whatever it was, was bad; his family’s faces telling him how bad.

Swallowing down his fear, he tries to talk, finding himself once more frustrated by his struggle to produce simple words.

“I’m a l-l-little t-t-tired,” he tries to explain. 

He’s grateful when his father smiles understandingly and begins to gather everyone.

“Alright, everyone. You heard him. He needs his rest. Let’s leave him be for a little bit and let him get some more sleep.”

“T-th-thanks dad,” he pushes out, giving him a grateful smile.

“Don’t mention it, kiddo. You just get some rest, ok?”

“I will,” he says with a small nod that shoots pain straight up through his neck.

“Seb, will you s-s-st-stay?” Alec asks, looking at his boyfriend and letting him know without words what he needed.

“Of course, I will,” Sebastian promises, moving back to let Alec’s family pass by before moving back to the seat by the bed.

As Alec watches his father pass by, he can’t help but feel a little surprised when Robert places his hand on Seb’s shoulder and murmurs “take care of hm” before stepping out of the room. Deciding he’d ask about it another time, he manages to hold on until the door shuts behind Robert, before the sobs rumble out of his chest and the tears spill over.

“Shhh, it’s ok, baby. I got you, you’re safe. It’s all going to be ok now.”

Alec lets himself be held as much as possible while in bed, from within the safety of his boyfriend’s arms as he finally lets go of the overwhelming terror and grief currently flooding him. He couldn’t tell you if you asked, why he was so terrified or why he felt so out of control, but he did know that he felt if he wasn’t held tight enough, he would simply fall apart.

So he let him boyfriend hold him and whisper reassurances in his ear as he fell asleep and desperately tried to convince himself that he believed Sebastian when he assured him that it was all going to be ok now.

It was two days before Alec was able to stay awake longer than a couple of hours and comprehend and remember things that were told to him.

He was currently lying in bed, Jace and Max by his side while Cat moved around the room, checking vitals and changing out various bags that did what he didn’t know.

He grinned in amusement as Cat continued to tease Jace, eagerly looking back and forth between the two and sharing the odd amused look with Max.

“Now, Jason, I know this can be hard for you to comprehend, but your charms are not as strong as you think they are, so if you leave another mess in the family room like I found this morning, I will personally put you on bedpan duty.”

“It’s Jace. And how do you even know it was my mess?” Jace asked indignantly.

Alec fought to keep the laughter inside as Cat looked over at him with an indulgently exasperated look, much as you would give a child who touched the hot stove, 5 seconds after you told them not to.

“Oh, honey. Who else would it belong to?”

“There are other people here! And not just our family, but families of other patients too! Maybe it was one of them,” he tells her.

“I’ll tell you what. Let’s pretend for now that it was someone else who is leaving their peanut shells all over the room, and by the way, you have crumbs on your shirt,” she tells him distractedly, causing Jace to frantically start brushing down his shirt, “and we’ll just agree that in the future, you’ll keep your shit tidy, ok?”

“Yes ma’am,” Jace says sheepishly, looking down at the ground. The annoyed look on his face, finally breaking Alec and Max’s control.

Swallowing down his giggles, Alec turned his face up to Cat, missing the happy smile Jace gave him at hearing his laugh.

“Cat, I w-w-was w-wondering if we can lift the v-v-visit limit? M-maybe allow more than t-t-two people at a time in?” 

Giving her a winning smile, Alec put on his best puppy dog eyes that Sebastian could never resist.

“Oh, do not give me those eyes, handsome. My best friend has used them to excess on me, and they have lost their charm,” she tells him with a withering smile. “Though I will grant that you pull them off better than Magnus does.”

“You have a friend named Magnus?” Jace asked with a mocking laugh.

“Yes, I do, Jace. Do you have a problem with unusual names, Jace?” She asked the extra emphasis on his name, making Max renew his giggles, while Jace sat back with another huff.

Swallowing down his own chuckle, Alec turned back to Cat. 

“S-so, the limit?”

“I’ll have a talk to your doctor and see if it’s ok,” she tells him with a smile, as she turned to leave. 

“Thank you, C-c-cat!” 

“You’re welcome, Sweetie!”

As Cat walked out, she held the door open for Sebastian and Izzy, who were coming back in.

Cat stopped as the two new people entered the room. Turning back to Alec, she looked around the room and then began raising her fingers one at a time.

One, two, three, four . . . Her eyes connecting with each of them, before finally settling on Alec. 

“M-m-maybe we c-c-can have a t-t-trial run of the increased limit, so we can sh-sh-show Dr Clifford how w-well it works?” He asked, offering up his puppy dog eyes once more.

“Actually,” Izzy interrupted, “Mum and Dad are waiting to take Max home, I promised I’d make you all scram so they can come in and say goodbye.”

As one, they all turn to look at Cat.

Rolling her eyes and heaving a huge sigh, she finally relented.

“Fine!,” she huffed. “They can come and say goodbye without anyone leaving.”

As everyone started cheering, she quickly interrupted.

“Five minutes! And then I want half of you to leave!”

“I l-l-l-love you Cat!” Alec called out.

Popping her head back around the door, she blew him a kiss.

“I love you too, sweetie. I’ll let your parents know they’re good to come in.”

“Th-th-thanks.”

A couple of minutes after Cat leaving, Robert and Maryse walked in to say goodnight and collect Max.

“Do I have to go?” Max asked as he shuffled slowly to the door. He’d been enjoying having his brother back with them and was reluctant to leave now that Alec was finally awake and talking.

“Yes, you have to come home,” Maryse told him with a smile.

“You can come back and hang out with your brother tomorrow, Max,” Robert promised as Maryse walked over to give Alec a kiss goodnight.

“But —“

“Tomorrow, Max!” Robert reiterated.

“Fine!” Max huffed, coming over to give Alec a hug.

“I’ll s-s-see you t-t-t-tomorrow, buddy,” Alec told him, giving Max a one-armed hug in return.

“Bye, Alec,” Max said as he straightened up and followed his Mum out.

“I’ll see you in the morning, son, ok?” Robert murmured down to Alec, giving his foot under the blankets a soft squeeze.

“Night, Dad.”

“You kids behave yourselves and make sure your brother gets some rest, ok.”

“We will.”

“Night, Dad.”

“Night, Robert.”

The four young adults are silent as the two elders and the youngest leave the room.

“S-s-so,” Alec says expectantly.

His two siblings and Sebastian exchange bewildered looks.

“So what, hermano?” Izzy asks with a cheeky grin.

“S-so, now that Mum and Dad have l-l-left and t-taken Max with them, you g-g-g-guys can finally tell me w-w-wh-what happened,” Alec tells them firmly.

Alec watches as they begin to exchange elusive looks and deliberately turn their gazes away from him. He’d been trying to find out the truth for the last two days since he’d woken, but his parents had been firm that he didn’t need to worry about that now, and had refused to let anyone tell him.

Now that his parents were gone and he was for once feeling alert and somewhat like himself, he was determined to find out what no one wanted him to know.

“I-I-I-I’ll have to know even-event—“Alec closed his eyes and tried to swallow down a grimace as once more his words got stuck in his throat. 

It had been this way since he woke. Dr Clifford told him that as his brain settled, there was a good chance that the stutter would fade away for the most part. He’d also told him that it would most likely reappear in times of stress or fatigue.

In Alec’s mind, this was all the more reason to find out what had happened to him as soon as possible. He’d never been one to hide away hard truths, at least not from himself. He might not let others in quickly, but he preferred to deal with things head-on when it came to his own mind, finding his stress and tension just increased the more he ignored his problems.

Swallowing down the fear of how much his life had possibly changed from this event he couldn’t remember, Alec tried to force his mind and body, particularly his throat, to relax. Once he felt some of the tension drain, he tried again.

“Eventually. I-I-I’ll have to k-k-know eventually.”

Watching the indecision on his siblings’ faces, he turned to look at Sebastian instead.

“Please, Seb? It can’t be w-w-worse than what you’re all l-l-l-letting me imagine by n-n-not telling me,” he pleaded.

He lay quietly, watching as they all came to a silent agreement.

“What do you remember about that night we went out, Alec? When we were celebrating you getting the Herondale Scholarship?” Jace asked gently.

Casting his mind back, Alec tried to focus on the day and night in question.

“Not that m-much,” Alec confessed. “I remember Hodge c-c-c-calling me into his office, I remember . . . “Blushing slightly at the memory, Alec gave Sebastian a knowing grin.

“I remember . . . C-c-celebrating with Seb at home —“ 

“Eww! No! No details!” Jace called out, hands up as though he were trying to push away Alec’s words.

“Oh relax!” Sebastian told Jace, rolling his eyes. “He is not going to give you any details of the hot, sweet sex we enjoyed right before we met up with you all for drinks.”

Grinning with Sebastian and Izzy as Jace let out an exaggerated full-body shudder, Alec felt Sebastian’s words unlock another part of his memory.

“We w-w-went to th-the Hunter’s M-moon to c-c-celebrate. Th-th-there was a drunk . . . “ Alec said softly, calling everyone’s attention back to him.

Izzy looked at him with concern in her eyes as she continued his story and refreshed his memories.

“He was giving Lily a hard time,” she said softly. “You put a stop to it, and he didn’t like that.”

“C-cocksucker,” Alec whispered.

“What’d you say, buddy?” Jace asked softly, leaning in to touch his shoulder.

“He c-c-c-called me a c-c-c-cocksucker, and a f-f-fag,” Alec confessed softly.

“The guy was a fucking asshole, Alec,” Sebastian said vehemently, while Jace continued to watch him closely from the other side, Izzy flicking her gaze between all three of them. “He was an asshole, and if there’s any justice, he’s going to spend the rest of his life in jail.”

It took a second for Alec to register his words, but when he did, he looked up at his boyfriend sharply.

“H-h-h-he did th-this to me?” He demanded, his old strength sounding in his voice as much as it ever had.

Realising that he may have said too much, Sebastian leaned back nervously in his chair and cast his gaze to Izzy and Jace in a silent plea of support. A plea Jace answered as Izzy observed quietly.

“He came at you with a pipe, Alec. When we were outside and saying goodbye, he came out from where he’d been hiding in the alley and hit you with a pipe,” Jace said softly, his eyes locked on his brother, silently begging him to stay calm.

Alec could tell from their expressions that they were expecting to see his old fire emerge. 

After coming out to his parents, Alec had refused to take crap from anyone for his sexuality. He would stay silent in his own defence, only in the presence of his father, recognising and appreciating the effort the older man was putting in to moving past his prejudices. For everyone else, Alec refused to back down, proudly acknowledging his life and who he chose to love.

As he let Jace’s words clamour about in his head though, he felt no fire, no desire to defend himself and his love. Instead, he felt fear. Up till now, he’d fought back, secure in the knowledge that he had people in his corner and years of training to defend himself. Foolishly, he’d thought that was enough to keep him safe. 

Now he knew different.

Now he knew that hate could, and would win.

Someone had hated him so much that he’d come after him with a pipe and tried to end his life. Or at least ruin it beyond repair. And all because of who he loved. He’d never been safe, and that knowledge now came crashing down upon him like a tidal wave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I haven’t let up on the emotional weight of the story yet, but there will be a little light coming in chapter eight and from there on it should be a little lighter for quite a few chapters. I have just started writing chapter eight so I can confirm that Magnus makes his first big appearance in that chapter, but I hope you all enjoyed the little teaser I added in here.  
> I hope everyone is safe happy and healthy wherever you are, and taking care of yourselves and appreciating the ones you love and that they are appreciating you in return.
> 
> As always, constructive criticism is welcomed but please be nice. Comments and kudos fuel my passion to keep writing so drop on below if you haven’t already.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec struggles to deal with the aftermath of his attack and all that it entails.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter:  
> * Talk of injuries and associated risks  
> * Talk of homophobia  
> * Physical results of physical attack and traumatic brain injury
> 
> I think that’s everything for this chapter but if you feel there is anything I missed that you want me to include or feel I should include, please let me know.

He’d pleaded fatigue not long after the revelation from his boyfriend and siblings. Giving them a tired smile, and letting his eyes droop convincingly he’d told them that he really needed to sleep, but he’d see them all in the morning. They’d all wanted to stay with him while he’d slept, but he’d begged them to go home and get a decent nights sleep finally. As they’d started to argue with him, he’d paged Cat and asked her for something to help him sleep, to convince them to go. 

She’d initially begun to refuse, knowing it wasn’t usually a good idea to introduce more drugs into his system after he’d just awoken and also knowing he’d had no trouble sleeping thus far. However, seeing how his eyes couldn’t settle, and his good hand shook and repeatedly tapped against his leg, she instead promised to see what she could do. 

After making a phone call to Dr Clifford, she got permission for a mild sedative, and as she came to administer it, she understood what it was that Alec really wanted.

“Ok, everyone out. We broke the limit and had a little party as you young-uns are known to do, and now I need you trouble makers out of here so my patient can get a good nights sleep without you all bugging him.”

As the three of them began protesting, she spoke again, her tone of voice making it clear that she was immovable in her decision.

“Everyone out until breakfast tomorrow or I’ll have you out of here permanently. Understood?”

Realising they were not going to win this fight and secretly looking forward to a night at home in bed, now that Alec was out of danger, they had agreed.

Alec had smiled in return as Jace had grasped his good hand in a warrior’s grip and given him a one-armed hug. Izzy had leaned over and placed a kiss on his forehead as he softly told her goodnight. Sebastian had frowned somewhat though, when, after bending down to give Alec a goodnight kiss, Alec had turned his head to the side slightly, causing Sebastian’s lips to land on his jaw instead.

To try and make up for the obvious snub, he’d given his boyfriend a soft smile and squeezed his hand warmly as he murmured goodnight.

“Night Alec,” he’d returned with a soft smile of his own.

“Love you.”

“I love you t-t-too, Seb.”

That had been three weeks ago, and things had not continued as any of them had hoped. 

Alec’s cognitive rehab had begun, which interestingly enough involved lots of physical tasks. He’d been allowed to first get out of bed four days after waking up. Surprisingly for Alec, and quite expectedly for his doctor’s, the blow to his head had created quite a shift in Alec’s balance and coordination. 

He was now sitting back in his room, as Dr Clifford delivered his latest results after a P.T. Session this morning.

“You’re motor skills will return, Alec. You just have to be patient,” Dr Clifford assured him.

“It’s been th-th-three w-weeks Doc. How patient do I h-h-h-have to b-b-be?”

“Alec the blow to your skull caused a traumatic brain injury —“

“I kn-know this!” Alec interrupted loudly.

As Dr Clifford gave him a patient yet firm look, Alec sat back in his chair by the bed with a quiet huff.

“As I was saying,” the doctor continued calmly, “The blow to your skull caused a traumatic brain injury, and because of that, your brain has to learn some new pathways to complete the tasks it used to know so easily.

Now, we’ve looked at your scans, and though we can see some dark spots, none of them should permanently affect your motor control. It’s merely going to be a matter of teaching your body how to perform these tasks again.”

Alec had heard this information before and was having just as much trouble believing it now as he did the first time. 

In the weeks since waking, Dr Clifford had performed a series of scans to monitor Alec’s brain damage. The last test had shown that there was still some bruising causing a little shadowing to the part of the brain that controlled motor functions, including balance and speech. This gave the various doctors hope that Alec would be able to go through his days, for the most part, free of physical restraints. He had been warned that for this to be the case, he would have to ensure he stayed physically healthy, eating right and ensuring he got enough rest and avoided stress.

There had been signs of permanent damage to his cognitive process, though. His memory had been affected, and he had trouble processing and cataloguing short term memories correctly, including retaining a correct time-line in his mind. He got easily confused with what was said this morning, yesterday or last week.

His prospective memory had also proven to be quite shaky, meaning that he could make plans on the phone for a visitor to come in later that day, and then be completely surprised when they arrived. Dr Clifford explained, that essentially, his brain had trouble ‘remembering to remember’ and that going forward, he would have to work hard to remember plans and appointments he made, using a diary of some kind to keep track of things.

He had also remained unable to remember the later events of the night of his attack. Despite his best efforts, he could not get past confronting the man in the bar and watching him walk away. He didn’t remember coming back to the table or leaving the bar after.

Dr Clifford had told him that this last memory was likely to never return to him. He also told them that though there were exercises he could do to help with his short-term and prospective memory, he would need to find ways to live with these from now on, and an occupational therapist had been assigned to him to help with this task. To say that Alec was not patient about any of this was an understatement. 

Today’s dispute had arisen when Alec had fallen once more in the P.T. (Physical Therapy) room. He had been shuffling along between a set of parallel bars and trying to gently kick a ball, alternating feet as he walked.

He had mastered walking unassisted by the end of his first week, quicker than his physical therapist, Lorenzo, had told him he was likely to do. Bolstered by that, Alec had then expected other tasks to be as easy, but unfortunately, this was not proving to be the case. He could master physical tasks if it was the only thing he had to focus on, like walking. Tell him to walk across the room unaided, and he could do it. 

The moment a second task was introduced, his body faltered, unable to retain focus on the two commands Alec’s damaged brain was giving it.

Lorenzo had told him that this might be the case, which is why he’d been told to shuffle the ball between the parallel bars, and use the bars as support, so his body only had to focus on the movements and not also rely on strength. Alec had been stubborn though and had refused to hold the bars, much to Sebastian’s frustration.

“Damn it, Alec! You’re going to fall! Will you just hold onto the bars like Lorenzo told you to!” Sebastian demanded, somehow managing to shout the quiet words he directed at his struggling boyfriend.

“Will you sh-sh-shut up, Seb! I k-k-know what my body c-c-can and can’t do!” Alec had told him forcefully, despite the shaking in his legs and the fact that Sebastian’s outburst had been prompted by a near fall, mere seconds ago. Only Lorenzo’s quick hands had prevented Alec from hitting the ground.

“Sebastian’s right, Alec. Your body needs to relearn how to do all of this. There’s no shame in taking your time and doing it right, ok?” Lorenzo had told him gently, his arm ghosting Alec’s waist from behind as Alec continued to move between the bars without holding on.

“I c-can do it!” Alec said stubbornly.

“Stop being so stubborn, Alec! Just hold on!” 

“S-s-s-stop telling me what to do, you’re not my G-G-Goddamn father!” Alec yelled back, his face set in a hard look that Sebastian may have seen before, but until recently had never seen directed at him.

“Who knows who the hell I am anymore, Alec.”

He’d just started to walk to the other side of the room in frustration when he’d heard Alec curse behind him.

Trying to move his right leg forward to give the ball a small kick, Alec had lifted it too much and caused it to come down on top of the ball instead. That small act had been too much for his body to correct and he had immediately fallen to the side, softly knocking his head on one of the parallel bars on the way down.

He’d told them he was fine, but Lorenzo had insisted that Alec was done for the day and had called Dr Clifford who had insisted Alec go straight for a CAT scan. 

Now he was stuck back in his hospital room, feeling frustrated and helpless by his lack of progress, and being lectured with words he was almost certain he had heard before.

“Now, your skull is fragile, Alec,” Dr Clifford continued as Jace watched from a corner, Sebastian having headed out the second he heard Alec’s scans were clear. “And so is the brain it is trying to protect. A knock to the wrong place could be fatal, so you will have to be careful. If you are told to use the parallel bars, I want you to use the parallel bars.”

“Fine,” Alec answered, a little more sulkily than he would have liked.

Seeing the frustration in his patient, Dr Clifford squatted down in front of him to make sure he could catch his eye, wanting to get his point across.

“I know this is frustrating, Alec. I know how scary it is to not have control over your body, your speech or even your mind anymore. But I’m trying to tell you that it’s going to get better. I need you to believe that. You are going to get better. Now maybe you won’t get back to where you once were, but believe me when I tell you that that does not mean your life is over. You still have a full life in front of you, and with enough patience and determination, there is nothing you won’t be able to do. You’re just going to have to learn new ways of doing things.”

Alec nodded softly as the doctor finished speaking; his eyes blurring his vision as he fought not to release the tears that were threatening to drop.

“Th-thanks Doc,” he said, giving the man a tremulous smile.

“Anything for my favourite patient.”

“Be honest Doc,” Jace said with a smile, ever ready to break the tension. “You say that to all your patients, don’t you? Really, Alec annoys you as much as he annoys us.”

Alec turned and gave his brother the finger in response, before giving him a big smile, as Jace winked at him. He knew Jace had made the joke, to relieve the tension and allow Alec a chance to breathe.

“I most certainly do not,” Dr Clifford said with a pointed look. “Alec is the epitome of a perfect patient. It’s the family members that give you the trouble,” he said with a smile.

“Nice one, Doc,” Jace told him with a grin.

Giving Jace a wink in return, Dr Clifford nodded to the two of them in goodbye and headed out.

“How are you doing buddy?’ Jace asked once they were alone.

“Fine.’

“Oh, now there’s an answer I believe,” Jace said with a wide grin. “Every time one of my girlfriend’s answered ‘fine’ to a question, I would run and hide,” Jace said with a grimace.

Letting out a chuckle, Alec looked at his brother and felt himself relaxing for the first time in weeks. It was always like this between them. Where others might see Jace as a fool or clown, Alec knew the intention behind his seemingly careless actions. Jace hated to see those he loved suffering and would do anything to bring a smile to their face if he could. Either that or his own emotions were threatening to overwhelm him, and he needed to find release somehow.

Seeing the understanding look Jace was giving him now, Alec knew that this time he’d been looking out for his brother. He knew what had happened to Jace’s parents had been an awful tragedy, and he would never have wished for it, but he couldn’t help but be grateful for it as well. As terrible as he felt for acknowledging it, Jace’s parents’ deaths had brought about one of the best changes in his life. His best friend had become his brother, and his parents had remembered they loved their children. It was his greatest shame, that if he’d had the chance to go back in time to change it, he wouldn’t.

“You want to tell me how you’re really doing?” Jace asked again.

“I’m s-scared,” Alec whispered, feeling the tears well up once more. This time he had no chance of keeping them in, and truthfully he didn’t want to. Jace was his safe haven. The one person he didn’t have to pretend with or try to be strong for because he’d seen Jace break down as much as he’d seen Alec.

“Well, thank God you finally admitted it,” Jace answered, sitting himself at the bottom of Alec’s bed while Alec sat in the chair.

“Maybe now we can start dealing with it,” he told Alec softly.

As Alec lowered his head back down, Jace kept talking, softly letting his brother know he was here, and he wasn’t going anywhere.

“There’s no shame in being scared, Alec. All of us are scared, and we weren’t the ones who got hurt. You’ve gone through something huge, and it’s not over yet, so give yourself a break, would you? Let us help you and be there for you, and stop trying to push yourself so damn hard. You’re going to get there, Alec, I promise. I have never once known you to fail, and I’ll be right by your side as you succeed at this too. We all will. But we need you to take care of yourself, ok?”

At this point, Jace was crying himself, his words falling to a plea as he looked at his brother and best friend.

“We need you to be ok, cause you’re our fucking superhero, Alec, and we need our superhero. You hear me?”

“I h-h-hear you,” Alec promised.

“Good,” Jace said, settling back against the end of the bed, sniffing and discretely wiping under his eyes. He briefly looked around the room before settling his gaze back on Alec.

“So what’s going on with you and Sebastian?”

Alec felt himself tense up slightly as he heard the question, and looking up, gave his brother a questioning gaze.

“Wh-wh-what do you mean?”

“Come on, Alec. The two of you haven’t exactly been getting along lately. I know this is a tense time, but you’re not fighting like this with anyone else. Hell, you and Robert have never gotten along better, than you have since all this happened.”

That was certainly true, Alec reflected. He’d found himself almost craving time with his father since he woke up; asking for him when he wasn’t here, and looking for his approval and support at every PT, OT or scan he underwent.

In contrast, he’d almost avoided Sebastian’s company, or a version of avoidance when he was still bound to a hospital bed and easily found. 

“I’m d-d-disappointing him,” Alec said sadly. “Every time I l-l-look at him, I s-s-see it in his eyes and I c-can’t s-s-stand it. I w-w-wish he’d just l-leave me already and g-g-g-get it over with,” Alec tells him bitterly.

“What the hell are you talking about, man?” Jace asked dumbfounded. “Sebastian loves you! He has been here every day, worried and scared because he loves you.”

“You can be w-w-w-worried and s-scared and s-s-s-still be disappointed, Jace. O-o-one doesn’t rule out the other.”

“Alec, he’s not disappointed in you. Why would you even say that?”

“Because it’s t-t-true! Just y-y-yesterday w-when I f-f-fell during th-th-therapy, he was w-w-watching me try to kick the damn b-b-ball and I c-c-could s-see it on his face.”

Seeing how upset his brother was getting, Jace didn’t mention that it had been this morning that Alec had fallen, and not the day before. He did try to give his brother some reassurance, though.

“Alec, he’s not disappointed in you. He’s disappointed for you. We all are. He just wants you to be well again so he can see you happy. He loves you, Alec.”

“Yeah,” Alec sighed softly in response, “I kn-know he does.” Fighting the fear that that love wasn’t going to be enough, Alec spoke again, telling Jace without words he wanted to move on.

“So, s-s-speaking of g-g-g-girlfriends, wh-who’s the latest?” He asked with a grin full of cheek and mirth that Jace knew well.

“No one! I’ve been up here looking out for you, haven’t I?! Jace replied indignantly, humour and understanding both evident in his voice. “Although, there is a nurse on the fourth floor, who is so damn hot! I think I’m making some headway there,” he tells Alec with a sly grin and a waggle of the brows.

“I” m s-s-s-sure, sh-sh-she w-w-will be all yours s-s-soon enough,” Alec assures him.

“Of course she will,” Jace replies confidently.

As Alec sits back in his chair, he lets Jace talk to him, expanding on all he’d done to get the pretty nurse’s attention. This was what he needed right now. He needed to forget about the fear that always surrounded him; the fear that his life had changed so dramatically that he now no longer recognised it; the fear that this change was permanent and he would forever be lost and struggling to find a smidgeon of reality he still recognised.

The distraction of his brother’s inane chatter (chatter whose importance Jace was very much aware of) lasted for another hour. When Izzy had arrived, she joined in, bitching and moaning about the amount of cologne some young doctor had been wearing in the elevator on her ride up. This had led to a loud and emphatic discussion on pet peeves the three of them had in regards to the behaviour of other people. 

There was no further mention of Sebastian. Nor of the fact that he had left without confirming he would return for their dinner together as he usually did, and for that, Alec was grateful. His relationship with Sebastian had once been the cornerstone of his world. No matter what else had been occurring, he was secure in their relationship and the love and affection they shared. Now, and he couldn’t’ say why exactly, that foundation seemed to be crumbling.

It wasn’t just Alec’s struggles in rehab that were getting them down, though that was part of it. Alec knew he’d changed throughout all of this. He knew he was angry and lashing out, mostly without cause or provocation, and he hated himself for it, but he couldn’t stop it from happening. Everything just felt so out of control and beyond him, that he was consumed by anger and fear. 

And maybe they’d be able to get past all that if they could still find comfort in each other in the quiet moments, but that was disappearing too. Alec knew precisely what was causing it this time. He didn’t want to be hurt again. 

Someone had attacked him, had tried to kill him because they had been so disgusted by his life, and he didn’t want to risk that again. He knew he wasn’t disgusting and he knew there was nothing immoral or impure about the love that he and Sebastian felt, he knew all that. But he could no longer ignore the fact that there were others who felt differently, and some of them felt so strongly about it they would rather see him dead than allow them to be.

His own father had trouble stomaching it, and he was a good man; one of the best Alec knew. How would he know going forward, who would attack him for how he would live his life and who would simply walk away? He was surrounded by doctors and nurses here at the hospital. People whom he relied upon to help him get well again. How could he know who would hate him because he loved another man, hate it so much that they didn’t provide the care he needed to recover? How was he to know, which person walking past him on the street, would look back at he and Seb holding hands and decide that it was on them to rid the world of gays?

Logically he knew that these people had been around before, and except for this one time, he’d been fine, been safe. But had he been really? How close had he come before to winding up in precisely this position? Having been attacked once, he couldn’t help but feel like it could happen again at any time and feeling so vulnerable already, that scared the living daylights out of him.

This was the fear that had prevented him from reaching out for comfort from Sebastian or offering the man comfort in return. He was scared that every touch or kind word the two of them exchanged was an invitation to another beating, and so he pulled back.

Sebastian had tried to ask him about it the other day (Alec thought it might have been yesterday, but it could have been longer than that). Alec though had been too upset to explain himself properly, and it had only led to another fight, one of many they’d had since he woke up.

Cat had been in the room, doing her usual rounds and checking his vitals. She and Alec had been exchanging light banter as she worked, the two of them having gotten to know each other quite well over the last few weeks. Cat had been telling him about her friend over in London who had just broken up with his long term girlfriend a few months ago and wasn’t bouncing back as she had hoped. Sebastian had walked into the room and quietly sat in one of the armchairs so as to not disturb Cat’s checks or her chatter.

“She was such a manipulative bitch, and now he’s over there all by himself, with no one to support him, and I hate it,” she tells Alec.

Having given his boyfriend a quick smile as he came in, Alec quickly turns back to answer Cat.

“He d-doesn’t have any f-f-f-friends over th-there?”

“Oh, he has a tonne of them. He’s the sort that draws people to him like moths to a flame, but all his family is over here,” she tells him emotionally. “I just wish I could convince him to come home early.”

“How l-l-long’s he got l-l-left of his contract?” He asks gently.

“Three months.” 

“Th-th-that’s not f-forever, Cat. He’ll be here s-s-soon enough and you can w-w-w-wrap him in a g-g-great big hug and never let go,” he tells her supportively.

“Hug?” She asks in an exasperated tone. “I’m going to kick his arse for falling for the human blood-sucker in the first place!” She tells him vehemently, before softening her tone. “Then I’ll give him the longest hug ever.’

“And I’m s-s-s-sure he’ll l-love both,” he answers, biting back a smile at the passion of his favourite nurse when she talks about her friends and family.

“Damn straight, he will! Now, you’re all good, and so I’m going to leave you in the capable hands of blondie over there, while I go back to the endless paperwork, that’s somehow involved in nursing,” she told him with a sigh. She gave him a quick smile and a pat on his shoulder before she walked out, saying hi to Sebastian as she went past.

Having given Cat a quick smile in return, Sebastian had then quickly moved up to Alec’s bed and reached over to give him a kiss. As he’d done so, Alec had heard Cat come back into the room, telling them she had left behind her watch from when she had been applying moisturiser into Alec’s scar tissue. Hearing her voice, Alec had quickly pulled away from Sebastian’s kiss and held himself away from the other man while Cat was in the room.

Sebastian had held quiet, but the second she had walked back out, he’d turned to Alec.

“What the hell was that?”

“Wh-wh-what?”

“Why did you pull away from me? Again?” Sebastian demanded.

“I-I-I didn’t.”

“Yes you did, Alec,” he said, his voice hard as he looked sadly down at Alec.

“J-j-just, Cat d-d-doesn’t w-want to s-s-s-see us k-k-kissing!” Alec told him, trying to hide his guilty look behind annoyance.

“Cat really doesn’t care! Cat knows we are a couple and I’m sure she knows by now that couples kiss, and make love and hold hands, and do all sorts of things together!” Sebastian told him, hurt and anger clear in his voice.

“W-w-well, maybe I d-don’t w-w-want to do that,” Alec had replied softly.

He’d then watched guiltily as the anger melted off Sebastian’s face and hurt settled in. 

“Alec, what are you saying?”

“Nothing.”

“Yes, you are! Do you want to break up with me? Is that what you’re trying to tell me?”

“No! Of c-c-course not!” Alec answers emotionally. “I j-j-just d-don’t see wh-why we have to sh-sh-sh. Sh-sh-sh—“Alec broke off, frustrated, before taking a deep breath and trying again. “Wh-why we have to sh-sh-shove it down everyone’s throat! N-not everyone w-w-wants to s-s-see us kissing, S-S-Seb!”

“Yeah, well, I like kissing my boyfriend. And I like holding my boyfriend’s hand. And just in case you’ve forgotten, you used to like that too, Alec.” Sebastian had told him, voice breaking, before turning and walking back out of the room.

As Jace and Izzy prepared to make their departure for the night now, Jace leaned over quietly to make sure Alec was going to be ok.

“You sure you don’t want me to stay, brother? Those armchairs are damn comfy, and we can sit up all night chatting like we used to,” he offered.

Seeing the exhaustion and tired lines that creased his brother’s young face, Alec smiled softly at the offer, thankful and a little unsure what he had done to deserve the love and devotion Jace and Izzy continued to show him. 

“I’m fine, Jace, but th-th-thanks. S-S-Sebastian w-will be back for dinner s-s-soon and I th-th-think I might ask for s-something to h-h-help me get a good nights sleep. I’m p-p-pretty tired.”

“Ok,” Jace says softly, leaning down to give Alec a hug, “call me if you need anything, ok?”

“I w-will,” Alec promises.

As Izzy leans down next for a hug, Alec closes his eyes and lets her love and strength pour into him.

“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think and loved more than you know,” she tells him, repeating the mantra she had been telling him every day since he got hurt. “I love you, big brother. Always remember how much you are loved,” she urged him.

“I w-will Iz. I l-l-love you too.”

Giving him one last squeeze, Izzy straightens up and follows Jace out of the room, leaving Alec alone with his thoughts while he waited for Sebastian to arrive.

An hour later, he was still waiting and unable to sit quietly with his thoughts any longer. Deciding he may as well get up and see if Cat was still on shift so he could pass the time with her, Alec begun the laborious process of getting himself out of bed. It wasn’t so much coordinating his legs to move but making sure he didn’t pull on all the wires and such that he still had attached to him. Thankfully, he had been disconnected from a lot of it these days and instead just had a small box that he needed to carry when he was moving off on his own. 

Finally getting himself organised, Alec pulled himself to his feet and began his slow shuffle to the door. Leaning against the door for a little extra support, Alec pulled the door to his room open slowly until he could move through it.

Hearing Cat’s voice a few steps away, around the corner of the curved desk, Alec allowed himself a small smile at the thought of spending some time with her and began to step forward. He’d only gone a little way, though when he heard Sebastian’s voice speak up, and hearing what they were saying, Alec came to an immediate halt as he began to listen.

“I just don’t know what to do,” Sebastian was saying softly, the heartbreak in his voice pulling at Alec and increasing the guilt he felt for how he’d been treating his boyfriend lately.

“You just got to give him time,” Cat advised. “Alec’s whole world just shifted out from under him, and he is dealing with a lot right now. He’s going to lash out.”

“I know that, I do. And I could take that if that’s all that it was, but it’s not. He doesn’t want me to touch him, he’s angry and curt all the time, he’s stutter can get so bad I can barely understand him, and that just makes him more angry,” Sebastian chokes out emotionally. “I just want to go back to how things were before,” he pleads. “Back when we were happy.”

“You can get there, Sebastian, you just have to give it time. That’s still Alec in there. That’s still the same man you fell in love with,” she tells him sternly.

“I don’t know who that is in that room, Cat, but that is not the man I fell in love with,” Sebastian replies, a sob breaking the end of his words.

There is silence for a moment, while Cat apparently looks for something to say, and Alec, still hidden around the corner, fights back his tears.

“You just have to give him time, Sebastian. Your Alec is still there,” she eventually promises him.

“Maybe, but I don’t know if he’s going to give me that time to find out, or even how much I still want to find him.”

Having heard enough, Alec makes his way back into his room, quietly shutting the door behind him. Crawling back into bed, he lets himself cry for a few minutes before the tears dry up and he comes to a decision. A few minutes later, he hears Sebastian come into the room.

“Hey Alec, I brought dinner. It’s your favourite,” he says softly as he comes in, not sure if Alec is sleeping when he sees his face turned away. However, as Alec turns back to face him, and he takes in his red and puffy eyes, Sebastian puts the food down on a nearby table and rushes forward.

“Alec, what’s wrong? Are you hurt? Do you want me to get Cat?” He asks, panic clear in his voice.

Alec shakes his head quietly in response, for the first time, clearly seeing the pain and heartbreak on his boyfriend’s face and acknowledging the struggle and stress the other man has been under, perhaps even more so than him. But that ends now, he promises himself.

“I’m ok. I’ve j-j-just b-been th-th-thinking, is all,” Alec tells him softly.

He watches as Sebastian leans back, and resignation comes over his face as if he has been anticipating and dreading this day coming for some time.

“About what?” He asks softly, settling back in the chair beside Alec’s bed and watching Alec quietly, emotion slowly falling from his face until it resembled a blank canvas, waiting for the right artist to come in and add the little details that give it life.

Knowing he was no longer the person to do this, Alec begins.

“I c-c-can’t d-do this anymore, Seb.’

“Do what exactly?” He asks, his voice as void of emotion as his face is.

“Us,” Alec answers brokenly.

Resignedly nodding his head, Sebastian looks away from Alec before answering, his gaze locked unseeingly on the armchair he’d spent the previous night curled up on.

“Can’t or won’t?”

“B-both? Either?” Alec answers, before trying to explain.

“All I’m d-d-doing is h-hurting you right now, Seb, and I c-c-c-can’t do it anymore. I n-need to f-f-f-focus on me.”

“All I want is to focus on you, Alec!” Sebastian finally explodes, turning to look back at Alec, this time with a kaleidoscope of emotions battling for dominance on his face. Alec watches as anger begins to win the fight.

“All I’ve done is support you and be here for you, but it’s like you don’t want to know me anymore! You push me away! You avoid talking to me! And I don’t know what I’m supposed to do to make it better!”

“Th-there’s nothing you c-c-can do, Seb. I’m s-s-s-sorry,” he breaks out, his tears falling once more. 

Seeing the tears running freely down Alec’s face, the anger abruptly leaves Sebastians and heartbreak takes it’s turn.

“Don’t be sorry, Alec,” he pleads, “just don’t do this.”

“I h-have to do this. I l-l-love you, but I don’t want th-th-this anymore.”

“Alec—“Sebastian begins brokenly before Alec turns his head away once more.

“G-g-goodbye, Seb,” he says with finality. He then listens as for a few seconds there is nothing but the sounds of Sebastian’s quiet crying before he hears his footsteps retreat and the door open and close behind him. 

And just like that, a large and important chapter of his life is over, and as the realisation of what he’s just done washes over him, he breaks down in heartbroken sobs. It’s less than a minute later that Cat rushes in, either having heard him or been alerted by Sebastian’s departure. Seeing Alec on his bed, she half lays/half sits next to him, and pulling him into her embrace, holds him quietly as the sobs wrack his body, holding him and murmuring reassurances in his ear until he finally drifts off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this has been a fairly heavy story and I am so grateful for each and every one of you who have stuck with it and supported me with it. This one is a bit of a favoured child for me, and every bit of support it gets just fills me up, so THANK YOU!  
> Next chapter we finally see Magnus. In fact the entire chapter will be devoted to Magnus, and from then of chapters will share focus between the two, though the majority of the focus will stay somewhat with Alec.  
> I hope everyone is safe, happy and healthy wherever you are.  
> As always, constructive criticism is welcomed, but please be kind. Comments and kudos fuel my passion to write so leave one below if you haven’t already and are so inclined. 😊


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone . . . Meet Magnus!  
> Magnus arrives back in New York and settles himself back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, first off, welcome to the first chapter with no warnings!  
> Just kidding. However the only warning is for a brief mention of infidelity and troubled childhood, but that’s basically all it is, brief mentions.  
> Secondly, something about this chapter is not flowing great with me, but everything I want is in there somewhere, and if I don’t post it now, you all won’t get it for another week as work is super busy at the moment. For those of you who are also reading ‘The Bachelor’ (and if you aren’t, then you should, if only for some light releif from this one), I am hoping to manage to get a chapter out next weekend, but unless things go really well for me this upcoming week (and the last couple of weeks show me that is unlikely), it will more than likely be the week after. I will try my best though.  
> In the meantime, this chapter is told entirely from Magnus’s POV, just to introduce him to the story and get him set up. Everything from here on out should swing somewhere between Alec and Magnus, though occasionally one might dominate or have a chapter all to themselves.  
> I hope everyone is able to enjoy it, and the something not right is just my current busy mindset. I liked this a few days ago, when I first finished. It’s only in editing that I have started being fussy with it. 😂Typical me.

Three Months Later . . .

"I don't know what you are complaining about, Chairman," Magnus huffed tiredly at the cat in the carrier, hanging from his hands. "I took three very uncomfortable flights with two exhausting layovers just so you could accompany me home in the cabin of the plane rather than travel via the cargo hold."

"Mreowww!"

"Oh shush, you ungrateful feline!" The beautiful man hissed at the cat as he continued to walk through the airport towards the luggage claim. He was tired, cranky and covered in plane grime. He was most definitely not in the mood to continue dealing with an angry Chairman.

Finally reaching the luggage carousel, he saw it wasn't yet moving, so heaving another sigh, he shuffled his way to a nearby bench to wait. Placing the disgruntled cat beside him, Magnus leaned his head back in exhaustion.

It wouldn't have been his first choice to take three flights, rather than the direct London to NY flight to return home. But it had been the only way to keep his precious Chairman Meow out of the cargo hold. Only select flights and airlines allowed cats to travel in the cabin next to their owners, rather than in the cold and uncomfortable cargo holds in the belly of the plane.

Despite his current annoyance with his cat, there was no way he ever would have risked his precious baby like that. He had heard way too many horror stories of cats not surviving travel like that, and frankly, the first story he'd heard had been enough to dissuade him.

However, now that he'd reached the end of his long journey, 31 hours after he had begun it, all he felt was exhausted and grumpy, much like his fur-baby. He simply wanted to collect his luggage, go home to his loft (finally!) and fall asleep.

"Magnus!"

Raising his head and looking around, Magnus felt a wide smile fall across his face as he saw his sister rushing towards him.

"Biscuit!" He called out, tiredly pulling himself up and wrapping his arms around Clary as she finally reached him.

"Oh, I've missed you! I'm so glad you're home finally!" She told him excitedly, her arms wrapped tight around his neck.

"I've missed you too, Biscuit! I've missed you too," he told her emotionally.

The two held each other for a few more moments before pulling back to look happily at each other.

"You look terrible," Clary told him with a bright smile.

"Thanks," Magnus drawled sarcastically, pulling himself out of his adopted sister's arms. "I love you too."

Her smile widening in amusement, Clary bent down in front of the cat carrier.

"Hi, Chairman!"

"Wrowww! Pssttttt!" The cat responded.

"As friendly as ever I see," Clary said, pulling back.

"He's just cranky," Magnus explained. "It was a long flight."

"He's always cranky," Clary said dryly before quickly wrapping Magnus up in another hug.

As they heard the luggage carousel start up behind them, they let go of each other and turned towards the bags that were currently making their way around the tracks. Seeing the first of his bags come round, Magnus turns to Clary.

"Do you mind watching Chairman for me?"

"No problem," Clary says happily, plonking herself down next to the grumpy cat, who simply gave her a dirty look before decidedly standing up and turning around to settle with his back to her.

Ten minutes later, the two of them were pushing a trolley with his bags through the airport, the cat, still in his carrier, staring grumpily at Magnus as they made their way to Clary's car.

Ignoring the cat, Magnus listened as Clary caught him up on everything that he'd missed. He'd stayed in close contact with everyone while he'd been away, and they'd even visited back and forth, but there was nothing like living back home and being a part of everyone's everyday lives.

"So Rosa completely blew up at Raphael in the middle of dinner, calling him over-protective and over-bearing and over—"

"—annoying?" Magnus suggested.

"No! Overly pessimistic," Clary told him with a smile. "Poor Simon spent the rest of the dinner trying to calm things down and mediate between the two of them. It made for a very uncomfortable dinner. Ragnor, Cat and I got out of there as soon as we could."

"How old is Rosa now?" Magnus inquired. "Twenty-one?"

"Twenty."

"Well, as much as it pains me to admit it, Raphael is right. Twenty is much too young to be moving in with your boyfriend. She should listen to her brother."

"As Rosa reminded Raphael, Simon was twenty when he moved in with them."

"And I very much advised Simon against that move. Why anyone would willingly tie themselves even further into a relationship with Raphael Santiago is beyond me," Magnus replied with an affectionate smile. Despite his words, he adored his friend and couldn't wait to be able to spend time with Raphael again, as well as his dear Cat, and his mentor and friend, Ragnor. He was even looking forward to seeing Simon, though he did hope the man had learned to curb his endless chatter somewhat. 

"Have they sorted it out now?" He asks Clary.

"Well, that was the night before last, and I don't think Rosa and Raphael have spoken yet," Clary said sadly.

"That makes for a very uncomfortable living arrangement for Simon then, it seems."

"I think he's been hiding out at work," Clary confesses with a laugh. 

"And how is the world of programming?" Magnus asked, "or whatever it is he does?"

"I have no idea," Clary says with a laugh. "I like playing the games he brings home for us to test out, but when he goes into the process of coding or whatever he does, it's like he's speaking a foreign language. I have no clue what he is talking about."

"And how are Luke and Jocelyn?" He asked fondly, looking forward to seeing his parents later that evening.

"They're good," Clary says, smiling at the hint of longing in Magnus's voice. "They're looking forward to dinner tonight, but wanted me to let you know that if you are too tired after the flight, then we can absolutely reschedule."

"Nonsense!" Magnus declared. "I have been looking forward to a nice home-cooked dinner for months now. I'll have a small rest this afternoon and be good to go for dinner."

"Alright, but the offer is there. They don't have home-cooked dinner in London?"

"It's not much fun cooking for yourself," he tells his sister sadly. "Besides, it's been so long since I've sat down for dinner with my family."

He smiled as Clary reached over, and wrapping her arms around one of his, laid her head on his shoulder and gave him a squeeze.

"I'm so glad you're home," she told him emotionally.

"So am I, Biscuit. So am I."

Magnus feels himself relax as he finally, finally steps into his loft. 

"Oh, how I've missed this space," Magnus declared dramatically as he collapsed onto his lounge.

"Mreoww!"

"Oh, Chairman! I'm so sorry, my baby," Magnus exclaimed as he jumped back up to let Chairman out of his cage.

Unlatching the cage, the Chairman shot out and began racing around the loft, rediscovering his former space and relearning all his favourite hidey-holes.

"You're welcome!" Magnus called out after him, watching the cat disappear through the bedroom door.

"He looks happy to be home," Clary quipped.

"I don't know why I love him," Magnus grumbled, looking unhappily after his cat before moving back to the lounge.

"He's just settling in," she allowed before setting down the bags she'd been carrying, next to the ones that Magnus had brought up.

"Mum did a grocery shop for you yesterday, so you're fully stocked up. And I did another clean through yesterday and opened the windows for some fresh air. Thank you so much for letting me stay here while you were away," she told him.

"Thank you for staying here and taking care of the place for me," he answered. "I trust you were comfortable?"

"What living in a gorgeous three-bedroom loft with stunning views? Yeah, I made do," she joked before coming forward and sitting herself next to Magnus.

"Brat!" He exclaimed.

"Tart!" She lobbed back with a wide grin. 

Magnus couldn't help but return a smile to his sister, having missed the banter they shared and their unique way of saying 'I love you.'

"You want me to stay and help you unpack, or do you want some time to re-acclimate?" Clary asked, laying her head back on his shoulder.

Twisting slightly without disturbing her, Magnus leaned over and brushed a kiss over the riot of red curls on her head.

"I'm all good, thanks, Clary. I'm going to go shower and then fall asleep for a few hours. I'll unpack later."

"Ok," she said simply. "I'll see you later at dinner?"

"See you then," he answered with a smile, accepting her kiss to his cheek with a soft smile.

He kept watch on his sister as she walked out the door, and as it closed behind her, moved his head to rest on the back of the couch, his eyes falling shut peacefully.

For the next few minutes, he luxuriated in the knowledge that he was finally home, back amongst his family and friends and back in the home he had created for himself.

He had been 21 years old when his previously unknown maternal grandparents had tracked him down to grace him with his disowned mother's inheritance. Or at least their lawyer had tracked him down. The dour man had plainly explained that when his mother had defied her wealthy parents to run off with his father, she had been disinherited from the family fortune. However, being their only grandson, they wished to bequeath him a loft, as well as a modest monetary sum. 

The lawyer had then made it clear that his grandparents had no wish to have any further contact with him despite this generous gift. To receive the inheritance, Magnus had had to sign a contract saying that he would initiate no further contact with them nor request anything further of them in the future. 

Having had no desire to know the people who had turned his mother out, Magnus had happily signed the paper and sent the lawyer on his way. He'd briefly considered giving away the loft and money also, but after talking to his parents, he had decided to keep them instead.

He'd happily made his home here instead, decorating it precisely to his liking and littering it liberally with the artistic touches of his adopted mother and sister, as well as a few little pieces he'd picked up on his own. 

He hadn't given another thought to the blood family who had essentially bought him off to stay out of their lives. He'd created his own family when Luke and Jocelyn had taken him in as a foster child at 16. He'd finally found his place when, six months before his 18th birthday, they had asked him if he would give them their blessing to adopt him, wanting him to legally and forever be a part of their family. He'd joyfully agreed and, with them, had found the family he'd always wanted.

It had been hard to leave them two years ago when his mentor Ragnor Fell had set him up with an internship in London. The purpose was to allow Magnus to learn new ways to commission and produce fabrics, work on a manufacturing level, and follow the material straight to runway presentation. London had ended up being a roller coaster ride of highs and lows, leaving him exhausted and worn out. He could think of nothing better than coming home and surrounding himself with his family and friends and cushioning himself in their love. 

Professionally, it had been a massive high point. He'd learnt so much about the different ways fabric is produced that can alter the viability or its manoeuvrability in design. As a result of this knowledge, he was able to create fresh and innovative designs that were currently placing him at the top of every 'To Watch' list in the design world. 

Personally, Magnus had left London heartbroken and simply broken. He'd fallen for one of the models early in his stay when she'd been assigned to model one of his early designs. He'd fallen instantly in love, and so had she. Only she'd fallen in love with the way that wearing his designs had given her the notoriety to launch her career. 

She'd cared for Magnus, sure. Even she admitted that, but she'd fooled him into thinking it was more and then dumped him when she no longer needed him.

"You couldn't possibly have thought that this would last!" Camille had scathingly told him on that last day. "You want too much from people Magnus! You're so desperate for love that you smother them."

"I'm sorry, Camille!" He'd pleaded. "I'll do better. Just give this another chance."

"There is no this, Magnus. Not anymore. I'm sick of being your emotional bandaid! So you had a crappy childhood! Well, big whoop! Lots of people do, and they deal with it!" 

Magnus watched helplessly as Camille then delivered the final blow before she stormed out of his apartment and his life.

"Did you even know that I've been cheating on you the last few months? Or were you so wrapped up in yourself that you paid no attention to what was clearly happening all around you?"

"What are you talking about?" Magnus asked quietly, dread and anger lowering the tone of his voice significantly.

"I've been screwing others," she told him bluntly. "Many of them, your friends and co-workers. And you didn't even notice."

"How could you do that?" He asked, anger making his voice shake. "Why would you do that?" 

"Because! You wanted too much! You're too much! And I was suffocating under you!" She shouted, a little of her bravado, leaving her as she took in the way Magnus was vibrating with anger.

"I'm sorry, Magnus," she suddenly told him, her voice so much quieter in comparison to a second ago. "You wanted too much from me. I told you when we first started dating that I was focused on my career. I told you then that I didn't want a relationship, I just wanted to have fun while I worked my way to the top, but you kept pushing for more and more and more!"

"And that gives you permission to screw around on me!" He demanded angrily.

"I wanted to make you stop!" She answered, her voice rising again. "But you have such blinders on. You didn't even see what was happening right in front of you!"

"Get out."

"Magnus—"

"I said, GET OUT!" He roared, his arm locked and pointing at the door as he stared at her in a fury.

"You brought this on yourself, Magnus," she told him pityingly as she picked up her purse and stalked out of the apartment. 

The second she'd left, Magnus had collapsed on the bed and cried himself to sleep. He'd called in sick that entire week of work, finally calling his best friend Cat on the second day to cry to her.

"She never deserved you, Magnus. She's evil and unworthy of you," Cat had told him, love for her friend bleeding through her voice.

"I loved her," he'd replied brokenly. 

"That wasn't love, Magnus. It might have felt like it at the time, but love doesn't treat you like that. Look, someday someone will come along, someone who will treat you right. Who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated and will love and adore you and be there for you, in every way possible," Cat reassured him.

"You think so?" He'd mumbled back, his tears tapering off to soft snuffles into his pillow.

"I know so," she assured him. "In the meantime, you have a whole busload of friends and family back here who miss your gorgeous glittery self. Why don't you come home early?" 

Magnus thought about it briefly, hearing the slight pleading tone in his friend's voice. 

"No, I'm going to stay and finish up the contract, Cat. There's only three months left, and I won't let Camille and those arseholes ruin my career as well."

"Ok," she'd replied, disappointment colouring her voice. "If you're sure. You can always change your mind, you know? Ragnor wouldn't mind."

Knowing the disappointment he was hearing was for him rather than in him, Magnus smiled, suddenly wishing he could wrap his arms around Cat and give her a big hug. Or even better, let himself be wrapped up in her arms, safe and cocooned in her protective embrace.

"I know," he told her emotionally. "But I want to finish this."

"Ok," she replied understandingly. "Call me anytime you need me, ok?"

"I will. Love you, Cat."

"I love you too, Magnus."

As he leaned back now and took in the quiet sounds of the city around him and the familiar sights and smells of his loft, Magnus finally felt like he could try to let go of all that ugliness and start moving forward again. His last three months in London had been about surviving. Refusing to let those that had hurt him win—refusing to let them damage his career and his future as they had him. Camille had tried multiple times to talk to him, but he had avoided her at every opportunity, and when he'd left, the last words exchanged between them had remained him ordering her out of his apartment.

"Meow."

Looking to his side, he saw Chairman Meow slowly making his way over to him. After patting his stomach invitingly, Magnus smiled happily as his cat made his way up and jumped onto him, testing his claws out on his shirt before settling down peacefully.

"You forgiven me for that plane ride yet?" He asked softly, his hand moving softly and steadily down Chairman's back.

"Meow."

"Yeah, I'm glad to be home too," he responded. Holding conversations with his cat was a common occurrence for him. He'd often say it was some of the best conversations he ever had. 

For the next ten minutes, the two of them sat there happily, basking in the comfort of being home and with each other.

Finally, feeling fatigue start to overwhelm him, Magnus gave Chairman a gentle nudge, apologising as the cat gave him a dirty glare before resettling on the cushion of the lounge beside him. Hauling himself to his feet, he stumbled tiredly to the shower and began stripping off his clothes. Desperate to wash the airplane stink off his body before he collapsed into sleep, Magnus waited impatiently for the temperature to adjust before he stepped under the warm spray and heaved a deep sigh.

For a few minutes, he luxuriated in the feeling of the water rushing down his body, grateful for the upgrade he'd put into the bathroom four years ago that had included multi-function showerheads. As the pounding water unlocked the knots in his shoulders, Magnus rolled the muscles in his neck before reaching out for his favourite body wash. Mentally reminding himself to thank Jocelyn for getting it, Magnus washed his body down thoroughly, but as quickly as he could. 

He knew he was only minutes away from collapsing in a state of utter collapse, and much preferring to do it in his bed than his shower, he quickly turned the water off. Stepping out, he made an effort to dry himself before stumbling over to the sink and half-heartedly brushing his teeth. 

Pulling on a pair of fresh boxers, he finally made it to his bed, falling down on top of it, too tired to even get up and pull himself under the covers. A minute later, he was vaguely aware of Chairman Meow jumping up on the bed and curling himself into the curve of Magnus's body. A soft smile graced his face, and a hand gently came to rest over Chairman's body before Magnus finally succumbed to his exhaustion.

Six hours later and Magnus was drinking down another cup of coffee before he made his way to his parent's house. He'd woken a little over two hours ago, thanks to the Chairman swishing his tail in his face. He'd desperately wanted to go back to sleep, but he knew if he did, he would have no chance of sleeping later tonight. Instead, he'd gotten up and dragged himself into another shower, quickly filling the Chairman's food bowl first. 

Emerging after, he felt much more awake, and after dressing and applying his make-up, just some quick eyeliner and shadow, he'd made a coffee and set about unpacking his suitcases. Most of his stuff would arrive in a few days, as he'd organised to have it transported separately from London. However, he still had many items here that he'd never bothered to take with him, so even though most of his suitcase items were all wrinkly, he still had plenty of options for dinner tonight.

Finishing his coffee, Magnus pulled himself to his feet and began calling out to Chairman Meow, searching for the cat as he did so.

"Chairman! Daddy's heading out to Grandma and Grandpa's, ok? I won't be long. I'll be back in a couple of hours, ok?"

Finally finding the Chairman curled up in the hut on the top of his scratching post, he leaned closer inquisitively.

"Do you even care that I'm going?" He complained, watching as Chairman raised a single, uninterested eyelid before closing it again and resuming his sleep.

"Fine, sleep, you ungrateful feline! But don't come waking me up in the middle of the night because you've slept all day," he huffed before dramatically turning and striding out of the apartment.

"Mum? Dad?" Magnus called out as he let himself into the home he'd grown to love in his last years as a teenager.

"Magnus!" Jocelyn called out happily, just seconds before she came rushing through from the kitchen to wrap him up in a big hug.

"Oh, sweetheart! It's so good to have you home," she said as she sobbed happily into his shoulder, the highest part of him she could reach.

Not bothering to wipe the happy tears now streaking her face, she pulled back to look critically at him in her typical motherly inspection.

"You're too thin! And you look tired! Did you sleep? Come into the kitchen, and I'll get you something to eat while your father finishes up dinner." 

She quickly pulls him into another hug before pulling him along behind her, Magnus happily trailing along, with a large sappy smile on his face at the love and affection he feels in his welcome home. As they walk, Jocelyn keeps talking at his side, seeming to have saved up all her words to give him in person. 

"We wanted to come with you to the airport, but Luke was stuck late on shift, and Clary begged us to let her pick you up by herself, but we're so glad you're finally home. You look wonderful! I've so missed having my boy here where I can see him whenever I want to. I hope you don't have any more trips away planned for some time, do you? Maybe you could let your good old Mum relish having you close for a while?"

"Let the boy breathe, Joce," Luke told his wife affectionately as they entered the kitchen. Despite his words, upon seeing his son, Luke quickly rounded the kitchen bench and pulled Magnus into a giant bear hug. Despite his slight struggle to draw breath, Magnus returned the hug with everything he had, loving the engulfing warmth of his Dad's hugs and feeling warm tears spark at the corner of his eyes as he realised how much he had truly missed being home. "You're looking good, son," Luke tells him, his arms still wrapped tight around him. "You doing good too?"

"All the better for being home," Magnus tells him with a smile, finally pulling out of his Dad's arms and making his way over to the oven for a peek. "Especially seeing as your roast is in the oven and creating those delicious smells."

"Stay out of there!" Luke warns him affectionately, "You'll let the heat out and ruin dinner."

"Yes, Dad," Magnus answers with a smile. 

"He's already told me off for doing the same thing ten minutes ago," Clary tells him, walking into the kitchen and immediately walking over to Magnus for another hug.

"And if your brother had done the same as you, I'd have to throw it out and start all over again," Luke told them, gently flicking the pair with a tea towel.

"Such a perfectionist," Clary mumbled to him under her breath. The two moved out of the kitchen under the watchful eye of their father and planted themselves at the family dining table on the other side of the kitchen bench.

The family continued to chat as Jocelyn and Luke continued to finish dinner, the conversation flowing light and easy between them. For his part, Magnus ensured to keep the conversation free of heavy topics, including his failed relationship with Camille, not that his parents knew the whole story.

Though he'd told Clary everything, he'd purposely kept most of the details from his parents, not wanting to share his heartache with them. He'd simply told them that the romance had ended and had not ended well. They'd asked a few questions but, hearing his reluctance to discuss it further, had let the matter drop.

A little over an hour later, they had finished dinner, Magnus rubbing his tummy absentmindedly, having gorged himself on the delicious meal Luke had served up. The four of them now sat around, slowly eating the apple and rhubarb pie Jocelyn had made while they continued talking and catching up.

"You're coming to Clary's showing tomorrow night, right?" Jocelyn asked Magnus with a smile.

"Absolutely! I can't wait to see Biscuit's latest work," Magnus agreed. "How many pieces are you exhibiting, Clary?"

"Three pieces," Clary told him with a smile. "The Institute allows you to show the three pieces that got you accepted into the program. At the end of the year, there's another showing, and your five best pieces are exhibited. It's your big chance to get yourself known to all the big art critics and investors," she tells him excitedly.

"This is kind of an exclusive program, isn't it?" Magnus confirmed.

"Very," she tells him with a proud yet shy smile. "No more than 20 students a year. Only 16 got in this year. There was a rumour someone got the Idris Scholarship too, but it turns out that's all it was. A rumour."

"What's the Idris Scholarship?" Magnus asked, turning to look at Jocelyn when she answered for Clary.

"It's essentially an invitation for specialised study, within the already specialised program," she explains. "It's given out rarely to only the most exceptional talents. They get private tutoring and nurturing, above what he other's get, and they get a private gallery showing at the end."

"Basically, their career is made for them," Clary says with an envious smile.

"How come it's not given every year?" Luke asked.

"They don't want to just pick the best of the year. They want to pick the exceptional artist. And that's not someone that comes along every year," Jocelyn explains. Being a successful artist herself, Jocelyn has a good understanding of just how rare that type of talent was. 

"Well, scholarship or not, Biscuit, I will be there to cheer you on tomorrow night. I couldn't imagine any place I would rather be," Magnus tells his sister, sending her a wink across the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading.  
> As always, constructive criticism is welcomed, but please be kind. Comments and kudos fuel my passion to write so leave one below if you haven’t already and are so inclined 😉.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated, as is any constructive feedback or criticism but please be nice.


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